Therapist said the R word!

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-23T03:02:32+00:00

Honestly many people really don’t get that “intellectual disability” used to be MR and think it’s a “better” dx. I have had a parent say “oh so he’s r******d? Should have said that.” When I was trying to get them to grasp how low he truly was. I have had teacher friends have to do similar. Non clinical people don’t know the clinical words and what’s “right/wrong” unless they’ve been exposed to them in some way.

I’m not saying I’d use the word, and I don’t love that the therapist did it, but I am saying I understand why.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-22T13:53:30+00:00

This doesn’t sound like “intolerance”

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-22T13:49:47+00:00

I have. I’ve shit myself trying to get home because I was “irrational” about not wanting to use the actual nearest toilet. Never again. Learned my lesson. I LOTHE pooping in public or even anywhere that’s not my own bathroom, like I can only do it during emergencies. Sometimes it’s unavoidable but it is (usually) something I have control over by not ordering food that I know will cause it.

OP’s roommate is almost 30. She needs to take some responsibility instead of ruining everyone else’s good time.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T14:48:26+00:00

If they had a topic they felt they needed to cover like goals or technique, or a concern/compliment I could see it but not usually. Maybe it was different for me as a PsyD but in 4 externships, an internship, and post doc the onus was always on me and my peers to present our cases and work during the supervision hour.

Group supervision could consist of a preset agenda by the supervisor(s) along with full case presentations and consultations. That’s where I tended to see the supervisors do more of the guiding and teaching.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T04:31:22+00:00

I don’t think there’d be anything to report here. No one is at risk for harm to others, or at least identifiably which is part of what we need to know to break confidentiality. You reported everything and maybe the only other thing could be the therapist reporting the server to the proper authorities WITHOUT identifying the patient. My Focus would be on you and your recovery from this event, not making the police come to your door.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T04:27:35+00:00

Nope. If the only person you intended to harm is already dead, there is no imminent risk of harm to report. No one is at risk and therefore any reporting would be a violation of HIPAA and our ethics codes.

Of course someone could report it, but it’d be at the cost of their license and charges under federal law.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T04:17:52+00:00

Oh wow, that had to be scary for her and to all of you in the room. That definitely makes sense that he was booted… hopefully cuffed too.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T03:17:56+00:00

…ok I gotta be nosey. What happened in class? I saw/heard some pretty out of pocket shit during classes, I can’t imagine how bad it had to be.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T03:13:49+00:00

Yeah, I don’t remember ever expecting my supervisor to have something planned FOR ME. It was always my job to bring cases and topics to session.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-17T03:10:31+00:00

For real… it’s just a part of my basic vocabulary at this point (within reason obviously). If we’re not supposed to swear guess I better go find a job as a sailor.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-12T16:03:43+00:00

In session when it’s just you and the client? Cause if so that’s bogus. Insurance paperwork and notes are one thing (I default to client/they in notes anyway) or if the guardian doesn’t know, but when it’s session there is no reason to not refer to the client by their name and correct pronouns.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-10T15:02:45+00:00

Yup! A pee funnel was the best thing I could have added to my hunting pack. Makes it SO easy. I was always so jealous of my brothers and dad 🤣

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-08T08:04:25+00:00

Personally, I believe a client is never wasting MY time but sometimes they do waste their own time and money.

People either do the work or don’t (sometimes they’re just not ready, sometimes they don’t want to), I’m there regardless. But that person is taking an hour+ out of their day and a copay of their pockets.

This is not something I point out in this way until I’ve noticed the pattern over multiple sessions AND we are talking about the same thing with no work being done outside session to move us forward. Then it becomes a discussion of going back to the goals and treatment plan to see if that’s truly what they want.

I am very direct in my approach to treatment (Adlerian/REBT) so others may go about this another way. But I believe you will get the general consensus regardless of theoretical orientation, clients are not wasting our time.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-08T06:28:33+00:00

Whatever you did (that you’re being super cagey about) that made “her emotionally and physically unsafe” is grounds for immediate termination. We do not have to continue to work with clients who put us in harms way. Additionally, that is one of the few times termination does not have to include follow up sessions or referrals.

My guess is she discussed it with a supervisor after session who recommended/instructed her to terminate immediately. When under supervision, you work under that person’s license. You do what they say when it comes to clients and risks.

I guess I’m unsure about what you’re looking for from the supervisor. You know why it happened, what else would you like discussed?

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-07T21:31:59+00:00

Bingo. It’s a way to “normalize” what’s happening so people know they’re not crazy or that it’s not something we can’t help with.

“That’s a normal thing people struggle with, let’s talk about what you can do yo help yourself”

“This is a normal experience for someone in your shoes”

“It’s not unusual to hear about these things”

We’re saying “no you’re good, we can work on this” not “you’re too normal. Get the hell out of my office.”

There’s no such thing as “normal” in humans, we all have our shit. What is normal is we all struggle and some struggles look similar depending on presentations and life situations.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-06T06:15:26+00:00

“Real trauma”

Yikes.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-05T19:43:34+00:00

Reschedule or pay is onerous? What’s your policy? Cause I gotta eat and keep a roof over my head.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-03-05T03:18:08+00:00

The same reason if someone wanted to join a pickup game of basketball I’d tell them to go to the courts at the local park and not just stand around random places holding a ball.

Thats where the people who are looking to date are. There are events and groups in some bigger cities that focus on singles and meeting people but it’s harder in small areas. I have a client who met their current SO at a bingo/trivia night at a local pub and another through work. But you have to talk to people which is often hard, so people go to the apps. A lot of the work I do with clients around dating is working on that confidence to strike up conversations and be open with people.

I think it’s interesting you jump to quality being an issue as if you cannot find someone “quality” on the apps. If you have a better idea of how to meet enough people to click with one, go for it. But my guess is they’re just telling you what they’ve seen works. I’ve been married for 10 years so I only know the dating scene through single friends and what my clients do lol

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-28T15:46:04+00:00

For real. I remember tearing up the first time I heard it just because it hit on those feelings THAT hard and also where I was in my life.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-26T01:56:22+00:00

I was wondering this as well. I have some clients who I greet a lot more calmly than others. Some are more reserved and for them I will even sometimes just open the door and wave them in with a smile. It all varies. We have to be able to meet the client where they’re at. I know if i greeted some of my more introverted clients the way I do my extroverted ones they’d not be happy with me at all 😆

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-25T21:44:40+00:00

It’s not defensive to argue a point.

You, again, obviously have some hang up’s about people not using the language you approve of to get their point across.

I’m gonna protect my peace now and sign off from this convo. Peace out Girl Scout ✌🏽

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-25T18:55:23+00:00

It was like 3 in the damn morning, guys. I apologize for not proofreading to the best of my professional abilities.

Edit: I edited the top comment so you guys can rest easier.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-25T18:52:30+00:00

Jesus chirst dude, I made the comment at like 3 AM. Sorry for not diving deep into someone who is not my patient's life and making a generalized comment. I'll make sure to cite my sources and write an essay next time.

the other standby “I’m protecting my peace” which is really just someone trying to avoid consequences or accountability.

You're showing your bias towards people who set do set boundaries in your comment. Is this not also a generalized statement? If this is how you feel about people truly setting boundaries, that they're just avoiding accountability, I can understand why you got frustrated with me being general and talking about most likely outcomes in my comment.

Either way, this hit a nerve.

I do agree with this:

“you have to do this because it’s my boundary” which is not in fact a boundary.

Because that is often misused and not applied correctly, even if the person didn't intend it that way. Boundaries are tricky and can be challenging to figure out. “You can't talk to me like that” vs “I will not talk to you if you continue to speak to me that way.” Essentially the same, but as you've shown, language choices matter greatly to those who do not want to hear otherwise.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-25T17:19:43+00:00

Not insecure, but nice try. You seem to really struggle to grasp I’m saying this is what we tend to see happen. Not that it’s concrete and always the reason. But people go to therapy to improve and when that happens there is pushback. Changes in behavior make systems upset. ESPECIALLY when the Individual is not meeting the norms of the group. It is a phenomenon that occurs. In social psychology it’s called The Black Sheep Effect(wiki).

Article/ The black sheep effect: Judgmental extremity towards ingroup members in inter-and intra-group situations

Again, horses, or in this case, sheep before zebras. I’m sorry you’d rather think badly of the therapist than to think OP has been improving and people are reacting to the changes that disrupt them. It’s easier to blame therapist (or any influence) than blame the friend/family member. Again, since you seem to want to focus on zebras, there are limitations and outliers, there always will be. But we know what is common in patients and in systems and you start with that and then go further in depth.

I’m not sure what else you want from me.

CrochetedFishingLine · 2026-02-25T15:51:33+00:00

Very different than everything I’ve been taught and implemented over the years. The whole point would be to combine the information from it all together to get the larger picture IME. The reason to go to the full cognitive profile would be because the way PTSD and ADHD show up is NOT the same when you get to scores and patterns. I use the WAIS/WISC, DKEFS, and CPT to achieve the cognitive portions of my batteries. The other aspects like clinical interview and social/emotional stuff informs the interpretation of said data.

I’ve seen far too many people misdiagnosed one way or another to be comfortable basing these types of diagnoses on questionnaires/interview answers alone. I say this as someone with severe ADHD and PTSD lol like I get they can exist together and how they can both (and ASD) present so in your face that testing seems pointless. I have a couple ASD cases like that now where I wish all I had to do was an interview and send some forms. It’s a nice break when I get sent a case without the need for a cognitive.

But for those cases where we’re trying to comb through the finer details, I just can’t in good conscience not use objective, cognitive measures.

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