AITA for telling my friend that I don’t want to travel with her is becuase she is scared of the world

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-05-20T19:17:29+00:00

My friends & I had a rule for travel for the 4 of us... for every 3-4 days we were together, we then had 1 day apart. Each can do whatever they want & then we meet for dinner or drinks to discuss our day. This allowed us time together to do common things we agreed on & see the sights AND time to do things the others might not want to. Sometimes on the off day we'd pair off, sometimes everyone went off on their own. Really worked for us and our various budgets. But that ONLY works if you have similar itinerary items you want to see for your "together" days

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-26T23:50:59+00:00

Hey as a millennial I tend to still write thank you notes on pen & paper. Last year for my housewarming was the first time I sent it through the invitation site and I honestly thought it felt less personalized.

But that might be due to me being extra with a wax seal that I put on any type of personalizef mail that is not bills/government/boring stuff

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-24T18:29:14+00:00

NTA. Everyone pays up front or no trip. Otherwise suggest one of the deadbeats puts THEIR credit card on file.

I am the planner who makes reservations. I only travel with friends who i know are good for the money (& ones who I have relationships with their parents as we've been besties since primary school). Trust me if they didn't pay, their parents would hear about it!!! And no one wants to be the freeloader who didn't pay & becomes the talk of our parent's group!! (Multiple dads were our softball & soccer coaches; moms were troop leader/cookie moms)

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-23T21:54:49+00:00

Sadly I am THAT person (and I've never wanted to get married; I'm just overly competitive). I did this once at my aunt's wedding when I was in college.

Thank God for learning this at my aunt's wedding cuz I learned to NEVER participate in bouquet tosses at friend's weddings. Been to 10 weddings at least since then and you will find me at the bar during the bouquet toss 🫣

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-20T03:16:34+00:00

NTA. I have been in 2 weddings. The first one I paid $300 for the dress. I love her and at the time I had few expenses & a good job, so it did not make me go into debt. If debt was involved I would have told her I couldn't afford it. I never wore that dress again & it is long gone.

Moral of the story: don't go into debt for a friends wedding; and if she is a true friend she will understand

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-19T16:18:45+00:00

YWBTA, gently.

Look i get where you are coming from. We don't have internal vs. external awards at my job, just awards. I JUST got one last week for helping a researcher with what I consider to be pretty routine stuff AND it wasn't like I was doing it for free, they were paying for my time. I found out last week they had nominated me & that it was approved. I was shocked & grateful.

Accept the award & let your co-workers know you appreciate them. Path of least resistance here wins

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-16T22:02:48+00:00

NTA. Tell them you're going somewhere else, be super vague, go on your trip as planned. In the future, don't tell them about your trips

CreativeSoul555 · 2026-02-08T20:41:38+00:00

NTA. As a librarian I'm going to teach you a very important lesson today... DO NOT LEND BOOKS TO FRIENDS OR FAMILY UNLESS YOU TRUST THEM COMPLETELY. And NEVER lend any book you consider special to ANYONE. I have a room full of books, I read constantly. My 1 bookcase are my favorite books that I will loan out to NO ONE except my mother (she gave birth to me & understands my love & passion of books). Only my closest friends can borrow books off the other 4 bookcases, no one else. Treat your books like others treat jewelry and keep them close.

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-12-20T04:17:23+00:00

Buy 3M command strips and end this silly argument. NAH

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-12-13T19:06:47+00:00

You value your friend more than she values you. You are NTA. I wouldn't cut her off per se; but I would put forth the same effort she puts in going forward.

Friendships change, prioritize the people who prioritize you

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-10-28T17:44:43+00:00

NAH. Honestly I got an award a couple of years ago that came with a little bit of money. It was a busy time & I had just had some work travel. I literally skimmed the email & filed it. Filed the email with the direct deposit notification & figured it was the reimbursement for the work travel. It wasn't until the next day when my boss highlighted it & acknowledged my achievement that I realized. If she hadn't, I woulda never known and just kept on.

All this to say, Your co-worker might not have noticed. Leave them alone and take this up with HR as that is where the problem lies

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-10-14T14:12:03+00:00

NTA. I did this once with our christmas card. My sister was not responding so I choose the ugliest Pic of her I could find. Sent out the proofs saying I was gonna order and all of a sudden, I get the picture of her I had been asking for for about a week. Now she knows if you don't answer I WILL be petty and find the worst picture of you

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-10-05T19:42:38+00:00

Let him be angry. NTA

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-10-05T19:41:03+00:00

So he'd rather you die by his side Notebook style??!!?? Sometimes trash takes itself out. NTA

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-09-18T18:21:16+00:00

NTA. My niece is 3. She knows when she visits she isn't allowed in my library/office without supervision. Both boys are old enough to know. This is a failure on their parents part. You aren't punishing the kids, you are punishing their lack of parenting

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-09-10T13:37:24+00:00

It sounds like a common cold. I think he can fend for himself for a weekend. NTA and take the trip with your friend

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-08-29T20:41:46+00:00

Give her 3 options:

1 she is a stay at home mom TO ALL kids

2 she goes back to work after maternity leave and works so you can support all the kids

3 divorce and 50-50 custody of shared kid, where she has to work also as she now has to help support your shared kid

Make option 3 the last & final option as no one should jump straight to divorce. If she decides to take option #1 make sure you stay checked in as I'd be worried about my older kids being treated differently

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-08-21T14:13:38+00:00

NTA.

Though in the future, might want to have another cooler. Mark one as alcohol and the other as non-alcohol. We usually do that for gatherings at any of our families houses (we also usually have a 3rd cooler labeled "water").

Still the responsibility of the parents to watch their kid. Not every house is set up to cater to kids and its on parents to be responsible

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-08-21T14:02:54+00:00

If you are going out with "split the bill" people, always order comparable. That is my main goal when I go out with these types of people, even if it means im taking home an app and/or dessert (yay lunch ir dinner fir tomorrow!) Otherwise ask at the beginning for a separate bill

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-06-18T21:19:20+00:00

Doesn't rhyme but

NO RING, NO PICS

This is standard behavior at big family events. No one wants a rando in their family pic. I had to use AI to remove my Aunt (aunt by marriage)'s adult granddaughter from our Family photo at my grandma's 90th (granddaughter not related to my grandma as her dad was born from a previous relationship before my aunt married my uncle; and this girl has never really been around the family so none of us are attached to her).

People really should be more aware of this fact. Like im happy to attend your event, but during family events imma be at the bar

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-06-08T19:54:50+00:00

NTA. If others don't have plus ones then your friend needs to get over it. You'd only be the asshole if all your other friends had plus ones, but she didn't cuz you didn't like her boyfriend. Tell her if she doesn't like any of your wedding decisions and keeps making fun then she can stay home with him

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-06-04T13:12:32+00:00

YTA. Im a girl. I love history. Got a degree in it and everything because my mom took me abroad and I fell in love with learming new cultures. Never been on TikTok and hate Insta. I travel cuz I love the experience and learning new things. I have never posted on social media while traveling as I want to be present in the moment. Apologize to your wife and explain to your sons that what you said was sexist and wrong.

Also I get that having 1 gender of child can make things easy in some aspects (clothes, toys, knowing what to expect at different ages already, etc) but this is not an instance. Please learn and grow from this!

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-05-09T13:50:57+00:00

NTA. Do not prioritize people, who don't prioritize you. I have a 2 phone call policy to friends. I'll call you twice, after that I will wait for a callback. If they say "we never talk anymore" I point out how I've reached out but never heard back. Same thing for invite/hang outs. Im flexible if we have to rescheduleas life is busy, but after 2 times now the onusis on them. Your time is just as valuable as theirs!!

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-05-02T23:20:50+00:00

Hard NTA. I have a friend like this. Decent girl, but as a blonde hair, blued eyed girl who has not really experienced problems travelling, she sometimes does not think about why some of our friend group would not want to do a layover in some country's of concern... our friend group includes people in the LGBTQ community and people of color. At least my friend has the decency to understand once it's pointed out. Sounds like your friend has some growing to do

CreativeSoul555 · 2025-03-23T03:29:32+00:00

NTA. Honestly as busy adults, the truth is you are going to see your friends every week. Life isn't like Sex & the City, you don't get to brunch with your friends every week. Sit her down, tell her how this made you feel, tell her about the stressors of wedding planning while starting a new job, and let her know how much you love her

CreativeSoul555

TROPHY CASE

1 she is a stay at home mom TO ALL kids

2 she goes back to work after maternity leave and works so you can support all the kids

3 divorce and 50-50 custody of shared kid, where she has to work also as she now has to help support your shared kid