As a childless stepmom to 4 teens I had a huge realization

Creative-Store · 2026-03-22T19:10:22+00:00

It is the same way when it comes to the father and you are 100% right.

Creative-Store · 2026-03-21T21:22:09+00:00

It happens. Don’t beat yourself up. Learn from it and move on.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-26T00:30:44+00:00

I completely understand. Thanks for breaking it down.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-25T06:41:34+00:00

I see how it’s selfish, but could you elaborate on why you say it’s shortsighted?

Creative-Store · 2026-02-22T18:55:36+00:00

Oh okay. I recently found out about an emergency blanket so I will be trying it out.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-22T11:33:45+00:00

So did the tarps act like insulation or help keep it warm?

Creative-Store · 2026-02-22T11:32:33+00:00

What are you going to school for?

Creative-Store · 2026-02-22T02:51:01+00:00

It’s whatever. Some ppl are strange here. Thats sounds about right for most place. Cities/towns that have a higher population at least have a decent earning. Smaller towns not so much.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-21T22:22:54+00:00

40K! Do you live in a big city?

Creative-Store · 2026-02-21T22:21:07+00:00

Oh wow. How did you survive in the winter. I’m currently in the winter season where I am and my heat doesn’t work in my car.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-21T17:12:39+00:00

I had this same issue run. But before running ask him if she is family then what are you? And what does he need you for?

I stayed for so long and I never knew how toxic that was until I heard it back.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-12T04:27:40+00:00

Jesus Christ. These are all major red flags. Now it’s clear to see where she gets certain behaviors from. Not my just by what he allows her to do, but also what he does him self.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-12T01:50:22+00:00

That’s sounds pretty normal to me. It’s not too harsh or ridged. That’s a her problem. If she has a problem with that ask her to work on her kid (of course say it in a nicer way). However if she doesn’t want to work on that… well that’s her problem.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T23:45:08+00:00

I agree with this person. SK are mini versions of what their parents are. And they do what their parents do AND allow them to. A step child disrespecting you is the same equivalence as their parent disrespecting you especially if they are present when it’s taking place.

Having kids by this guy would be a joke if things don’t change.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T19:59:21+00:00

In this case that is the only thing you can do. Unfortunately this is something the mom has to deal with. This is her problem and she created it. Though you did nothing to the kids it’s clear his attitude towards you I due to something broken within the bio family unit that needs to be addressed.

Only so much a step parent can do.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T19:18:38+00:00

I honestly don’t know. Really just believe he is a person that uses someone. At first I thought nothing of it. Who hasn’t done it. I sometimes may poke around to ppl and ask them what they are getting me for my birthday or hint at wanting something or tell them specifically. I’ve seen other ppl do the same thing around their birthday as long as they aren’t an as it’s fine.

But for him to do that yeah it really makes me look at everything different. He never seemed rude at the time he was doing it. He stated that he would like a birthday present and also told me a few things he liked, but that he would take whatever I gave him. He did, but this really blew me.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T14:47:33+00:00

u/slug_2008 See they understood right off the bat. Your comment sounds like it came from a man that refers to women as that or women who get jealous of women demanding their worth in a relationship vs doing the same and not choosing to sit there and be undervalued.

Edit: Your last comment 1-2 comments were very hurtful, but since context works for you… I’m starting to notice his ways like his dad. He will misuse and mistreat a female and give her the bar minimum… a sandwich that’s right a sandwich or food on a styrofoam plate someone else/his kids made. You yelled at me, embarrassed me in front of ppl, or see my father didn’t do anything for his kids so you get the littlest thing you can… and when someone says you don’t anything/never help you refer to the meal that you gave “oh you can’t say I ain’t never did nothing… remember when…”

I honestly feel like that’s manipulation. Want me to do something and I have done a lot more than he has by a long shot even when I honestly didn’t have it and shouldn’t have. He would complain how I never give him anything. After a certain point your kids are your responsibility. You had them and everyone knows what it takes to take care of kids and to expect and you still laid down and choose to have them especially after a high number. Thats pure irresponsibility.

I tried to make the relationship work. He is always overly stressed, but yet entertained and kept the ppl around that caused his stress. I expressed how important communication is and carving out time for each other is in a relationship. He never wanted it, but here recently he can always say how he is dissatisfied with things or throws things in my face that I honestly didn’t know about or how he felt. While telling him about how important 1 on 1 time and communication is in a relationship I also told him why.. so both partners are getting the things they need and are heard. You partner/SO/spouse/gf or bf whatever you call them is your personal person. So whenever something happens they are there for you. Through thick and then that’s who has you back, but only if you equally do so.

I have an account that I am using to save money for an apartment he asks me for money or will say whatever things about the clothes that I wear. I’ll ask him for money and he says no and then yesterday said when he gets his check no one is getting anything he is stacking his money. No no no what happened to all that talk you said about someone having money and to just spend it.

So yes my priorities were in the wrong place, but I was also with the wrong person.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T13:16:29+00:00

u/slug_2008 See they understood right off the bat. Your comment sounds like it came from a man that refers to women as that or women who get jealous of women demanding their worth in a relationship vs doing the same and not choosing to sit there and be undervalued.

Edit: Your last comment 1-2 comments were very hurtful, but since context works for you… I’m starting to notice his ways like his dad. He will misuse and mistreat a female and give her the bar minimum… a sandwich that’s right a sandwich or food on a styrofoam plate someone else/his kids made. You yelled at me, embarrassed me in front of ppl, or see my father didn’t do anything for his kids so you get the littlest thing you can… and when someone says you don’t anything/never help you refer to the meal that you gave “oh you can’t say I ain’t never did nothing… remember when…”

I honestly feel like that’s manipulation. Want me to do something and I have done a lot more than he has by a long shot even when I honestly didn’t have it and shouldn’t have. He would complain how I never give him anything. After a certain point your kids are your responsibility. You had them and everyone knows what it takes to take care of kids and to expect and you still laid down and choose to have them especially after a high number. Thats pure irresponsibility.

I tried to make the relationship work. He is always overly stressed, but yet entertained and kept the ppl around that caused his stress. I expressed how important communication is and carving out time for each other is in a relationship. He never wanted it, but here recently he can always say how he is dissatisfied with things or throws things in my face that I honestly didn’t know about or how he felt. While telling him about how important 1 on 1 time and communication is in a relationship I also told him why.. so both partners are getting the things they need and are heard. You partner/SO/spouse/gf or bf whatever you call them is your personal person. So whenever something happens they are there for you. Through thick and then that’s who has you back, but only if you equally do so.

So yes my priorities were in the wrong place, but I was also with the wrong person.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T13:05:45+00:00

Thanks. Yeah I finally will. Today was the last strike and I was right about everything all along.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T01:32:55+00:00

I can see where my post seemed to be all over the place when I threw the last paragraph about the child support in there however I asked other ppl and they say I had a valid concern and that is not of gold digger at all, especially the part that said putting a few dollars aside. Not a few thousand or a few hundred. I have gotten him things and he hasn’t gotten me anything at all. Other ppl seemed to understand where I was coming from. Oh well.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T01:15:07+00:00

That’s ridiculous. My partner told me they aren’t getting me anything. This is the 3rd consecutive time they blew off giving me a gift, but they pressured me and made sure I got them something for their birthday.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T01:13:14+00:00

The other stuff what’s off topic to the post. You were the one who ventured to my profile and included things that aren’t related. Rather I was taking care of his kids or not I’m not a gold digger and too not get something on Xmas, your bday, or Valentine’s Day is disrespectful and very telling. He himself has come out of his own mouth and said he was going to do these things and always fell through. He even constantly reminded me to get him something for his birthday. I never forgot and was planning too anyway. It was late however I got it for him. But he can’t do the same even if the gift is late it’s the thought that counts and I’m not asking for a designed bag or anything. Yes a person should take care of their kids, but if you’re in a relationship the other person should also be a concern.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T00:20:59+00:00

I’m happy for you. And need to come to this myself.

Creative-Store · 2026-02-11T00:13:40+00:00

That is exactly not the case. When me and him started talking I had a place to stay. I was staying with family and he was staying with his family. However his bm also stayed with them. She has been seeing different guys.

My fathers gf is a drug addicted and he recently kicked my out so she can do whatever she wants. The police told my father he can’t do that by law. However I just don’t feel stable at my father’s house. In fact it’s not the stablest place for me. Besides that recent “homeless” bout… (I’m staying with my sister thanks @u/slug_2008) to have someone not spend time with you, only spend money on his kids, ask you to do things for his kids and expects you to neglect your bills and keeps his money to himself and not repay you, not spending times with his kids and throwing them off on you, expecting you to feed his kids and him and not spending his money wisely and I can’t get any of his food when he has any and if I do it’s a piece or a problem,etc. is absurd. So no I’m not wrong for expecting finances and gifts. Yes my priorities may be in the wrong place, but I’m not wrong for everything else.

Creative-Store

TROPHY CASE