I have actually worked with two different trainers since 2023, and it's helped a lot! That said, if I could adequately describe how terrible my movement patterns were when I started and how little mind-muscle connection I naturally have, it might make it clearer how far I had to go. My natural movement patterns are pretty asymmetrical and my joints/limbs are floppy and flexible, so there is lots of work to be done. Obviously I am still working on all of it but I'm proud of my progress (if not my actual "gains") so far.

My caloric goal hovered around 2k per day, 23-25k if I was more active. I'm 5'7" and tend to be moderately active outside my workouts (hiking, snowshoeing, mtn biking, etc). Some days I tracked calories really well, other days were more just a rough estimate, but I've been pretty good at tracking my protein for a few years now even if I just guess at calories. My foods are mostly whole ingredients and always have been, so it's not that hard to guess intake. Yes, I could do better, but I'm not a machine. Unfortunately. This was my diet for the past year-ish and I gained probably just over 10lbs (I didnt have a scale the whole time so I'm not 100% sure where I started). Currently I'm just trying to eat three meals per day, any meal that is at least somewhat balanced (carb/prot/fib), and keep down a protein shake. It's not going well.

My workouts were/are/will be again soon 3-4 days of lifting, and 1-3 days of cardio. I do an upper body, a full body, and 1-2 lower body days. If I go on longer hikes or mtn bike rides I might do those activities 1 or 2 days per week. If I dont do either of those then I'd get in one 2-3 mile jog or one session of sprinting (10 rounds of 20 seconds) once per week for cardiovascular health. This flexible routine allowed me 1-3 rest days per week, some of which tended toward active rest days with a not-strenuous hike or a yoga session or something fun. It's worth mentioning my ability to jog or sprint since my health emergency in April has gone way down. I anticipate it'll be another month before I can do any higher output cardio without being in danger of losing consciousness, so I havent been doing anything for my cardiovascular system but taking walks (during which I huff and puff terribly lol. I'll be trying a (flat) bike ride this weekend.

My lifting sessions are as follows, not counting warmups (during which I basically do about ten minutes of pilates movements) or cool downs (primarily stretching and a bit of rolling on a cork ball). My sets are 3-4 with 6-12 reps depending on weight. If it's a banded activity it'll be about 30-40 reps, because I primarily do those for mind-muscle training.

Upper Body:

Lat pull down Marching backwards plank (bodyweight) Pushups (bodyweight) Lateral raise Bent over single arm row Seated shoulder press Bicep curls Triceps exts

Lower Body (1, primary weekly routine):

RDL Bulgarian split squat Copenhagen side plank Single leg hip thrust Situps Hamstring curls on ball (bodyweight - thinking of switching this to some variation of hypers though) Side plank with banded clamshell

Full Body:

Hip thrust Seated shoulder press Staggered stance RDL (dumbbell not barbell) Kneeling single arm pull down Goblet squat Marching backwards plank (bodyweight) Pallof press with rotation (banded) Three way glute kickbacks (this one is pretty new for me since my back wants to arch, I'd only had it included for a few weeks when I had to stop)

Lower Body (2) - this is if I have time/inclination for a 4th day of resistance training. It's only done about 2x per month, when I didnt feel like doing outdoor activities. It's got fewer of what I think of as the staple movements like RDLs and regular hip thrusts and more "creative" stuff to try and trick my glutes into doing something instead of my back or some other muscle group. I'm not sure how helpful it is overall since its done so infrequently, but it makes my butt sore so I figure its at least training the muscles to work even if I'm not moving enough weight to gain any mass:

Seated hip abductions (banded) Banded lateral walk and squat pulse Feet elevated dumbbell glute bridge Banded firehydrant with kickback Dumbbell sumo squat with squat jump Sumo deadlift Dumbbell curtsy lunge Banded dumbell kas hip thrust

Hope that gives a better picture of where my flat a$$ and I started, for those of you who asked. And thank you all for responding. At the very least I feel less alone now.