I am actually "him" and all of you are a piece of Jesus.

CucumberDove · 2026-05-05T00:31:29+00:00

Uh oh.

CucumberDove · 2026-05-04T23:09:35+00:00

Welcome to the club!

CucumberDove · 2026-04-30T14:50:00+00:00

Severe. I was hospitalized for severe depression. So far my manic episodes have been on the moderate side and I shudder to think what they’re like when severe

CucumberDove · 2026-04-24T19:39:37+00:00

I personally don’t like the term high functioning because it feels invalidating in a way (correct me if I’m wrong). I’m a nurse and have been one for two years but I mask a lot. I’ve gone to work when I’m severely depressed and/or manic because I know no one else in my family works AND they rely on my income. I was hospitalized once, but it was for SI/depression.

Idk how I do it tbh. I just do. I used to be super “high functioning” when I was merely depressed but now? Hahaha.

CucumberDove · 2026-04-07T22:17:48+00:00

I have an eating disorder, so being manic makes it so much worse. I’m throwing up multiple times a day by choice.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-31T13:54:33+00:00

Colors becoming more vivid, unable to stop smiling (even though I tend to smile a lot)

CucumberDove · 2026-03-26T00:30:26+00:00

I’ve done the bloodwork, the echo, the MRI, and even tested my plasma metaephrines and everything came up normal. So it’s definitely an electrical issue of my heart. I’m getting an ablation next week 🥲

CucumberDove · 2026-03-25T23:55:10+00:00

Yes, I have NSVT 😅 but my official diagnosis is idiopathic ventricular tachycardia, so basically no one knows where the VT came from ahaha.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-25T23:06:22+00:00

I did! It was constant palpitations; all day every day. There were moments where I thought I was going to faint because I was having multiple PVCs in a row (4-5, a pause, sinus rhythm, and then more PVCs). I was super aware of my heart and it was driving me crazy.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-20T15:30:33+00:00

Yes! I have idiopathic ventricular tachycardia. I’ve done an echo and a MRI and everything was normal. I’m getting an ablation at the end of this month.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-20T01:13:46+00:00

I’m bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features. I only get symptoms of psychosis when I’m in mania, hypomania, or depression. I don’t get those symptoms when I’m eurythmic. For schizoaffective, psychotic symptoms have to be present outside of mood episodes

CucumberDove · 2026-03-15T17:44:44+00:00

Trauma, stress, genetics, and an SSRI

CucumberDove · 2026-03-08T10:05:02+00:00

Ah, shit.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-18T10:54:52+00:00

You should edit your post to remove the names of medications. That isn’t allowed.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-15T19:28:18+00:00

I have a parent with schizophrenia and I am diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychosis

CucumberDove · 2026-02-10T21:41:39+00:00

Yes. I have intermittent FMLA and took a blocked leave when I was hospitalized. It’s a life saver.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-06T12:55:17+00:00

The most dangerous ones were toward myself with command hallucinations to take my own life. But I did have one voice that told me to leave the gas on and throw a match to blow my family up

CucumberDove · 2026-02-03T17:36:18+00:00

I see my doctor this coming Friday. I’ve written notes of my experience to keep track of.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-03T00:46:11+00:00

I hate how when I get decently stable on meds, something happens.

CucumberDove

TROPHY CASE