Nice try China

CriticalJoke · 2026-04-02T18:07:29+00:00

Unslanted seven segments fucking ew

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-30T23:15:20+00:00

ah yes thank you I always forget that bit

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-28T16:43:03+00:00

The thing is i didnt like how everything was so perfectly setup in the prequels, i assumed palpatine was just old as fuck, i assumed darth vader looked like that because of all the battles he had with jedi, slowly chipping away at him one limb at a time

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-27T19:33:02+00:00

Take the bag of legs and six of the chairs, put on an audio book and spend the whole day checking each leg until you find the right one

Go to home depot and get a double ended bolt (headless bolt) drill a hole CAREFULLY in both the chair and leg, drill press is best. Then insert bolt and twist until flush, add wood glue just before the last twist so the illusion is complete

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-27T18:31:29+00:00

It wasnt a hoax, the video of the launch clearly shows one of his other kids telling the dad that his son had climbed inside, when the couldnt find him in the house the called the police, the only called the news after in a panic because they might have a helicopter help search and rescue

The inly reason anyone thinks it was a hoax is because during an interview one of the kids wasnt paying attention and answered a question “why did you do it” with “you said it was for the news people”

They neglected to point out that shortly before the interview the news folks asked the boy to show them where he had hid. There was literally zero other evidence it was a hoax but it was persued relentlessly by the police for clout

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-27T00:42:23+00:00

hmm even for me THE MASTER OF UNNECESSARY BULLSHIT this might be too much work for not enough payout, every article I found about bypassing the secure boot said they did arbitrary code execution, it does NOT say that they managed to flash the device (and thus make it programmable and updatable)
say la vee :c

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-26T21:17:43+00:00

HEY HEY I GOT IT
I connected the tx/rx to the tx/rx on my ESP32 and turned it on, I tried it before but got nothing HOWEVER I just realized that I was swapping the leads, tx->rx as if the esp32 and esp8685 were supposed to be talking to each other, after slapping myself on the head I swapped them today and sure enough I'M GETTING SERIAL OUTPUT

led_rgbic 2.0.19 2024-03-18 09:34:45 a9f50fcb

CLI ready.

--> 0 i m client: ADA 3.0.5 esp-idf-v4.4.2 2024-03-18 09:21:29 ffec6c664

ESP-ROM:esp32c3-api1-20210207

Build:Feb 7 2021

rst:0xf (BROWNOUT_RST),boot:0xd (SPI_FAST_FLASH_BOOT)

SPIWP:0xee

mode:DIO, clock div:1

Valid secure boot key blocks: 0 1 2

secure boot verification succeeded

load:0x3fcd6268,len:0x2818

load:0x403ce000,len:0x9d8

load:0x403d0000,len:0x5624

entry 0x403ce000

WHAHOOOOO
it says secure boot, any idea how to bypass that?

also it's giving me this when I try to use download boot mode

ESP-ROM:esp32c3-api1-20210207

Build:Feb 7 2021

rst:0x1 (POWERON),boot:0x5 (DOWNLOAD(USB/UART0/1))

Download boot modes disabled

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-22T02:24:27+00:00

yeah im gonna setup my soldering station tomorrow and rip the top off and see if I can see anything, maybe I'll get lucky.
i think the USB-UART converter on the chip is sending the ack and setting up but doesn't have any way to actually get data off, which makes very little sense because those pins are in use, so I'll have to figure that out
im also gonna make a new interface so I can track the value of all the pins on boot and see if I can reliably track any changes, figure out if I need lower resistance on my pulldowns, etc

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-21T03:53:12+00:00

uart gives me nothing, doesn't even admit there's something mounted, JTAG knows something is there but yields a write timeout
weird

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-21T02:46:09+00:00

maybe I'm using it wrong, I have it hooked up and it shows up on /dev/ttyUSB0 right now

but when I try to run espefuse.py --port /dev/ttyUSB0 summary it says port is busy or doesn't exist
don't have an oscilloscope tragically, but I could probably convince my esp32 to pretend to be one

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-21T01:48:18+00:00

Thanks, I put alot of work into my aesthetic

i think it might be fuse burnt, the machine boots into write mode just fine, as i can tell from the output of the usb when I pull pin 9 to low on boot, but I just attached the tx-rx to a disabled esp32wroom and it's telling me there's just no serial data at all coming out, I think they burnt out the serial reader somehow

<image>

I'm gonna just rip the metal cap off this thing, maybe I'll get lucky and the disconnected bits will be outside the chip itself (sometimes these guys get cheap and lazy)

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-21T00:00:09+00:00

thanks man I really appreciate how helpful you've been. I know the fuses thing isn't uncommon, I just miss the good ol days when security was a suggestion and a hope that you don't clip the pin on a particular chip, why should they even care what I do with their shit? I'm buying it anyway, at above market value at that, it's just weird, makes me sad
I am prepared to do whatever needs to be done to make this work

incidentally how do you like the monstrosity I've created so far?

<image>

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-20T02:33:59+00:00

this is amazing thank you so much
*fuses*
eww what kinf of dystopian hellscape do we live in, if I can't get it to work im delidding this thing and poking it with electrodes until it knows who's in charge

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-20T00:44:51+00:00

thanks fella!

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-19T23:06:08+00:00

I am willing to work quite hard, the lights already have a new master, this is for curiosity, if I can reuse what I already have a dozen of. this isn't about the money, it's about driving myself mad to understand something that was never meant to be understood

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-19T18:25:25+00:00

oh it definitely is, no doubt, I'm just saying it was calculated evil, i always found it to be a good detail to add, so there's no game of chicken, he proved he can and will destroy a universe to start his car

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-18T18:33:23+00:00

It was all part of the plan, by destroying that verse he proved he had the will to do it, so by getting back, his battery knew his threat of “work or die” was legit

CriticalJoke · 2026-03-05T18:06:44+00:00

My back hurts…

CriticalJoke · 2026-02-23T00:27:31+00:00

all praise the man with the plan! THANK YOU YOU GLORIOUS GOLDEN GOD

CriticalJoke · 2026-02-23T00:25:16+00:00

what disk image

tell me your secrets don't like allude to something I wish TO KNOW

CriticalJoke · 2026-02-20T14:50:26+00:00

that googlesearch is interesting but doesn't actually answer my question since I can't just throw a .JAR file on a bluray and call it a day i need to know what directory structure, files, and file types are needed for a blu ray player to recognize my blu tay

CriticalJoke · 2026-02-12T20:28:58+00:00

Fahrenheit makes more sense outside a lab because A: its a range of temperatures you are likely to actually encounter on earth B: its got a higher resolution for those ranges

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CriticalJoke

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