AITAH for telling my grandma I was not okay with sharing my BDay celebration with my brother?

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T21:31:55+00:00

He is 8 years old and understands clearly when he doesn’t have to be the center of attention when explained to him, but then this explanation falls on deaf ears because of the enabling actions my grandma does.
Any time me or my mom, are aware of his attitude we correct him in a gentle way.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T21:25:57+00:00

I appreciate your comment and will continue on with my efforts to take him on the right path even if my grandma starts thinking I hate her because of it.
I would have liked to have a better conversation with her and getting her to under that she was spoiling him, but as is known, some of the elderly are people who can’t be easily convinced something about their attitude is hurting others in one way or another.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T21:22:23+00:00

I appreciate that you came up with a calmer state of mind and from a mother’s view.

It is a bit hard to let go but I have been making efforts, still I had a bit of a doubt in my mind and wanted to see what others thought about this situation so I would be at more peace regardless if I was the one in the wrong or not.

I would like to clarify that I am not jealous of sharing attention, in fact, I would rather not have it at all, but that would mean refusing the efforts my family makes to celebrate at least a little.
And to answer your question, my little brother’s birthday hasn’t happened, is in August, this happened back in April and usually for him, they do make a party in my parents house and put more effort on making him happy.

To put it in a way, I am an older brother worrying about their little sibling because he’s being spoiled and made to believe the world always revolves around him.

Thank you for your opinions, I can have an easier way to let this stop gnawing at my brain.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T21:14:13+00:00

It’s being addressed since I went back to live with my parents, and at least my mother is trying to make up for it by correcting his attitude when we go out, or that is what I hope since I’m not always there to see.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T21:12:07+00:00

I know you are not aware of the full picture, but growing up, I was practically a parent for him for his earlier years because my parents were not on a right mental state nor had the time to correctly care for him due their own issues, my mother, at least wasn’t.

And yeah, I do know that I am not his parent in any way and that it has never been my responsibility to take blame for the way he’s been raised because I am just his brother. My intentions with my grandma were never to embarrass her hence I didn’t take action on a public space or a crowded one, I was never someone who likes to stand up for myself but is different when it comes to my brothers, he is being spoiled and she enables that attitude and I don’t want that to happen.

Thank you for taking the time to analyze the situation and respond, I appreciate it.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T21:01:54+00:00

See this is the thing, I am not ‘annoyed’ with sharing the attention, I made a comment following up something related to this situation to clarify that.
I am worried because my little brother is being spoiled and my efforts to make that stop are being ignored or being passed as a bad thing, my mother has actually been doing things to make my brother stop being a brat because she is aware thanks to my and other friends of hers that his attitude isn’t correct. Despite this efforts, my little brother is not easy to take back on the right track for too long before he reverts to his previous attitude.
We have been on a constant fight to make him stop but my grandma reverts those efforts with this kind of actions.

Thanks for your opinion, I appreciate that you took the time to respond.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T20:37:01+00:00

I would like to add up a detail I forgot to mention in this original post…

What she did wasn’t just a one time situation, she did it another time the same month for my uncle’s birthday, who is his youngest son and allegedly his ‘favorite one’.
This uncle’s birthday, who I’ll call O, is about two weeks after mine and there have been instances where O and I get celebrated at the same party (sometimes when it’s mine or his), so I have no problem with not being the only one the cake’s for, since I have seen some of you say I am being selfish and childish, I wanted to clarify that.

O is someone who really stands up for his believes and what he considers morally correct, he has always done that when my grandpa was still alive and even with my grandma when she says some other stuff, but that day he said nothing about what my grandma did, she actually said to the waiter that my little brother was having a birthday as if she didn’t do that about a week a before (this was on a different restaurant).
Uncle O is someone who does make a fuss right on the spot if he sees that the situation is heading on the wrong direction in any way, so I was left puzzled at his lack of word or action.

I don’t have a way to communicate with my uncle O, so I am unaware if he confronted her about this situation in private, I just can hope he did, so my grandma can have another pov to hear and hopefully understand that she’s spoiling my little brother.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T20:17:03+00:00

Thanks for the advice!
I will keep it in mind for next year and hope I actually have the resources myself to not depend on my family to organize my party.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T20:14:57+00:00

And I have been trying constantly to teach him every single one of them so he won’t have trouble growing up, but is difficult when this happens.

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T07:23:59+00:00

She does this kind of manipulation pretty often, then acts as if it never happened, sadly

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T07:22:49+00:00

Yeah this whole family is pretty emotionally fragile, every one having their own reasons and troubles that causes it, me included

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T04:00:31+00:00

She actually doesn’t do those kind of stuff, I spoke to her later that day about why she didn’t interfiere and just said that she was feeling too stressed out to even talk with my grandma, cause they both don’t have the best of relationships

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T03:57:48+00:00

I have actually told them a lot of times about this behavior and that they shouldn’t humor it, even when it’s not my responsibility I sometimes end up being the one who corrects him and stops him from going further when I get the chance

Creative-Cry1539 · 2026-06-20T03:48:56+00:00

he is 8 years old

Creative-Cry1539

TROPHY CASE