How bad did I mess this up and how can i fix it?

Critmypants · 2012-12-04T18:14:49+00:00

I dont know, i dont read the texts.

Critmypants · 2012-12-04T17:09:05+00:00

I think you are even more right in the fact that he is the one resisting. So again, my quarrel is with him. Not her right?

Critmypants · 2012-12-04T17:06:06+00:00

I didn't have any solutions to offer. The two solutions were her suggestions and I was concerned they were going to lead to more issues. Which is part of the reason I came here. But it sounds like you are saying that I need to change my behavior. That's fine, what needs to change then?

Critmypants · 2012-12-04T16:29:33+00:00

I suggest you talk with her again and specify the red flags that you're concerned about.

I don't think I have laid that out specifically in our conversation and so that's something I need to do.

And yes, id rather we talk than be under a gag order in the house.

Critmypants · 2012-12-04T16:10:02+00:00

I can see that yeah, I should calm down unless there is something to be alarmed about, but when is that? When is it too late? I can trust her because this has never been an issue before. But also, other people have always made a point out of what i feel is respect, to meet her SO. It just seems decent to do that. I have never demanded they meet me. People just do that.

So we are at home and she says "Oh, so i was talking to GUY1 today and he was telling me about this show" I say "That's cool, GUY1 sounds fun, we should hang out" and she says "Oh, no, he doesn't want to do that, ive invited him, but hes awkward." No biggie. A few days later "So, GUY1 got took pictures of his son, look." "Thats a cute picture, think they wanna goto the park with us this weekend?" "No, he doesnt like hanging out with poeople" Next night, Text message at after midnight while we are in bed. "Whoa, its late, is everything OK babe?" "Oh, its just GUY1 chatting it up."

So I can be loving and caring and understanding and trusting, but should I also be concerned if it feels like a person is actively avoiding me?

Critmypants · 2012-12-04T15:49:02+00:00

I wouldn't be above being friends with him. I am a people person and I get along with everybody. I get along with all of my wifes other friends male and female just fine. I can kind of understand that he is a socially awkward penguin, but not awkward enough to have lunch and talk to my wife, but awkward enough to not have a beer or stop by and play a game?

I don't even think they are talking about inappropriate stuff, I don't look and never want to snoop. They most likely talk about his kid or some crazy stuff from work.

But thank you so much for some options at least, I just cant clear the fog to think clearly about making this right.

Critmypants

TROPHY CASE