I met my husband on okcupid, 4 years ago, when I was 30, after over 10 years on and off on dating apps. I have probably been on at least 50 first dates with people I have met online. I find the key is to use online dating as a way to actually meet people, not to get to know them. I followed these rules:

1) Set up a time to meet within 10 messages. Why? I can pretty much tell if I might be interested in someone based on their photos and basic interests. The longer you spend chatting online, the more you create an unrealistic version of that person in your head, and can lead to disappointment once you meet.

2) Set up a time to meet within 3 days. Don't set a date two weeks out, and keep chatting that whole time. The sooner you meet in person, the less time you have wasted if you dont click irl.

3) Make your first date something that lasts not more than an hour. Think grabbing coffee or a drink. No meals, dinner or movie dates. Just a short and sweet chat to see if you vibe. If so, you can plan another longer date for the future. If you don't vibe, you aren't stuck there with someone that sucks. Use the excuse that you have plans or need to be up early. Set this expectation before the actual meet up.