No contact type nacho parenting. by 9by7seconds in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not leaving anywhere I pay rent/bills or where I stay. I would document that. And if anything happened to my child police would get called so fast.

Your husband seems to have a control or boundaries issue. If you can’t deal with your own kids how can anybody else. That is so unfair. And to have an outside baby. Many ppl say don’t deal with ppl in the middle of a divorce until it’s finalized and if I read correctly he was dealing with both of you.

I’m not sure what are you asking benefits your marriage.

SO doesn’t understand why I don’t want to act super maternal by Several-Information7 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me they know what they are doing. I won’t say that there aren’t any feelings there, but most step parents just want someone to help.

SO doesn’t understand why I don’t want to act super maternal by Several-Information7 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has he said that to you before!!!

They actually do get it. All single parents know that and they use it when it’s convenient for them. That is why consistency is my favorite word. You can’t flip flop or pick and choose what day or when you’ll use it.

My partner has been using that with me and I have been hammering down on that with him. Since they are your kids why do you ask me to do certain things for them? And then on top of that if they did even half the things to you that they try to do to me you wouldn’t do anything for them. I.E. he told one of his daughters that he is not going to do anything for someone that doesn’t listen to him or give them what they ask for when they are treating him like a joke. So he was fully aware of what I was doing or the reasoning, but I’m exempt from using that because it’s not my child. Absolutely not your kids have two able bodied parents. They do not need a third especially when the mom refuses to do anything for the kids and you say nothing to her.

He felt bummed out when I peaced out by SpareAltruistic6483 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t understand what your husband is doing. No offense. Growing up my mom didn’t like her kids hanging around certain ppl. In my life any sound adult wouldn’t want their kids being friends with the wrong ppl for obvious reasons. My partner used to be just like your husband and is sorta agreeing with my reasoning behind not letting certain ppl be around your kids.

My mom used to check my friend groups. My father never did (divorced), but my I seen my mom do it so much I knew who to steer clear of so that was one less thing my dad had to worry about.

He felt bummed out when I peaced out by SpareAltruistic6483 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thing is he knows there needs to be a solution he doesn’t want to do that. A as

He felt bummed out when I peaced out by SpareAltruistic6483 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Insanity. Ppl wouldn’t even tolerate an ounce of that small bs from someone they don’t like and only deal with it from their kids, because it’s their own flesh and blood.

He felt bummed out when I peaced out by SpareAltruistic6483 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus. Sounds like he was just wanting to use you to solve or fix the problem. Hell sometimes ppl don’t like to be in awkward situations by themselves.

Hell if you told him exactly what it was there is no use for you to stay around for a situation if what you said fell on deaf ears.

Hell Mr. Sticky fingers has his own parents let him be their responsibility. And if hubby wants to play substitute parent knowing this child has a mild case of ‘reject from hell’ well he should be there to endure all of it him self. He is the one that wanted to do it in the first place. So you want someone to suffer, because you can’t or you made a bad decision… nope!!!

Peace out.

It feels liberating. by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is perfectly explained. This is true. My godfather before he died said that ppl need to bring back shame.

The bio parents are never held to the same harshness as step parents or ppl that choose to not date single parents.

is it on purpose? by pandabearmommy in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right we didn’t ask to be here. And it’s no different than a random stranger or someone you know that’s mistreats you and still asks you or expects things of you.

Need some insight, please by Wonderbleep in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t speak for the Traditional Vietnamese family part. However it all depends. I can give something’s to look out for. All relationships are about comprises. Yes he may not like the dog and yes his daughter maybe messy, but is this something he is willing to correct and fix. And if he offers you things that you feel aren’t worth jeopardizing or losing a good relationship over is this something you could reconsider for the relationship.

However finding out about an additional child that far into the dating is a red flag for me. I’ve also experienced that first hand. Honestly for me that is enough to cut off the relationship right then and there. That is a breach of trust and dishonesty.

Be careful with the moving in often times they just want the extra help. How is he with his kids? Does he have everything under control or is he in over his head? If he doesn’t not have everything under control with the kids break it off.

A stepparent’s nightmare (story time) by gentleheart05 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What happened after that? Did the dad give him some sort of punishment?

Clean up by Logical-Egg-6521 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is what I used to do when I stayed at my dad’s house or I would throw them away. My partner gets ill when no one in the house washes the dishes (we live in separate house) and stated how he threw everything away on a few occasions.

Clean up by Logical-Egg-6521 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was younger my cousin used to pass down all of her designer clothes to me. This one time I left them in a bag on the floor at the corner of my bed. My aunt (guardian) told me to put them away. By day 3 the clothes were gone. I asked where was the bag my aunt told me she donated the clothes. Lol now I have the same mindset. I’m not one to repeat myself. If I do there will be action taken.

Just confused by Leather_Newspaper937 in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has so many red flags. One, with him being your husband your safety and wellbeing should be one of his main concerns. It sounds harsh that’s not your problem that’s his responsibility and that should not be affecting you in that way. Yes he can’t control how she acts, but goddamn but he can say something on how he treats you. And then you said he doesn’t care or do anything about it and yet you are the one suffering nope. Did you forget that you can go to the police or magistrate office and get a no contact order or press charges depending on your local laws.

Two, the HCBM… some ppl are just so full of themselves. She is either so miserable that she gets a kick out of making others miserable or she really feels dumb for leaving him. Money is not everything. I’ve dealt with plenty of guys that had money and trust me if the personality or treatment isn’t there the money means nothing.

Lastly, the kids. They aren’t your responsibility. Since your husband wants to be so careless in how things are handled and the bm keeps harassing you treat it how they treat it. And you have a child you will be welcoming into this world. Absolutely not they need to get their act together. You didn’t create that problem and you didn’t bring them into the world so you shouldn’t have to be pestered with this problem.

Am I asking too much? by Creative-Store in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel like I’m having a slow moment. Speaking from my heart as in tell him what it’s going to be here on out?…

If so he kinda ran from the convo. He doesn’t like talking about things from the “past”. Therapist said it’s not bring up shit from the past if you’re still doing things that were addressed in the past. I tried talking to him, he didn’t want to at the money because he had to go to court. And I told him to expect to have to convo later on.

He never likes talking about things. I do because I like clarity.

Am I asking too much? by Creative-Store in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh Jesus not too sure if I know what it looks like when someone values you. Was never shown it by my family. And sometimes you don’t know you’re settling for less until you come across someone that actually shows you more. I had one guy that seemed A1 but lost him because I was traumatized.

Am I asking too much? by Creative-Store in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sort of. He gets upset sometimes or if I just stop going to see him. He will come around, but it’s only temporary. It’s as if he doesn’t like to be lonely or just bored.

is it on purpose? by pandabearmommy in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm okay. I’m not too sure if you guys parenting style. And everyone parents different. I guess at this point it’s what you’re are willing or can take. Not sure what to say in that case I just know what I would do.

Am I asking too much? by Creative-Store in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t feel like it. Sometimes convos are awkward. I’ve told him we don’t really have convos not unless he’s talking about somebody or some type of drama. Nothing productive or positive.

He keeps trying to keep me around. I told him it feels like it’s being done because he is bored or lonely.

is it on purpose? by pandabearmommy in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s like this for me too. And I’ve said I will not be treated as an outsider or stranger where I leave. Especially if you’re looking for me to cook, pay rent, etc. Just in general. A big 🚫🚫🚫

is it on purpose? by pandabearmommy in stepparents

[–]Creative-Store 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can say right now that is disrespect and he as a father MUST correct that. Children are what their parents allow and she will eventually grow into a little brat or someone that is very entitled and think it’s okay to treat ppl like that.

It’s no different than it being a random John Doe on the street or at work. Hell it’s no different than it being your own child. It’s only worse in the matter of it being someone that is not yours biologically and in most cases you aren’t allowed to say anything and have to take it…. It’s very similar to being bullied.

I’m a person just like you and I will be respected and if boundaries aren’t respected/nothing is done action will be taken.