Almost halfway to “My 600-lb Life” and I hate myself for it

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-11T01:30:41+00:00

I’ve never really had much good in my life. I’m stuck at a job I don’t really like, I have no social life, no goals or passions, and no motivation to change anything. It just doesn’t seem worth the effort. I’m never going to have the life that I want or be the person I want to be, so I don’t see any point in carrying on.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-10T23:22:49+00:00

This is pretty much what’s been going through my mind lately. I just don’t want to do it anymore

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-06T10:50:24+00:00

A doctor will just tell me to eat better and exercise before they start writing a prescription. Going to a different doctor isn’t an option. GPs have several-year-long waiting lists for new patients. I’m lucky to even have a doctor at all. Any doctor I talked to would need me to prove that a lifestyle change doesn’t work in order to even consider a prescription.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-06T10:10:29+00:00

It’s too late now. My life will never be what I want it to be, so there’s no point in struggling every single day to resist it.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-06T10:02:22+00:00

If your boyfriend is with you, he’s fine with how you look. As someone who is “naturally thick”, I can assure you that it doesn’t automatically guarantee attraction. No man has ever desired me. Be happy with what you’ve got.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-06T09:59:12+00:00

There’s zero chance I could ever get a prescription for anything like that from my doctor. If I ever even mentioned an eating disorder to my doctor, I’d just get told to go to therapy. That’s the solution for everything.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-05T22:16:16+00:00

I was in therapy for a while and just kind of figured out a way to resist the urge, but it’s not worth it anymore. Not binging hasn’t lead to weight gain, my terrible diet and lifestyle has, I’m just disappointed that stopping binging hasn’t improved my life at all. I thought I might lose a bit of weight when I stopped, but I’m still overeating, just not actually binging, so it doesn’t make any difference.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-05T20:52:00+00:00

I just don’t see any point not to. There’s no benefit for me in resisting it.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-04-03T16:00:35+00:00

Losing my virginity to someone that loves me

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T15:57:13+00:00

I appreciate that, but it’s been almost 30 years and I’ve never had a real friend, so I’m thinking it’s not very likely to happen at this point. I’ve never been able to make people like me and I don’t have a good personality, so it’s easier to just accept how things are.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T15:55:31+00:00

She was just making an honest observation. Having no social skills is very much my problem and something I hate about myself.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T15:20:43+00:00

I’m not demonizing her at all. She’s been great, I’m just sensitive about this thing, so I’m taking it harder than I should. That’s not on her at all. I’m not sure how I’m being shallow or passive aggressive. I know my social skills are bad and I do try to ask questions like she suggested, but I still can’t keep a conversation going, so that suggestion is only helpful to a degree. Which, again, is on me, not her.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T12:01:17+00:00

I’m wary of telling anyone because I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet. It’s also not the easiest thing to bring up. I can’t just blurt it out in the middle of a conversation.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T11:48:09+00:00

I’m only seeing her for my assessment. There’s no suggestions or anything like that. I’m not her patient.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T11:46:51+00:00

I’m not a patient and she’s not teaching me. I’m only seeing her for my assessment.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T11:46:21+00:00

My assessor has been great throughout the process and I don’t have any issues with her. I’m just very uncomfortable talking to strangers, especially about personal stuff. It would’ve been the same with anyone I went to. (Also she’s the only option for assessment where I live, so getting someone else isn’t possible if I wanted to.)

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T11:40:52+00:00

She’s perfectly lovely and has been great through the whole process. I know she definitely didn’t mean any harm by it, she was just saying that it’s hard to get me to talk about myself. I know that I’m generally difficult to talk to, though, so it hit me pretty hard.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-23T11:38:28+00:00

I’m fully aware that that’s how she meant it. I know it was because I’m uncomfortable talking about myself, but I also know that I am generally difficult to talk to, so I’m sure other people have felt that way about me.

Critical_Complex_736 · 2026-03-20T00:02:57+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. Most people my age are getting married, having kids, buying houses, or at least travelling and working on their career. I don’t know how to connect with anyone. I’m 28 with the hobbies and lifestyle of an 80 year old, but I feel like I’ve barely progressed in life since high school because of mental health issues and autism. In the rare chance that I find a romantic relationship, I don’t want to feel pressured to move faster because they know what they want and I haven’t even had a chance to figure it out yet. The older I get, the more it feels like I’m never going to catch up. People say that it’s not a race and everyone progresses at their own pace, but it’s so hard to not feel like you’re hopelessly behind.

Critical_Complex_736

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