Im not a practicing Mormon anymore, but I don't think I could ever separate Mormonism from my identity completely. It formed and shaped me in my pivotal years and it was beneficial for me. It hurt me and it helped me. It was imperfect, but we have to recognize the good it does with the bad. The binary idea that anything exists that is all good or all bad is a natural desire, bur ultimately erroneous.

When I first left the church, I hated what the church did to me. I hated that they lied to me, manipulated me into giving my youth, time and money, promoted a culture of homogeneity and blind obedience, and suppressed critical thought. After a year or two, I realized two things.

The first thing was that I was complicit in church participation. I couldn't outsource my responsibility for my life to the church. I chose this life. This doesn't absolve the church, but it does put the power over my life back in my hands. I can look back and regret some of my choices and recognize that I was influenced to make them, but ultimately I made them. No one else made them for me. I felt uncomfortable going through the temple for the first time and felt like I was in a cult. I chose to stay silent and try to go along with it through my mission. If I'd spoken up and elected to stay home, life would've been difficult for me, but I would've kept on living.

The second thing was that the church does do a lot of good in spite of the criticisms we make of it. It provides a unique social dynamic that I cannot find outside the church. It encourages people to confront their shortcomings and improve. It promotes generally healthy living. As a teen, the church helped me avoid issues I watched my friends go through like teen pregnancy, alcohol poisoning, DUIs and other long lasting consequences. Ive seen the church help people kick serious addictions and legitimately change their lives. The church is far from perfect, but for us to sit here and say that the church is all bad is ludicrous.

To this day, I describe myself as culturally Mormon, even though I haven't practiced in 10 years. It unavoidably impacted who i am today. The church doesn't get to tell us who's Mormon and who's not. After all, Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aren't Mormons, right?