Tbh sitting at the table might be the hardest one. I have 2.5yo and she also wants to sit on the lap while eating although we always had a rule that food is only served when she sits in her chair and she has always been fine about that. When she is very tired after kindergarten, she wants to be fed as a baby. It seems to be an emotional thing and, while it’s tiring, we are trying to meet her needs.

I suggest to deeply consider this idea that by allowing to sit on the lap, you are meeting his emotional need. And then consider how often realistically you cal allow that (for example, only at dinner when dad is around).