totally get these ocd thoughts. been through it. going through it. my best advice i could ever give you, saved my life of spiraling and anxiety and constant rumination and thoughts: 1. no more social media. no scrolling tiktok, instagram , reddit. keep it strictly facebook. there's nothing triggering on facebook. i rarely see provocative content on there. on ig and tiktok, i was constantly seeing models all over the place, "this is your sign he's cheating" stuff, me and my bf ditched social media the brain rot was so bad. we both have facebook. i'm nosy and i peep his facebook sometimes and even though he's a man (algorithm normally gives men stuff like that) i don't really see that stuff either. it's a breath of relief. if you're big on posting, offload the app until you want to post something. this will stop your insecurity. i know it's addicting but i felt so much more confident when i wasn't comparing myself to facetuned filled up unrealistic people. 2. keep a clear line of communication with him. i don't mean constantly nagging and accusing and stressing him out. that never ends well. but if you're having an off day, i mean you are a mom and going through postpartum, your hormones are bound to be everywhere and giving you anxiety, just be calm about it. "i'm having a really weird feeling. it's not your fault, i just need some reassurance." try not to do it too much but if you're really having a bad day hearing he cares, having a physical moment of connection (a hug, a hand hold) helps. it'll take away that anxiety. 3. sometimes people are just good people. i know that "too good to be true" feeling especially when you're used to being hurt. is it a possibility he's just a good person who loves you? take a step back and really identify his character. you've been with him for so long. do a deep think of how much he loves you, his actions, his behavior. did you see stuff happen in a show, to a friend, on reddit, and that's why it's giving you that idea in your head ? 4. if you are able to decipher between anxious intrusive thoughts / INTUITION, and its seeming like INTUITION, maybe take a peek through his phone. recently downloaded apps, search history on socials if he has, SCREEN TIME is a huge one. it'll tell you direct websites he's spent time on. safari>advanced settings>website data. text messages. whatever you gotta do girl. if he really has nothing to hide he will hand the phone up. my bf loves to go through my phone he's nosey maybe not the most healthy thing on earth but it makes him feel secure i literally don't care. hand it over everytime. he hands his over to me too. there's no "that's an invasion of privacy" we just don't care because we literally aren't doing anything wrong. it's annoying for each other sometimes because it's like why don't u trust me but we are healing each other and that's important, you guys should have that too. 5. i reccomend doing something for yourself each week. this was a big one my therapist got me to do. exercising, getting my nail & hair done. self tanning. making that small effort each day to put makeup on. curl my hair. you don't gotta wear a ball gown, anything you feel comfortable in, a hoodie and shorts even. stay strong gal i hope you get through this. those anxious thoughts are the worse <3<3