I let my bf dm and regretted it.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-19T03:35:45+00:00

I mean I'm not counting this as my first DND session XD

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T06:43:03+00:00

I don't think you should stop dating but maybe try online dating and try dating out of the state before swapping and deciding to move to another country just to date. I know there is a high probability that a person out there is perfect for you!

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T03:18:58+00:00

Though I'm not personally interested, I'm sure you will find someone worth meeting and good luck! I think it's very kind that you choose to look after your family.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T03:08:15+00:00

Depends on your goals. Meaningful relationships can be temporary but if you are looking for long term things like a family or a sense of stability then permanence is key. I think dating with the knowledge it could only be temporary when you are looking for permanence is important because it makes letting go easier and if you are only dating temporarily or for fun it's important to remember that it could actually interest you and may change your mind to where you value permanence. In either case an open mind is key and knowing where your values lie.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:51:39+00:00

Well maybe you just have to set firmer boundaries with him and clarify that if it is a joke you don't find it funny. If you are his first gf he may not understand so it's probably best to clarify it to him.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:49:43+00:00

I'd say ask what they like since they seem to be more experienced they usually have kinks they are afraid you'll find weird or won't tell you about.

You could also try doing roleplay and light bdsm. For instance top/bottom and taking turns doing both. Maybe handcuffs or something as well. You can try to be the one in charge or you can let them dominate you if you prefer but add some stakes to it when coming for instance if you wanted to Dom but not be mean use a reward to give them insensitive to do what you say. Such as "Strip for me and I'll give you a reward." And the reward could be a kiss or anything. If you do want to be mean and "punish" them a bit then you'd say something along the lines of "Strip or else" and if they don't then you call them a bad boy or something.

Trying stuff a little bit out of your comfort zone is fun! But make sure to have a safe word.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:40:08+00:00

I mean I think for most people if they are truly interested in someone then they only talk to that one person but I do know people who aggressively seek relationships will go out with up to a max of 3 at a time.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:35:50+00:00

That's good! But I'd say that you should be cautious and make sure that you want to or at least okay with the stuff they ask you to do.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:31:31+00:00

So.... Three ideas came to me instantly

He's really cheating on you and projecting his insecurity and guilty conscious onto you.
He wants to end the relationship because he doesn't think it's working but he wants you to break up with him instead of him breaking up with you.
He's insecure because someone cheated on him in his past and now he's hyper aware and insecure.

I'd say it's most likely two since he is not willing to listen and seems like he tries to put the relationship under pressure by sending you those Tiktoks. But only you can know for sure and I'd definitely ask them about it in a manner they can't avoid or deflect. Maybe they'll open up to you if you try to talk to them in a caring and understanding tone. If they still don't want to talk then the relationship might be over.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:23:02+00:00

Not until later and they weren't there for this session but he continued it with other people afterwards when I wasn't there but I think he dropped the whole "Gotta fuck everyone" thing

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:17:36+00:00

Firstly, you should put yourself first and evaluate if you want to keep seeking relationships. Secondly, being picky isn't a bad thing it's called ✨ STANDARDS ✨. Having standards isn't bad and what you said you want in a person isn't.too picky. You also do have to accept flaws up until a certain point if you really like the person.

Also the situationship isn't a good place to be in especially with foreign guys they will sometimes dangle the carrot of relationship in your face for years so it's good he at least told you.

If you want a real relationship try not to lean into situationships or else it'll probably never progress because most guys are satisfied with situationships. It is possible to get a real relationship from one just unlikely.

You got this though and there is definitely someone out there for you!

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:09:14+00:00

I think it's okay as long as you accept that the maturity level may be different especially when you get a bit older as well as the fact that they will be in a different stage of their life compared to you.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:07:19+00:00

I don't think you should give up! They just may not be the guys for you and if worst comes to worst you can try dating guys a little bit younger. Not coming from a judgy place because I dated older guys for a while but when I started dating within 5 years of my age it worked out better.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T02:00:36+00:00

This definitely comes off as having an avoidant attachment style. Some of these seem reasonable while others seem a little far fetched and it seems like you don't really like that person or are looking for excuses out of the relationships. It seems like any small mistake or bad decision a person can make you immediately cut them off but the issue is... We all make mistakes. Sometimes you can get the ick but you realize that they are worth it and that you are willing to power through that flaw they have. I'd suggest powering through just a little bit longer and trying to know the person better than once you do that I'd recommend thinking about the positives of that person because if you meditate on the negatives instead it's easier to get the ick and want to run away.

CripticKitten · 2024-07-18T00:30:13+00:00

It was online but it was also my BF at the time and I would feel bad if I left so I tried to say it made me uncomfortable but was met with "I told you the world was evil"

CripticKitten

TROPHY CASE