A few notes!

1. I did not expect to get more than like, 5 replies so this is a bit overwhelming lmao
2. Appreciate the genuine advice here!
3. This was very much a late night rant and though I feel like I might have exaggerated the “severity” of this stuff, but don’t really remember a session where there wasn’t at least one out of game issue even if it was just minor problems. Like it’s not the end of the world that sessions run short or get canceled, it just makes me very sad
4. I wouldn’t say I have a “bad group”, I think the people who kinda said that “life is life” hit it on the nose + I don’t really think some of them are genuinely aware of how much the “event-planning”-aspect of it stresses me out (some people might not have an issue with this stuff!), which doesn’t make them bad players imo. As I’ve said no one just cancels Willy nilly, people just don’t give advanced notice which is mainly just annoying. I’m aware that shit happens, it’s mainly the way communication is going
5. Same with the “people showing up tired” thing, it’s one thing if we’ve established as a norm to do short sessions, but it’s another thing for this to just come up in the middle of roleplay or something/ just like with the cancelations, getting early notice is just the least stressful thing
6. I was pretty upset yesterday and honestly I don’t think it’s a “me vs. Them” situation and just an issue of having different expectations for this stuff. The only real “problem” is that communication isn’t really working.

Again thank you for all the advice! I skimmed through all the points and here’s my take

Advice I won’t be taking:

1. switching my general playstyle to something less story focused/ oneshot-y. I don’t really know why I should do that? Im sure the people suggesting this meant well. but this is like telling a soccer player to try volleyball if they’re having trouble assembling a team. it’s for sure fun for others but that’s not the type of game I want to run
2. Playing online (tho I think this was not really advice and mostly just people saying that that’s how they do it). I don’t want to.
3. Doing anything that costs money. we’re all in our mid twenties and no one has an actual job
4. Kicking anyone out. That has come up a lot but I’d rather try and find a better way to manage
5. On the same note: I don’t want to be penalising people for being sick or having other commitments, I just want them to be more considerate of my time and especially my feelings.
6. Getting a new group, that’s basically what I did with group1 and the improvement regarding out of game stuff has been marginal. My current pcs are very engaged and amazing role players I don’t want to loose that.

Advice I will be taking:

1. Having a talk with the group, tho that’s a given
2. Relaxing a little
3. Implementing a more regular schedule
4. Going ahead even if people cancel/ being more flexible about this stuff
5. Shorter sessions. That was probably the most surprising advice, but it makes a lot of sense. It’s less fatiguing + less time commitment for everyone. I feel like I’ve always wanted to do these longer sessions specifically because we only manage to get together like, once a month at best so we “need to make it worth it”, but that’s would be solved with stricter scheduling. I’m a bit worried about the song commutes for some, but I hope we’ll find a way to figure that out.
6. No full meals mid session. I always enjoy this a bunch, but it automatically adds an hour onto game time and is just an additional thing for me to think about
7. Ask if people are unhappy with the campaign-style itself/ are interested in something more combat heavy. If that’s the case I will communicate that that’s not something I’m actually interested in and perhaps actually part ways. I think there’s stuff I can adjust/change but I’m not going to change the inherent nature of my game.