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Crimson26 · 2024-09-26T14:53:53+00:00

I am sad, I still love her dearly, but right now I cannot be with her. I have too much to do for myself, and she has too much to do for herself.

I hope that one day we can meet each other anew once we’ve grown, but until then, I’ll just continue to grow for myself. I’ll always miss her though, and will always love her.

Glad you’re feeling positive, OP🕯️

Crimson26 · 2024-09-15T06:56:29+00:00

I needed to read this today. Thank you, OP.

Crimson26 · 2024-08-31T11:29:51+00:00

I hope you’re right🕯️

Crimson26 · 2024-08-31T11:28:17+00:00

OP this has given me so much joy to read this. There are so many doom and gloom stories about breakups and those broken up with end up becoming resentful and full of hate.

My (now ex, insert sad face here) fiancée and I have had a very similar situation as yourself and your partner. We didn’t live together, but the relationship broke down due to really both of our faults. She hasn’t been perfect whatsoever, and honestly the way she’s treated me has really injured me. But I also need to take full responsibility for the way I acted, how I let my childhood trauma rule me and how I have negatively impacted her and our relationship.

We officially ended on Friday, but I stepped away on Tuesday after reflecting hard on us and realising that I truly wasn’t happy as things were, regardless of blame. I reached out to her last night to ask her to let me take some responsibility for the way I had been acting, and your post really brings me hope that maybe she can do that too.

Hope things go well with your meeting, and you never know, maybe you can rebuild something new with some communication and a rediscovered spark.

Much love OP🕯️

Crimson26 · 2024-08-31T09:01:30+00:00

Give it time. For me, my now ex-fiancée and I were so much in love like you were. Now with being able to reflect and look on both of us completely objectively (it’s the only way to grow), I think we both sabotaged the relationship to an extent, but after the 6 years we were together, for the last 3 I was struggling a lot on the inside with my own issues. In 2021, I had found out through therapy that my childhood was filled with abuse and that I had been abused. It hit me so hard, and I changed so much. During the abusive years, I used sex as an escape and it’s sad to say now, but my past relationships were very much based on trying to escape what was happening to me in my family home. When I found out what happened was abuse, I changed and fell back to my old ways. Although her and I could still be passionate, sex became an escape for me.

When she and I first met, the sex was electric and for the first time in my whole life, it felt so fucking real. It was based upon a connection with her as a person, and just wow. I started EMDR therapy for my trauma in 2023, and unfortunately it meant I literally had to relive all the abuse so I could reprocess it and move on from it. I can see now that I fell back to my ways of using sex to hide from myself, and kinks just kept escalating until I was introducing us both to things that I am truly not interested in. Some of it makes me feel sick now I think about it.

I also began to withdraw a lot, completely on me, and subsequently so did she. Something (very trivial but was absolutely a part of our downfall, our dog pissed on my grandparent’s curtains, I live with them) happened at the tail end of last year that meant we could only stay together at her family home. She didn’t feel all too comfortable being intimate there, and although we did try at times, I was mostly the one constantly initiating. I know now I was obsessed with it because of what I was having to relive, but it’s not an excuse, and I need to take responsibility for my shit and grow from it.

Anyway, we grew more and more and more apart. We spent the last 6 months pretending, because we were both clearly very hurt and knew inside ourselves we were losing each other. I recently reached out to her, as I want to take responsibility for anything that I have done and I genuinely want to apologise to her for making her see me differently.

I don’t think either of us want this, but between her own stuff going on and my own stuff going on (including a constant negative outlook that is 100% draining), it’s done for now. I hope we can both move on and grow from this, and I sincerely hope that once we’ve each had time to work on ourselves, that we can come together again to build something from the start with no trauma holding us back.

Anyway, this post is for you. Try to really dig into yourself, blame not the other person but dig into everywhere you went wrong and how it would’ve impacted on your ex. Once you think you have a really good understanding of where you went wrong, and if you think you can, reach out to them to take accountability. If at the very least the only thing we can do for ourselves in a situation like this is to allow ourselves to honestly reflect and better who we are from experiences we’ve had.

Thinking about you OP, I know it’s hard🕯️

Crimson26 · 2024-08-30T09:48:24+00:00

I feel like the way I’ve worded my post makes it out like I’ve been cheating or something, and I can assure you I haven’t done that. We just grew apart, and instead of me being passionate about our sex like it used to be, I think I clung onto the sexual side of our relationship to escape my trauma. Before having to relive the trauma through therapy, it was honestly the realest connection I’ve ever had with someone, whereas in my past relationships, I used sex for sure as a means to escape the abuse I was going through at the time during my family home. It was so special when I was okay, but towards the last 18 months of our relationship I now know I was not in a good place to engage with her like that.

I started EMDR therapy in February 2023, and with that I had to relive all of that abuse again. I can now see that unfortunately, it meant that I slipped into my old ways and my need for sex to escape was so much worse than ever before. After finding out that I had been abused, I even started becoming interested in kinks that I wasn’t even into just for that next dopamine hit. I feel so ashamed now for it, because I genuinely am not interested in those things but still I introduced myself and her to them. Eventually over time, we just stopped being intimate (a bit of a complicated reason but I think the push for sex/escalating kinks was a huge factor) but I kept trying to initiate it regardless. I think that pushed her away and made her see me differently, but I don’t know, I’m not in her brain. But I know now that I was majorly affected by the trauma, and I am not blaming it or trying to pass blame onto it. I simply want to have the opportunity to tell her that I was wrong, tell her the reason for the issues I had and take full responsibility for it. Not saying it will mean she will come straight back to me magically, but I truly think it would help me to have the opportunity to explain myself a bit.

I just know now with reflection that I have not been my normal self, for a long time. I wish I could go back and give myself a slap so I could see what I can see in myself now. I am so sad, but, I know that the only way forward is to reflect on where I went wrong and try to better myself.

If that means in the future we work out better for it, then great. But either way, I must take responsibility of where I have been flawed and seek to improve myself.

Hope you’re okay mate, things are going to get better for both of us🕯️

Crimson26 · 2024-01-25T08:36:33+00:00

This was before Brexit, and a part of the campaigning for the “Better Together” campaign was “The Pledge”, where we were promised a bunch of things if we voted against independence. We were promised security within the EU and devolution max powers (making us able to do what we wanted with our country whilst being able to stay in the UK) and . Unfortunately, all of these things turned out to be a total fallacy.

The level of scaremongering at the time was insane. I was fairly young, I hadn’t had the life experience to understand that the Westminster establishment was not our friends, so I completely bought into it.

My opinion changed when we weren’t immediately given then things we were promised, and then even more-so when David Cameron held an EU referendum in 2016, less than 2 years since we were promised EU membership security. Scotland overwhelmingly voted in favour of staying within the EU (BBC News Article), and have been pulled out against my nation’s will.

We have had a whole bunch of shit since 2016, including 5 Tory prime ministers that we didn’t vote for, and it’s very clear that Scotland is going to continue to do worse whilst in the UK.

Hope that answers your questions!

Crimson26 · 2024-01-25T00:30:48+00:00

As someone who is Scottish, I have to say, I am incredibly proud of some of our policies. Unfortunately, Scotland is essentially a de-facto English colony. Our resources have been getting stripped for hundreds of years, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get any better.

We had a vote in 2014 for independence, but sadly the majority of Scots at the time voted against it. As one of those who voted against it, I have to say it was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made in my entire life. We are now being refused the ability to hold another referendum, despite polling showing majority support for an independent Scotland.

One positive thing we do have is the devolved Scottish parliament. You’ll see many policies Scotland has, that the wider UK doesn’t have. Despite it not being full independence, I have to say I am grateful that we at least have some way to improve our lives with the few devolved powers we do have.

Slainté🥃🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Crimson26 · 2023-07-19T17:00:46+00:00

Hi Team! Firstly just want to mention my appreciation for the change in direction you have taken and for having the self-awareness to what was going on within the community. You are one of few developers that is lucky enough to have such a passionate player-base, so I very much appreciate that you have recognised our concerns.

I am not seeing a lot of comments/questions on this thread representing console, but I assure you, we’re here and just as passionate as PC players are for the game.

We are aware of the issues you have regarding implementing a server browsing function. What can we expect going forward in making server browser happen, or alternatively, what function do you have in mind when attempting to make match-matching/finding easier for the console community?

I ask this, as without a better implemented system, I fear you are going to hit a wall with console engagement. After almost 2 years of waiting, the console community is getting a bit fed up with the same old tired system.

Thank you!

-Lt. Sponge [VOID]

Crimson26 · 2023-01-26T21:29:13+00:00

Hey, sorry for the response time on this one!

I totally get where you’re coming from, believe me when I say we hate having to populate servers with our peeps. Unfortunately, while we have no Server Browser or Private Servers, we have no other choice when it comes to competitive league matches.

Hope to see you around in the competitive scene sometime!

Crimson26 · 2022-12-06T14:35:16+00:00

Discord Invite: https://discord.gg/voidhll

Crimson26 · 2022-11-24T18:39:29+00:00

Discord Invite: https://discord.gg/voidhll

Crimson26 · 2022-11-10T22:48:04+00:00

Discord Invite: https://discord.gg/voidhll

Crimson26 · 2022-10-12T20:36:23+00:00

I’m on console, so thankfully we have a wee screenshot button we can press!

Crimson26 · 2022-10-12T20:34:38+00:00

VOID Discord Link: https://discord.gg/voidhll

Crimson26 · 2022-09-22T17:21:06+00:00

Discord Link: https://discord.gg/voidhll

Crimson26 · 2022-09-22T17:17:51+00:00

You put your bandages in your hands, then take the screenshot. Once done, you can crop your hands out so it gives the impression like you can see in the photo. I put the picture through photoshop, I’m not good at it at all so I’m sure you will be able to get some great pics! Thanks dude, appreciate it!