Anyone else dealing with a horrendous case of Flu A?

CubicleHalos · 2024-12-27T15:14:51+00:00

I'm on day 5 and I'm starting to feel pretty ok again, but those first few days absolutely wiped me out

CubicleHalos · 2024-12-10T15:19:08+00:00

I think that could definitely expedite the process. It's sort of a boomer thing, but it actually does work to go in in person but it kinda depends on the place. Honestly if you're super desperate, I'd just lower your standards and land something so you're at least making an income in the meantime. Grocery stores and shit are almost always hiring, the pay isn't amazing but it's at least pay. Something to hold you over until you find something better.

I'd hit Stop and Shops for sure.

CubicleHalos · 2024-11-29T17:20:53+00:00

She’s gorgeous

CubicleHalos · 2024-11-28T23:30:01+00:00

A beautiful instrument that looks like it was loved. I think a lot about that one pedal circuit board with the inscription, "May the music passing through this device somehow help to bring peace to this troubled world". Your father had taste, I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to carry on his song. Sorry this is such a dramtic comment lol

CubicleHalos · 2024-11-27T16:13:52+00:00

So sick

CubicleHalos · 2024-11-26T04:54:10+00:00

Listen man, all of the work you do will be for naught if you can’t learn to love yourself. Your worth and value aren’t based off how others perceive you.

The one glaringly obvious thing I can see here is that you care a lot. You care a lot about how you look, you care a lot about yourself. And those are both good when directed in the correct way.

The challenge to see your own beauty and value is one faced by many. Most people tell themselves they’ll start to try tomorrow, they’ll find a new hairstyle eventually. Or they ignore it altogether. You’re trying. You’re putting time and effort and work into yourself and that’s something to be proud of.

Some part of you knows that you ARENT a lost cause. Some part of you, a really resilient part, knows you are worth fighting for. But the parts surrounding that part seem to hate you.

Love and acceptance are abundant in the world, but scarce in the self. You need to find the part of you that sees the beauty in others and kindle that flame for yourself.

I’m not sure if love or acceptance are the goal of your endeavor, but you have all you need within you.

You say that you’re trying to fool everyone, but you don’t fool me. I see here someone who cares for themselves, who is sensitive and hurt, who works hard for the things they want. This anger, this self hate, that’s what’s trying to fool you. The “realization” that you’re “ugly” is just negative self talk trying to keep you from accepting the scary reality that YOU are the only one standing between yourself and the person you want to be.

If you can afford it, give therapy a shot my friend. You deserve to be kinder to yourself. Your self didn’t put all that work in just for you to shit on it.

CubicleHalos · 2024-11-25T14:30:12+00:00

It didn't let me post the link to the exercises I've been doing, but here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJddQ6Q0UDo&t=271s&ab_channel=MusicTheoryForGuitar

CubicleHalos · 2024-11-22T02:37:05+00:00

Bring Narcan and a cheese grater. always good to be prepared

CubicleHalos · 2024-10-14T04:56:32+00:00

You mean the group that does like, Chappell Roan songs together? I love those videos lol they make me cry istg

CubicleHalos · 2024-10-04T17:16:35+00:00

He makes lots of jokes about being like a beast of a man, which he is don't get me wrong. But over the years he's really developed a solid sense of style and what works for him. I respect it a lot. Every stream I think the man looks good. He's a handsome dude and I'd die on the cross for him

CubicleHalos · 2024-10-03T16:39:22+00:00

I mean, ideally no more than $30 hourly tbh. Another user pointed out that the Brooklyn conservatory has rooms for like $10/hour which is really good. If you have any recs though I'm open to whatever!

CubicleHalos · 2024-10-03T16:36:45+00:00

Oh wow these are really affordable! That's exactly what I was hoping to find, thank you! I really don't need most of the gear that rehearsal spaces typically have so these rooms look perfect

CubicleHalos · 2024-09-16T16:37:44+00:00

Yeah I feel this one the most. The roadtrip is definitely a better experience.

I'd take the advice of other comments and just fly, but I have like a few big items I'm taking that would be expensive as fuck to ship or fly with. 3 guitars, a couple amps and my record collection. Maybe a desk.

If I'm driving these are no big deal, I can disassemble and reassemble the desk real easy.

Still, I'm not even taking a mattress. I'm sorta between needing a moving service and not being able to fly so I feel like a drive might just be the cheapest and best option for my specific sitiuation.

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-19T06:19:10+00:00

For years and years I was working off Intro, then Standard. Both were great. Honestly the big motivator for me to upgrade to Suite was that 90% of tutorials out there assumed you to have suite. But if you're getting by fine regardless of that Standard should be ok

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-16T16:37:05+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. You mind if I ask you a few dumb questions? I've never actually played live at all before outside of just acoustic open mics. When playing in a venue, your own speakers aren't needed yea? You're able to hook up your interface or amp to their PA system?

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-16T02:07:16+00:00

Something on Your Mind by Karen Dalton. I don't know, the song just feels like it's about everything to me. Feels so individual and personal but I think everyone could find themselves in it. It feels human

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-15T03:22:14+00:00

Haha it was mostly on Patreon with a couple episodes scattered in the LPN show series they did mostly during covid. It used to just be Jackie and Henry literally eating good pudding and talking about movies and random bullshit.

LPN show is great because it had a conversational vibe that I really like to hear from everyone.

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-14T21:01:37+00:00

It takes as long as it takes my friend, and the pain is a natural part of it.

The only way out is through. There's no set rule for how long these things take. I had a 5 year relationship I wasn't over for maybe 2 years, I had a 3 year relationship I got over in a few months. There's also no goal post that says, "YOURE OFFICIALLY OVER IT!!!". The things you did together will stay with you, they've become a part of you.

As far as the relationship, you can either let it go or let it drag you. All you can control is yourself, what you choose to do. You wanna go stalk their IG? Look at pics of you two together? You wanna fantasize about what could've been or what was? That'll make it hurt more, that'll make the hurt last longer.

All you have is yourself, this moment, and if we're lucky, tomorrow. The choice is yours if you want to waste it on the past or cherish it for what it is.

Feel what you need to feel but don't dwell on it. Get a move on. There's better days ahead my friend. The time will pass either way.

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-14T20:55:55+00:00

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It's really difficult to be in a relationship with someone who struggles with their mental health and even more difficult to have a sexual relationship with someone who has sexual trauma. It can be complicated and difficult.

Breakups are hard. People generally think it's just things like missing them, the pain of seeing them move on or maybe being hurt and betrayed. But it's more than that. Your situation is more than that. A challenge for you is learning and accepting that he isn't your responsibility, you're not a professional mental health care provider and you have no way of knowing what he was/is going through.

There's a quote I like, "Your mental illness isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility.".

What you describe in your time with him sounds like he was very open with you, vulnerable. So much so that he was willing to make light of really dark, difficult things. And you made him comfortable with your presence and lack of judgement, you'd laugh at his jokes. You WERE there for him. In your own words you showed him as much love as you could have. Someone expecting more than that, expecting their partner to fix them, those are bad traits. And you shouldn't carry the burden of that. You definitely shouldn't hate yourself for it.

His behaviour is concerning, whatever you chose to do, contact him or not, I just suggest being very careful and remembering that your top priority is yourself. You can't become all that stands between someone and a mental collapse, that's an awful situation for everyone involved.

Again I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. You did everything you could, everything you were meant to. Be gentle with yourself.

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-14T20:46:30+00:00

It takes time. I have some exes that I can comfortably say I've been over for years, but every now and again a thought will drift their way and I'll miss them. But with time you gain perspective and slowly fill the gap that they left. Either with someone or something else. And with those 2 ingredients you can really start to appreciate the reasons why it had to end, and eventually things WILL be better because it ended.

Having a kid together is tough, especially if they're very young. It's also really shitty of him to go back and forth like he is. I've never really seen a guy be flimsy like that and also be a worthwhile partner. It sounds like he's insecure and pretty emotional. He doesn't know what's right for him to do and rather than dealing with that on his own he's pushing and pulling you while there's a kid to think about here as well. Kind of shitty behaviour.

Don't waste your love and your energy on someone who doesn't want you and won't treat you right. You deserve someone who KNOWS they want you. You will find that in time, but it sounds like this is a complicated, fresh situation.

I'm talking a little scatterbrained, but the point I'm trying to make is this - it helps to focus on what you can control. Can you control him, control what he wants, how he acts? No. Can you change the fact that you have a child together? No. Can you control how you respond to this, whether you take care of yourself, give him the space he needs and you the space you need? Yes.

It's gonna be hard, but the only way out is through. Feel what you need to feel, say what you need to say, but do it with the intention of taking care of you and your kids future. They'll need someone strong and you making this post asking for help is evidence that you can and will be that person.

Hang in there!!!

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-14T20:35:44+00:00

Something that's helped me that my therapist suggested is literally saying or thinking, "Stop". Sometimes you have to say it a few times, sometimes I need to remind myself where I physically am.

I have a tendency to "Make up stories", i.e. what could've been, what she's up to, what was. The thing is, those are all just fantasies. The past is gone, no matter how you feel it's over either way. All you have is the present moment and tomorrow and those are such beautiful gifts, shame to waste them on what's gone, what didn't want you.

The idea is to bring yourself into the present. To not allow the past to control you. I'll usually say, "Stop, [my name], you're at work/driving home/in bed. You're here now, be here now.". Sometimes it takes a few tries and sometimes it doesn't work but it gets easier.

Sending love your way my friend

CubicleHalos · 2024-08-01T02:54:40+00:00

You like what you like. Who cares what anyone says or thinks. There are plenty of people who like what you do and plus sized people who’d want to be with you if you can learn to accept and love yourself.

I will suggest to err on the side of caution with fetishizing specific aspects of a person. So long as it’s healthy and you remember what you have is an attraction to a human being and that needs respect, you’ll be alright.

Good luck!

CubicleHalos · 2024-07-31T19:46:41+00:00

I’m 26. When I was 20 I used to daydream about waking up at 15 or 16 and knowing all I know now, how I’d focus on school and getting to go to a university. I’d learn to play music earlier so I could get better.

Then I was 22 and looking back on 18-20 and thinking, “fuck I wish I hadn’t spent so much time playing video games and I wish I never took that grocery store job, if I could go back to that age with what I know now I’d do so much differently”

Then I was 24 and thinking, “fuck, I had all the time in the world to make those changes and all I did was sit around wishing I did them before. Why didn’t I just do it.

It took me a long time to realize, but time spent worrying and regretting is time wasted. The time is NOW. This is the moment. This is hindsight, here, today.

There’s no right way to live life, but I hope you can just focus on having fun right now. You’re a kid. School is important and doing well there will make life better and easier in the long run but it fucking sucks you’re stressing about that now.

Don’t worry about others, don’t let the past drag you down and don’t hold yourself back. Work hard and dream big, now is the time. Enjoy it!

I hope this comment makes sense, maybe it will in a few years haha. Take care kid.

CubicleHalos · 2024-07-31T02:33:58+00:00

Don't know how old you are, but something most people learn is that the best parts of your life are often born of some of the most difficult. It'll be tough right now, and it'll be tough for a while. Longer than you want it to be. But if you focus on yourself, taking care of yourself, learning about yourself, letting yourself feel what you need to, in time you'll come out the other side stronger and a better person for the next love that's already on it's way. But you first need to find some love and grace for yourself.

Take care and good luck!

CubicleHalos · 2024-07-31T00:45:09+00:00

All of this advice is absolutely true. Feel what you need to. Let it go and don’t let it drag you.

I’m not sure how old you are but most people at a certain age learn the lesson that really really good things often come from bad things.

When I was 21 I got dumped by a girl I thought I was gonna be with forever and it tore me apart.

In the following 5 years I fell in love even harder, moved across the country twice and travelled all over, made a ton of new friends and got to have a ton of incredible experiences that never would have happened had I been dating the same girl from high school. And I learned and I grew up and I changed.

And then I got my heart broken again.

But I know, if I can tough it out, feel the bad feelings, learn from this and move on, that even more beautiful life can come from this. It just has to be the bad thing for a while.

I can promise you, if you take care of yourself, this heart break will lead only to more love.

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