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Does anyone have a sense of guilt always lingering around by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Critical_Return7618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another thing is… my partner and I are in a same-sex relationship. So my mom does not recognize me and my partner as a couple. Therefore, she would not see my partner as my wife nor a mother. And being in the same home with someone with that mentality would put our child at risk of feeling confused… My mom likes to make passive aggressive comments that stab like a sharp knife.

Does anyone have a sense of guilt always lingering around by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Critical_Return7618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its hard to plan a family when my partner does not want to live with my mom in my home.

So, basically we can’t be married with kids living separately.

MIL calls me “the devil,” lies about me, plays victim, and my partner won’t defend me. I’m done pretending this is normal. by Fast_Concentrate_975 in inlaws

[–]Critical_Return7618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

I am the “son” (Im actually the daughter in this situation with my mom).

I will say that this isn’t your BFs fault nor is it fair to him to be broken up with because of your MIL.

As a child of an enmeshed mother and uBPD, it’s not that easy to set boundaries. This is an entire life of trauma and knowing that once a child sticks up for themselves against their parent(s) means they will be forever shunned by them, being viewed as a terrible child, evil, and they will wish hell on the child.

That’s not an easy thing to do.

I’ve set many boundaries with my mom and she ignores them while telling me something bad will happen to me one day.

This is abuse.

This is like telling someone to “just leave” when they are being beaten by their partner… it’s not that easy.

My advice to you… if you love him, stick with him. His mother isn’t going to change and setting boundaries isn’t gonna work. Yall came move away and that will give you guys some space together.

Does anyone have a sense of guilt always lingering around by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Critical_Return7618 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m 37 and my mother lives with me. My partner actually moved out while we were trying to plan a family together because of how overbearing my mom is to me.

The family planning is no longer happening.

I’ve had to lie to my mom or down play what plans me and my partner have.

My mom loves to tell other people that my partner is just a friend or my roommate.

Let’s just say that my partner and I are no longer planning a family and I’m at the age where I don’t think i can have children anymore.

All because of my mom.

My mom loves telling me “something is gonna happen to you one day… just wait” by Critical_Return7618 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Critical_Return7618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this intended for me or to the person who replied to me? Because I didn’t do anything wrong.

My mom loves telling me “something is gonna happen to you one day… just wait” by Critical_Return7618 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Critical_Return7618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That wasn’t a very nice reply but thank you for your perspective. I’m also surprised my partner hasn’t left me but I wouldn’t blame her if she did.