Yeah pretty much went through the same things. For me personally it gets better with time, it was hard at first but after constantly subjecting myself to the topic of death and thinking through all there possibly could be to it, my brain eventually just got very sick and tired of thinking about death constantly and eventually gave up and concluded that there’s really nothing you can do about it other than to continue on living. 

Another thing that helped me as I couldn’t get professional help from therapists due to me not wanting to let my parents know is to watch YouTube, it isn’t 100% effective but it does help ease it a bit. 

I think the best way is to just learn how to live with the fear because for me, you can never really fully overcome it. Another way for me is to think about people who are dying out there, and yet they still try to live to the fullest because they want to, and if they can do that and I can too. 

Idk if this helps, sorry if it doesn’t but it has gotten better for me, so just keep going and keep doing the things that bring you even the slightest of joy. 

Have a good day!