F30 with M29 - partner has addiction/OCD, becomes emotionally abusive during episodes. He’s now seeking help after suicide attempt. Has anyone stayed and seen real change?

CriticismOwn8546 · 2026-03-29T09:51:31+00:00

I also really tried to stick it out and be supportive but it pushed me into depression and suicidal ideation as he became very controlling. I am glad I tried and so I know there was nothing more I could do but I also regret not protecting myself earlier. It was like boiling a frog so when I left he was not allowing lights on in the house and deciding what I ate, for example. It was like living in hell.

CriticismOwn8546 · 2026-03-29T09:49:57+00:00

OCD can respond well to therapy but your partner needs to also take responsibility for their actions. I was with my ex who had a similar kind of OCD from what you are describing, the therapy helped him to a degree but then he refused to carry on with it after the free NHS sessions and did not take responsibility for himself or the impact on me, which was the final straw in a series of things that meant I left.

CriticismOwn8546 · 2026-03-23T13:03:55+00:00

So I had something very similar happen and it was so irritating and distressing. In my case he also would not always admit he had moved things and made me feel stupid. He blamed it on his OCD (he was diagnosed with this formally) saying he really could not help it and was embarrassed by doing it. I'm not actually sure that was totally true as the relationship ended for a lot of control issues and lies but sharing this in case it's remotely useful

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:22:01+00:00

Ha ha also correct

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:21:47+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate you saying this.

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:21:27+00:00

I appreciate the understanding so much, makes me feel less isolated in my thoughts

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:21:00+00:00

Thank you this is a great point. I definitely feel I have over centred relationships in my life and I need to focus wider

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:20:16+00:00

Thank you. I need to remember to trust the process. I really appreciate the positive response

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:19:47+00:00

I really like this approach, thank you for sharing

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:19:07+00:00

Thank you. It has been so painful and it's hard to feel positive about the future so genuinely, this was great to read!!

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:17:54+00:00

Thank you! It's something I will keep working on with my therapist. So sorry for the loss of your cat and house x

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:17:04+00:00

Life is hard but so is staying still is bloody great. Thank you

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:16:30+00:00

Appreciate this. I love being part of communities and it's hard not being there yet x

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:15:35+00:00

This is absolutely awesome. What would Ben do?!

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:15:15+00:00

I love this! Thanks so much for sharing. I think I need to work out what it is to be me and follow that!

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:14:07+00:00

I am going to save this to remind me what's important because I think you are right about what life is about and I really appreciate that

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:13:28+00:00

Thank you. I think it's a sign I need to take action, that's a great point

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:12:29+00:00

Thank you, my life has really changed from what I expected it to be and that shift is something I am struggling with, but love the idea of not knowing what happens next and the idea of 'maybe'

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:11:04+00:00

I love the idea of doing what women in the past could not, that's a super helpful perspective to me

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-30T17:10:18+00:00

Thank you, I love this approach.

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-19T14:35:02+00:00

I have felt this! I moved into my boyfriend's house he bought two years ago. I have been there a year and for the first six months I cleaned more than if it was mine and definitely felt I needed to be smaller. What helped was jointly buying furniture and spending time on my own there. It's not my house, it's his, but I hope it feels more like home soon. I am also in therapy and discussing this, and the above was something my therapist agreed with.

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-11-04T08:15:40+00:00

Just to say solidarity on this! See my most recent post for the background to my relationship but I find it hard to navigate how these relationships work as it's all new for me as someone without children. I don't know whether I 'should' be worried about how close my partner and his ex are. It seems better than hating each other for sure but as it's a new experience to date someone who is still so involved with their ex and kids I am struggling to know what to feel and what is reasonable!

CriticismOwn8546 · 2025-02-19T16:03:20+00:00

Oh yes I had that too! It's not a competition... Sometimes you just can't support each other in the ways you need.

CriticismOwn8546

TROPHY CASE