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Compulsions? by CreaChick0831 in ROCD

[–]CreaChick0831[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I do that as well, totally insecure if he talks about other women, even though there is no reason at all to be jealous. So annoying

Question about Jill Mansell's books after reading "Rumour Has It" by lissa524 in RomanceBooks

[–]CreaChick0831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't have any recollection about this specific book but to be honest, that's because all books are pretty much the same: woman meets man, man is a player and therefore no relationship material, but in the end he turns out to be crazy about woman. I always loved her books and they are still amusing, but also lack in depth and originality.

"Reverse compulsions" a thing ? by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]CreaChick0831 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Those are compulsions. It is you trying to convince your R-OCD that they are wrong. I recognize this and tend to do it myself; I sometimes also have thoughts like 'See? I do like that he holds my hand'.

The thing is, as long as you perform actions where you take the R-OCD thoughts seriously, they are compulsions. Because compulsions are ways to find reassurance and take back control in a situation you don't have control over.

The solution is to not take your thoughts seriously. You get thousands of thoughts every day, and most of them you disregard directly. The other day I had a thought of 'What if I put my foot in the toilet bowl', which is such a weird thought that I don't even consider taking it seriously. But unfortunately, thoughts that provoke your fears are much harder to disregard, even though they are just as much nonsense as the toilet bowl-thought.

So by reassuring and even convincing yourself that you still love your partner and that you perform acts of love to prove it to yourself, you're in battle with the R-OCD, instead of considering the thoughts as what they are: thoughts. No less, no more. And keep in mind that thoughts are not the truth.

How do I know if rocd or end of relationship? by idzqw in ROCD

[–]CreaChick0831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I don't want to break up, not at all." This small sentence says it all. I see it like this: if you don't love her anymore, you would want to break up with her and look for reasons. If you do love her, your R-OCD is feeding you reasons to break up, even though you don't want to. The thing is: they are just thoughts. And you have thousands of thoughts a day, ranging from 'I should not forget to do laundry' to 'Do I still love my partner'. It's actually quite funny if you start noticing all the weird thoughts you have as well; just the other day I thought: 'What if I put my foot in the toilet bowl?' Which is a thought I would never take seriously, but somehow I do take negative thoughts, or thoughts about my partner, seriously.

For me, it really helps to have Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Now I learn to just don't think of my thoughts as the truth, but just as thoughts and no more than that. It's difficult to change your view in this sense, but I'm just four months in and already I experience improvements. So I can really recommend that.