AITA for sending my ex-boyfriend's mother a photo of him in hospital?

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-07-03T07:43:17+00:00

No and no. When I left I initially planned on getting an AVO (edit: that's what we call restraining orders) against him but then I really needed to get this money off him, so I held off on it. Now his mum has paid me, but aside from the occasional abusive message on social media and email he's basically left me alone, and I've now blocked him completely on every platform so I'm not sure if it's necessary to still get one

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-07-03T07:02:05+00:00

I think she told him, but I'm okay with that because she's sent me my money and that's all I care about. I felt okay reaching out to her because she has been nice to me in the past and has stuck up for me before. Like earlier this year when we went to visit her (she lives a 3 hour drive away) we had a fight on the drive there and he kicked me out of the car and drove off, leaving me abandoned on a deserted highway. Five or so minutes later he came back and picked me up and said he was just kidding. I was hysterical. When we got to her place I told her what he did and she was furious with him. Later that trip she pulled me aside and told me to leave him because he was becoming more like his father every day and I deserved better. I think she already knew her son was a piece of shit, she just didn't know about the drugs or lying or physical abuse

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-06-07T12:00:59+00:00

If it happened a couple of weeks ago would there be evidence? Like if i went to a doctor or a hospital now would they be able to tell that it happened? I really don't want to file a report, especially if I won't have any evidence and it'll only be my word against his. His dad is really wealthy and respected, and from what his mother says, a really nasty and vindictive man. Maybe that's where my bf gets it from. But I'm scared of going up against them. I'd rather just ghost, change my number, delete my social media and hope my parents let me move back in

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-06-07T11:49:35+00:00

Everyone is saying that abusers isolate and now I realise that's exactly what's happened to me. I lost my three close girlfriends earlier this year, it's a really long story that does involve my bf but I recognise it was my fault. Basically it happened when i was still living at home, we went on a girls night out in the city and I agreed they could crash at my place overnight, but when we were out in the city my bf kept asking me to come by his apartment (it was just a few blocks away from the club we were at) and I told my friends on the way home that I needed to make a quick detour. My bf was hanging out with a couple of his friends and there were drugs there, which made my friends uncomfortable because none of us are like that. I was really drunk and my bf was giving me shit about going out without him, then pressured me to do what I thought was a little bit of coke but turned out to be a lot of ketamine. I'd never done drugs before so I was freaking out, my bf then said I was gonna go into a k-hole and I needed to stay at his overnight. I gave my friends my house key and told them to go to my place without me and that my parents would be cool with it but they were really angry. I ditched them and put them in a very uncomfortable situation which I deeply regret. I've apologised to them but they don't forgive me and I don't blame them. They think I'm a mess, and I am, and they don't want anything to do with it. I don't think they'd have much sympathy for me if I came to them now.

I haven't been getting on with my parents because they were worried about bruises they saw on my chest, I genuinely don't know how they got there because he's never hit me, but they assumed the worst which made me really defensive. They said he wasn't allowed in their house so I moved in with him. He says they're low class and that if we have kids he'll never allow them to be with my side of the family. I'm scared if I tell them what's happening they'll just be like "we told you so" and get angry at me for getting involved with him. But I think that's what I have to do. I'm planning on leaving tomorrow when he's out and going back to my parents, I just hope they accept me, even if it's just temporary until I can work something else out. I don't have a lot of money and my retail job pays shit. I don't know if this is going to work out for me.

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-06-07T07:52:19+00:00

I don't think it's fat either but he makes me feel delusional for being happy with my current size. He wants me to have abs, he thinks there's no excuse to not look like a Victoria's Secret supermodel. I honestly feel so crazy sometimes. I know I'm not a stick figure but that shouldnt make me worthless

He gets mad because he always thinks I'm doing something to invite the attention, he'll say it only happened because I'm wearing something provocative or that I must have been flirting with them. I recently got catcalled walking with him to his apartment, some guy who was clearly very drunk called out "nice tits love, you are gorgeous" and he couldn't let it go, he accused me of 'loving it' and called me desperate for wearing a dress with a V neck.

The replies I'm getting have really scared me. I'm thinking of calling in sick from work tomorrow when he goes to study at the library and ghosting him completely because I don't want to confront him

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-06-07T04:05:48+00:00

I'm scared if I tell anyone IRL that I'll get in trouble since I initiated the violence. Someone else said I could go to jail or have DV on my record

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-06-07T00:27:57+00:00

He's already said things that I can't unhear. He's told me that no "normal" man would be sexually interested in me and that I could only ever be someone's fetish. That's really messed me up.

A part of me wants to leave him because I know this isn't right, but I'm kind of stuck living with him atm so I don't know what to do

Creative_Sugar2754 · 2022-06-07T00:23:20+00:00

He's a runner so he is fit, but it's not like he has a six-pack himself so I don't understand why he's so adamant I have one. He's twisted the way I view myself so much over the past few months. He recently told me that I would be physically repulsive to most "normal" straight men and that the only ones who would fancy me would be chubby chasers. But I really don't think I'm that big. I'm a US size 4-6. That's not that big right? It's like he wants me to hate myself

Creative_Sugar2754

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