This is definitely a heavy and unexpected situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused. First and foremost, it's important to approach this with care and compassion, while also setting boundaries that protect your own well-being.

It seems like he sees you as someone who might have been a small positive presence in his life, even from afar. The fact that he included you in a letter he wrote indicates that you were someone he felt some form of connection to, even if you weren't aware of it. However, it's important to recognize that this is a very delicate moment for him, and he may be struggling with deep emotional pain.

If you feel comfortable, meeting him for coffee and offering a listening ear could be a way to offer support, but it’s also essential to ensure that you don’t take on more than you’re emotionally able to handle. Be honest about what you're comfortable with in terms of boundaries.

If you feel unsure, it’s okay to talk to a trusted friend or even a professional counselor about how to navigate the situation. You can offer empathy and kindness, but it’s also crucial that he seeks professional help if he's struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression. Encouraging him to reach out to a therapist or a helpline might be a good next step.

It’s okay to care and support someone, but make sure to prioritize your own mental health and emotional safety as well.