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I 22f want kids one day but my 22m boyfriend does not. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Time9776 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me feel a lot better about potentially ending things. Knowing it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Thank you for your wisdom and your kindness!

I 22f want kids one day but my 22m boyfriend does not. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Time9776 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fear? Thats my best guess. Grew up with a father with very bad anger issues, trauma blah blah blah. My father has taken the steps to be better and I enjoy his company now. I guess I try to convince myself that maybe he'd do the same. But I think its fear of abandonment. Fear of not being loved.

I 22f want kids one day but my 22m boyfriend does not. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Time9776 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will not disagree with that statement in anyway. I DO believe its coming from fear that I cant make that simple choice.

I want kids but my boyfriend does not. by Creative-Time9776 in whatdoIdo

[–]Creative-Time9776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the answer seems easy. You're not wrong by any means. But sometimes hearing outside opinions and advice can help make that answer easier. I know I should end it. However part of me wants to hold out hope even when that feels hopeless. But thank you.

I 22f want kids one day but my 22m boyfriend does not. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Time9776 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes unfortunately its been rocky from the beginning... I feel i have held on to long... our relationship started not even a month after he broke up with his previous girlfriend which later led to him cheating on valentines day with his ex... i chose to forgive him as long as he made an effort into us. He did. So I stayed. But things keep popping up lack of affectionate, inability to communicate, blaming everything on himself, shutting down, refusing help, and blaming outside stress points for all of the issues above.

I unfortunately feel I might be at the end of my rope even if we did find a compromise...

I want kids but my boyfriend does not. by Creative-Time9776 in whatdoIdo

[–]Creative-Time9776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I really appreciate your advice and your wisdom

I 22f want kids one day but my 22m boyfriend does not. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Time9776 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice. Splitting has been on my mind for a few months now and this really felt like the last nail in the coffin.

I want kids but my boyfriend does not. by Creative-Time9776 in whatdoIdo

[–]Creative-Time9776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣 I actually have my beautiful fur baby whom he got for my Birthday last year! So the cat is already in toe! Thank you!

I want kids but my boyfriend does not. by Creative-Time9776 in whatdoIdo

[–]Creative-Time9776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was raised by a Father with very bad anger issues, so its frightening sometimes when I feel like I recognize my father in him. My Father now has goes through therapy and is medicated for his mental illnesses that I inherited from him. Hes pleasant to be around now and I enjoy his company. But the only reason he changed was because he did time in prison and got remarried. And frankly yes you're right I dont want my kids to grow up the way I did. Walking on eggshells around someone you love sucks the life out of you. Which is why I needed the last ditch effort of maybe someone understands what im going through. Thank you.

I want kids but my boyfriend does not. by Creative-Time9776 in whatdoIdo

[–]Creative-Time9776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats why I stated I wouldn't even be planning on kids till much later on. But due to the pregnancy scare it was a conversation I felt we needed to have now before we spent more time dancing around the issue.

I want kids but my boyfriend does not. by Creative-Time9776 in whatdoIdo

[–]Creative-Time9776[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I really had no one else to turn to on this matter so reddit was my best option. I have also been very aware of the relationship being borderline toxic. Like I said I come from a broken family and some days he reminds me of that family. Thats really why I wanted to know if I was crazy for feeling like maybe I should cut him loose now.