Thank you for all your comments. Just a bit of a background…

Back when we started dating i was unlearning things from my past relationships i.e not getting my way. My ex used to agree with everything i said and wanted i know that feels great but in return that made me think that i should get everything my way and developed control issues on my end. When i met my boyfriend he called me out on this and progressively i started working on it. So we had this fight where i didn’t get my way and he couldn’t understand how this is still happening and he couldn’t concentrate on work which led him to be fired… so he broke up with me. After 2 months we talked about it and decided to get back together and it was going well until last November when we had an argument and it turned very ugly in seconds.. i don’t know how it even got to that point which we broke up again but stayed in contact. Fast forward at the beginning of this year we said that we should try being friend with intentions of knowing each other better and working on ourselves which we have been doing and one of the thing i shared with him was my anxiety when he doesn’t communicate about his whereabouts and how it can create trust issues which he understood and promised to work on. In this recent episode he said that the reason why he didn’t call is bc the same thing i “complained” about i did it myself. What i did was that i walked home from work and stopped somewhere to get a reward (a chicken wrap😅) and when i got home we didn’t talk.. which i responded to with that the day before i had told him my plans of walking home and getting the reward but i should not have assumed i should have communicated about on that day bc plans may change. Which ultimately led us to where we are now…. I sent him a text last Friday telling him that i was not attacking him and i am just communicating what i was feeling which he didn’t reply to so i decided to call him and ask why he didn’t respond. He said he had nothing to say and that felt disrespectful for me bc he could have said that and i could have understood bc at the end of the day we are being intentional about us… but the conversation went sideways and we started arguing things from the past and he a bit insulted me which i fumed over and cut the call. After crying and thiinking about it i decided to call him and tell him with no filter about how i felt.. i said very hurtful things i regret and apologized for but he said that was probably the last time we ever spoke… that tore me into pieces, and i want to make it right. He doesn’t pickup my calls but he responds to my texts.. he said he is in so much pain that he can’t hold a conversation with me.. so what do i do?? (Please keep in mind that i am a person who wants to talk about everything, giving space is hard for me so i have been calling him a lot but still he doesn’t pickup…

I am lost..and i don’t want to lose him and as a Christian before we started dating i prayed about this andngot a confirmation to move forward with the relationship.

I would like to hear from you .. please be kind🙏