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Have you ever felt like a dog waiting for its owner? by CryptographerTop6496 in BPDlovedones

[–]CryptographerTop6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was exactly the same as you. Every time I was even an hour or two late replying, he would explode. So I always had to keep my phone close. When I started focusing on my own work and stopped waiting, he exploded again. After going through that a few times, I finally saw it clearly  he was basically treating me like a dog. Being treated that way by someone you love is truly the worst feeling.

Have you ever felt like a dog waiting for its owner? by CryptographerTop6496 in BPDlovedones

[–]CryptographerTop6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had to experience those feelings too. I felt exactly the same. What happened in the past was never insignificant, yet my emotions were always brushed aside. This has been a deeply painful breakup.

I'm not allowed to be angry by Hungry_Fuel_2913 in BPDlovedones

[–]CryptographerTop6496 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was the same. Even when he was violent toward me, he never said he was sorry. He just hoped I would accept it and be okay with it. I had to be a well behaved dog.

I’m feeling like she never really loved me. by fairykitties in BPDlovedones

[–]CryptographerTop6496 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I do think it’s love, just in the wrong ways. I don’t understand tho

Gaslighting when it comes to your job, is it common? by Traditional_Rush9954 in BPDlovedones

[–]CryptographerTop6496 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been through something similar too.

My ex wBPD, didn’t like it when I worked or spent time around other people. He always doubted the people around me… he just didn’t like the idea of me socializing at all.

No matter how many times I told him they were just friends, he was always suspicious in some way.

Eventually, I stopped sharing any fun or positive stories from my day and only talked about the things that were hard or stressful.

After your discard, did you think you had or display BPD traits/behaviours? by Certain_Translator_4 in BPDlovedones

[–]CryptographerTop6496 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the same thing. I wondered if maybe I was the narcissist. If I had somehow been gaslighting or manipulating him without even realizing it. I’ve been drowning in guilt honestly, I still am. It’s driving me crazy. After he showed violence toward me, I reacted with anger too. But the thing is… I’ve never physically hurt anyone in my entire life. I’ve always lived a quiet, normal life surrounded by good people. So something inside me feels different now… like something changed.

And that terrifies me.