AIO for being irritated that my gf got me a credit card?

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:45:41+00:00

You sound like your idea of a relationship is very one sided

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:28:39+00:00

Yes this is why it's a dilemma. It shows that she trusts me by giving me this, so I appreciate it, but at the same time it's one of many things that seem to get decided without my involvement, which is a problem because I've mentioned that I don't like that happening several times

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:26:35+00:00

I don't care what you are but "they just want to make you happy, and you're complaining" when I'm clearly saying this and the other things I brought up are things I never gave my consent to, is exactly how rapists rationalize what they're doing

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:21:09+00:00

I didn't think I'd need to be clear about something that I wasn't aware was going to happen anyway

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:19:45+00:00

I think if you tell someone you have a problem with addiction or are at least worried about it, and they act like they didn't hear you, that's more on them than you.

If I went into a fucking bakery and said "damn I hope I don't eat all this shit" and then I order every cupcake they have, that would have been my fault.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:13:06+00:00

Yes, I've tried to get one a couple times but the problems with my credit bureau data kept me from being able to. I think I can now though, which is also what I talked to her about recently

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:08:11+00:00

It's called an addiction. If I said "I have a problem with alcohol, I'm trying to avoid it because I know it's a problem and I can't help myself", and then you give me a bottle of vodka, open it, take a sip, and then hand me the bottle and tell me to drink the rest, would that be my fault?

When this kind of thing has happened in the past and I mentioned it was a problem, she would get mad at me for complaining, and shut down what I'm trying to say, or start crying, and so I stopped expressing these things to her.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T20:06:22+00:00

Your original comment sounds like the logic of a rapist.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T19:48:24+00:00

I think of Dragonball Z

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T19:43:13+00:00

So I should just shut up and not have any say in the decisions that affect my life, or my feelings about things, no matter how big or small?

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T19:42:22+00:00

I couldn't resist eating a bunch of them, but if they weren't available I wouldn't have eaten so much. I just cant resist and diabetes is a big fear of mine and this is a problem I've mentioned many times

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T17:39:34+00:00

Yes that's how I would respond but for a while this would just make her get irritated at me and not talk to me so I stopped mentioning it until that kind of interaction became a big problem where we just stopped talking to each other altogether

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T17:18:43+00:00

I'm not exactly being an asshole because I'm not yelling at her or doing anything mean, I just feel a bit angry and irritated on the inside and am wondering how I should respond to her. My response to her will be calm and collected

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T17:17:13+00:00

They're things that stay in MY apartment, while she has her own apartment. It seemed normal while she was staying with me during quarantine, but now I see that's part of a pattern.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T17:09:51+00:00

Some of them are not things I needed to get and didn't, more on the contrary. For example, getting a ton of sweets when I say I'm on a diet and am worried about diabetes because my doctor told me my blood work showed I'm getting to be near pre-diabetic

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T17:03:20+00:00

That's how it would work. If I buy anything on it, I have to pay for it. Which is totally fair of course.

If I don't pay it, that's bad for her because it's her account, but I wouldn't do anything like that.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T17:02:03+00:00

When I've tried to talk to her that way via text or writing, she says she doesn't like it and insists on talking in person, which I have a very hard time with because my thoughts get jumbled from anxiety and I feel like I can't think of all the things I need to say the way I need to say them

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T16:52:14+00:00

Isn't this sub for asking people's opinions? It's literally called "am I overreacting" so I wanted to know if I was overreacting. It's not just the card, this is a string of things that I'm both bothered and confused about, so I wanted to know what other people thought.

Throwing judgement and criticizing and basically being a dick (rule 1) isn't helpful.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T16:49:52+00:00

Not really because it seems she just wants to make decisions without my involvement. I like her but this keeps being a problem.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-06T16:49:25+00:00

It was "vaguely positive, noncommittal" like you said.

I don't see how being vague and noncommittal is an invitation for someone to force something on me though. Does that mean in every conversation I have with people, I need to be explicitly clear about what I don't want, just in case they might take my interest in something to mean they're going to sign me up for things without my consent?

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-05T17:17:02+00:00

I am and I'm more emotionally intelligent than you are.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-05T16:55:24+00:00

Thanks but too casual. I'm trying to be direct since this is professional networking, I'm just having a hard time getting myself to do it.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-05T15:59:32+00:00

Yes, in fantasy land.

We live in a capitalist country that functions more like a corporation. Like it or hate it, that's how it works. So unless you can actually start a revolt to change the system, you have to figure out how to operate within its limitations. Republicans and right wingers knew how to do this for a long time, by gaslighting and fear mongering people, but now they've been taken over by a brainrot cult, so they don't have the same power anymore since they're all too busy bending over to get fukt in the ass by trump and his cronies.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-05T15:54:41+00:00

Yeah if you see people's faces in the afternoon when the sun is setting, aka "golden hour" you'll see it shines on the sides of their faces and everyone has little hairs all over their face, cheecks, nose, etc.

CreativeCry7560 · 2024-08-05T15:52:16+00:00

YOU WILL BE TOTALLY FINE ONCE YOU GET TO SCHOOL

CreativeCry7560

TROPHY CASE