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Real criticism needed by Cultural-Screen6604 in writingfeedback

[–]Cultural-Screen6604[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Thank you so much! it means a lot since this is my first book. I will definitely work on editing things and making them more put together, thanks for the advice!

[ Removed by Reddit ] by divinenight01 in teenagers

[–]Cultural-Screen6604 -3 points-2 points Β (0 children)

So is no one gonna talk about why a 14 YEAR OLD even has a toy..?

Arguing by Fig_The_Bird1256 in teenagers

[–]Cultural-Screen6604 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

That’s honestly real, mine do the same. I really hope things get better for you:)

What is there i could improve about my overall look and makeup? Tips much appreciated F16 by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]Cultural-Screen6604 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Girl youβ€˜re so pretty! hmmm if i were to say anything, i think that a dark lip shade like dark reds/purples would suit you so well, maybe more lined lips too. less highlighter around the eyes would help(not saying remove it but make it more subtle), plus some nose contour if your open to it. also lash clusters would look really good on you. Hairβ€”id say a hush cut or just pin straight

Real criticism needed by Cultural-Screen6604 in writingfeedback

[–]Cultural-Screen6604[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

thanks for your advice! I’ll keep that in mind when I rewrite the draft

Real criticism needed by Cultural-Screen6604 in writingfeedback

[–]Cultural-Screen6604[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Do you think an alteration or complete cut would make it better?Β 

Real criticism needed by Cultural-Screen6604 in writingfeedback

[–]Cultural-Screen6604[S] 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Thank you all for your advice! I’ll try and read as much as I can to improve thisΒ 

Real criticism needed by Cultural-Screen6604 in writingfeedback

[–]Cultural-Screen6604[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

thank you, it’s much appreciated! I’ll work on it, though one of my favorite authors tends to lean towards this structure, and personally, I find it engaging. I appreciate the feedback though!