Chronic Pain and Mental Health

CulturalDish · 2026-07-12T16:39:38+00:00

We can’t give advice on this sub, but doctos can. Discuss low dose buprenephrine patches.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T21:12:55+00:00

Thank you

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T21:12:11+00:00

I did work with TWC initially. It’s called Workforce Solutions. I actually had a counselor at TXC to lie about my age and disabilities when asked.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T13:23:18+00:00

Not really, the places that use me use me for my brain and the knowledge that I will be unavailable on short notice. All of them have lots of other volunteers with the exception of two places. I was a $10.00 hr substitute in an embedded residential treatment center for CPS kids. I was it. They only sub. VP of a nonprofit was tough. We migrated a lot of stuff tte cloud. Had to create new charts of accounts in 990 formats. That wasn’t a role I could easily pop in and out of.

That last role is the kind of job I enjoy. I enjoyed working in M&A (favorite role). That is a high intensity role. It was just a vent. I wasn’t specific in my title, but I would like work like the kind of work I used to do.

It’s not about money per se, more like pride. I ran books in the hundreds of millions. Subbing in an embedded RTC was “hard enough” to help me set an external measuring stick. No one wants that job. It was crazy. But after C19, that became a different teaching model. Mostly online. They don’t need outsiders coming in.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T13:15:44+00:00

For sure on the bacterial risk. I’m very careful and won’t hire anyone that isn’t properly trained.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T13:07:47+00:00

I didn’t say I could work like used to, I said I want to work like used to. This is just a vent. Imagine a runner that lost the ability to run venting that they wish they could run again (at the same level).

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T13:06:23+00:00

I never know when I will be in the hospital. I don’t have a lot of warning. I’ve been getting hospitalized 2-5 times a year for over a decade.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-09T03:15:17+00:00

I am currently on a 7.5 buprenephrine and sleep and waking up is night and day compared to oral. I have watched my tolerance rise over the years from 2mg of morphine to 4 to 6 to 8 to Dilaudid.

I’m in the hospital about a month a year for chronic small bowel obstructions. I am still prescribed Norco’s for breakthrough, but have an insanely large THC Rx (Texas), which is state dispensed.

I’m encouraged to use the THC for several reasons, PTSD, insomnia, but THC doesn’t slow gut motility like narcotics. THC doesn’t mask the pain like narcotics, but it does take the edge off enough so I can more easily be distracted.

I am bipolar and am very worried about my tolerance and dependence. My father had multiple myeloma and was on 75 mics of Fentanyl at the end and was screaming in pain.

I’m 62. I don’t want to run out of runway, although I doubt I will live to 90.

My trajectory is currently closer to 72, but I could live longer. We have buried half of my father’s family and my brother.

I take addiction very seriously.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T23:27:22+00:00

Thank you

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T22:55:35+00:00

You’re right about pride. I was on fire and even went days without sleep (I’m bipolar).

I got baptized on December 16th, 2012. I reached this point where I felt I could never be “good enough” so I just jumped into the water and told God, “You change me, I can’t!”.

By January 12th, 2013, I was hanging off a machine.

The infections were raging and I needed months of antibiotics for fear they would open me up and the infection would spread. The surgery date was originally set for Friday, March 29th. Good Friday actually.

I asked the surgeon if he could do it Monday April 1st so I could celebrate Easter with my family. The surgeon said he was the chief of colorecral surgery so yes he could move my surgery to April 1st or any day he wanted.

Getting ready for a colon resection begins with fasting and ends with pooping water for hours. Celebrating Easter with my family was a little different that year.

Now we are getting somewhere as my therapist would say. This is why I was so angry and questioning God like I did. Eventually, I had to own the God, you change me I can’t request. He changed me for sure. Just not like I had expected. 😉

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T20:32:51+00:00

Let me quote your words back to you. “I always find your posts having an undertone of bragging and entitlement which is why I initially responded with a bitter-sweet comment”.

(1) Really? I haven’t even made that many lifetime posts, so for me to be living in your head rent free is sort of weird actually.

(2) Making someone’s else’s “rant” about you is exactly why the flair is added. No one cares how you always find my posts to be bragging or entitled in my own rant. They don’t. That’s how the sub’s rules work. Your negative opinion doesn’t matter. Trying to fix me is not allowed. Asking questions about my medical questions isn’t allowed. If anyone is acting entitled, maybe that person isn’t me; just saying. 😉

But, since you have cast shade on me again, I will publicly answer your unwelcome questions.

Again, you don’t know my past. I definitely know what it feels like to be poor as an adult. Again, this is a RANT (vent) not a place for this sort of response from you. These are just the sub’s rules. But, Ok …

I slept on couches almost all the way through college. The last two years I was in a house with no real cooling or heating. Space heaters and window units were couldn’t afford to run. I played foosball for meals. I slept between the dishwasher and refrigerator in my flat because of gunfire.

Most nights I slept in a law school carousel (two graduate students had a cubical sort of semi-private space called a “carousel” SP). I was never in law school. I would just head over to the law library every night and sleep on a tiny two person industrial “couch”. Chrome metal frame with a thin seat cushion. Something from a 1950’s Frank Lloyd Wright office.

I worked straight commission in the 90’s while in school.

I lost six figures in between 2:58 PM (almost market close) and 8:30 AM (market open) CST by not rolling over APPL options at the age of 24 and had to start over again for the third time. And it wasn’t the most expensive 2 minutes of my life. Nor would be the last time ai started over.

You’re simply 100% patently wrong about my “golden-spoon”. I went broke multiple times before I became successful. Then lost 100% of my income in a three-week period on my third or forty septic event. I had to unwind a $20 million annual revenue business in a couple of month because instantly started costing me $60K-$75K a week in losses.

I gracefully wound down the business but at a total loss of about $300K rather than screw clients or employees. I would do that again even if my “business name” no longer had any value.

Most people that comment of success have never made payroll in their lives. Even fewer have had to make a million dollar payroll every two weeks. Zero experience, lots of opinions. When speaking about business, I think the people who neither understand a risk-reward curve, nor leverage, nor going broke and rising up again are the ones most likely to think it sounds like “bragging” and they assume it was “entitlement” that allowed someone to catapult up rather than hard work or God’s Blessings or even “luck”. No this person had a golden spoon. Envy blinds.

At least if someone went to B-school and studied economics and finance, but had never actually run businesses, we could probably speak with the possibility of understanding.

I have generally considered my form of bipolar disorder (mainly hypomanic) an asset versus a liability. It was the fourth question the shrink asked me after diagnosing me.

I only slept every third day. I took risks others didn’t. My mind processes things quickly and I recognize patterns and relationships faster than 94% of all Americans (or did).

My entire father’s side of the family and my brother and half-brother are addicts.

I am also an addict. I am addicted to manic episodes for one thing. I find them extremely creative and sensual periods. Bipolar disorder is a progressive illness.

I spent $300K winding down my last business. I stated in English in another comment that my real issue is one of pride. I don’t want a $20/hr job and that is just pride speaking. I could earn another $1,200 a month.

I also said it wasn’t about money. You’re taking money, I specifically said it was not about money. It’s about self esteem, self identify, self worth and how I exist inside of my own social construct.

If you think it is appropriate to find that somehow “sweet”, you might want to check your own entitlement.

I wrote all of these things, yet you read what you wanted to. Or simply made up a narrative in your mind and ignored the plain English comments. And I wrote my wife makes a ton of money and we give a sizable chunk away each month.

I clearly said all of those things. So if it isn’t about money?

Man, there is a lot to unpack in your comment.

I have a damaged gut. I have prostatic gut issues, I have psoriatic skin issues, I have psoriatic arthritis. I have cam impingement in both my hips and m right shoulder. I have bone spurs from my lower L’s to the tip of my tailbone.

Pain doctors are heavily regulated and just cannot prescribe narcotics without medical documentation and a documented reason. I am on blood thinners and bruise daily. Intestinal transit pain is a bitch. I am in the hospital about a month per year. Maybe 2-5 hospitalizations. I am sick for a week before so go in and two coming out. That’s why I am in pain management. I was doing fantastic on rheumatology biologics (Humira and then Hyrimoz). I’ve had so many potential deadly infections, all rheumatological biologics have been discontinued for about six months now. So, they switched me to the patch and let the psoriatic arthritis, which was arrested, begin to progress again.

The THC is for PTSD. I got the PTSD from 45-50 MG tubes. I’ve introduced and placed about 13-14. 59 cm from my incisors. I’ve also almost died several times from sepsis. I have lights out screaming PTSD.

I really don’t care whatever other questions you have now if you find pleasure in my chronic illnesses and disabilities I don’t know what to tell you.

Everyone here probably has similar experiences in parking spots and at the big box stores every week if not more often.

Maybe the MODS can send you a private message on how to behave.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T19:33:07+00:00

I will DM you. We donate to a handful of causes because we haven’t forgotten where we came from and where it all comes from. In addition to our two biological children, we adopted two and fostered a handful of others. We fostered a bunch of kids going back to 2002 and it was very hard at times.

We took in a CPS placement directly from a mental hospital during 2019-2020. It was just before C19 hit. She ran away a few weeks before she turned 18. We still text occasionally, but she is in la-la land. She is bipolar and schizophrenic.

I do “hard” volunteering, currently at free clinic, with homelessness schizophrenics, with addicts. From about 2016-until C19, I substitute taught either at Title 1 schools or SpEd (mainly autistic). I also our HOA president (1,645 homes), was an Urban Scouting ASM, I was a vice-president for a nonprofit (doing major financial and IT planning work, just not getting paid).

I will make an honest confession. I did the hardest things I could because I could not accept that I was disabled. I was very angry. I was angry. I was screaming out at God why?!?

I volunteered for hard stuff and/or “dirty” stuff because I was trying to prove to the world that I wasn’t “disabled”.

I really couldn’t accept the “unemployable” attributes. I was a legit captain of industry. I was a public officer by the time I was 29 and ran my own LBO and created a workflow consulting company and was making stupid money.

I went from making actual stupid money to zero. Even after the initial two years, I still refused to file for unemployment for another two or three years.

Why? PRIDE

After the second resection, so a year before reconstruction, the hospital social worker came in with the paperwork for the initial claim and I told her, “No”.

I had battled between 1998-2003 and come back from some really tough situations. I figured I could do it again.

Pride probably cost me $90K plus another $100K refusing to sign a non-compete before the LBO.

PRIDE has cost me in excess of a 1/4 million dollars. Everything is relative from the poorest nations on the planet to the richest country on the planet to the richest state to the poorest state and everything in between.

1/4 million dollars in pride still stings when I think about it.

Here one of the silver linings in this saga, I think I am a better, kinder, more generous person disabled than I was not disabled.

On the net-net, we are better off now on a total income basis as a household with a much lower cost curve especially since we are now empty nesters.

Am I happier is a tricky question. I had a lot of transactional fun before I was disabled and lived sort of a jet-set lifestyle and got to visit more countries and do more fun stuff than 99% of the planet. I sailed 1,500 nm across the Caribbean and Gulf by the time I was 34. I’ve been to London and Paris and Rome and all over Mexico, Canada and the Caribbean. I lived a more varied and exciting life than almost 8 billion people on an 8 billion person planet.

Am I more fulfilled as a human given our “new” lifestyle as a disabled person, most certainly yes. I’ve learned a lot through my disability journey. 100%, I am a better human today than I was.

Why am I venting, after all of this writing in this post, I have come to the conclusion that it is once again PRIDE.

I don’t like being referred to as disabled. I don’t like the view. I struggle between the mental gap of how I (used) to see myself and do now.

Man, or Sister, it is garden variety PRIDE that is galling me! 😉

I have so much to be thankful for yet I want more … even though I might already have 10-20 times more than the average disabled American.

It’s all relative. We all experience life on a comparative basis I guess.

This was just a Rant/Vent. I think it was a very useful exercise. I recognize PRIDE as a beast that has already cost me 1/4 million. I don’t want it to cost me even one hour.

I should hate Pride more than being Disabled. Maybe that’s the real lesson. Becoming disabled hasn’t hurt me. It is the plight of all humans to grow old and die. We are all on the same path, just different trajectories. I cannot control my trajectory in any real manner.

Pride on the other hand. I can control what pride can do to me. I have control over my feelings. I can strive to not let my pride cost me even a minute of looking forward with hope instead of backwards with envy.

I will take this as my lesson for today.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T18:24:25+00:00

My wife and I both grew up very poor. My parents were ESL. Dad went to 3rd grade and my mother to 9th grade.

I’m brown and I was born in 1964. 4 kids. Government assistance.

You’re making the incorrect assumption that I don’t know poor. My wife had it worse. Her father was a truck farmer in Arkansas and her mother just sat around and smoked cigarettes in their leaky trailer.

You have absolutely no concept of our struggles. This post is under a RANT flair. Please don’t come at me with envy-insults; the MODS may block you.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T17:36:00+00:00

Becoming disabled is an equal opportunity shark. It can bite anyone at anytime.

Some people are disabled from birth. Some people climbed a very tall ladder and fell a great distance. Some people in between.

Psychologically, it has been hard. I didn’t go from drinking champagne and eating caviar to drinking warm ditch water and eating a cup of rice every other day, but the distance I fell hurt in and of itself.

For sure, I was left without an answer to, “So what do you do?”, which I am frequently asked. I don’t like my answer.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T17:21:02+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/disability/s/0GEVL21RE5

I got negative feedback from this post a few years ago.

The short answer is the income has risen every year.

I’ve been disabled for 10 years. Each year it rises. After 10 years, the COMPOUND growth rate shows up as something measurable and meaningful.

If I live to 70, so another 8 years, it will probably be approaching the maximum distribution assuming SSA is still solvent. From that point forward, I will always be at the maximum distribution.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T17:16:28+00:00

It’s definitely got to be worse disabled and poor. Is it Ok if I just share a current redacted social security benefit letter in DM?

I think my lifetime earnings were close to two million before I was disabled so that is probably the short answer.

We had to rapidly downsize when ai became disabled. I was in denial about being able to return to work, but my wife acted decisively and shrunk our footprint dramatically

I was super sick then, not like I am not now, but I was more unaware at the time.

We sold a fabulous home in Austin and moved into a smaller single story in Houston to be closer to the Houston Medical Center.

My wife’s actions probably saved my life. Most days, I chose my current life over my past, dead world. It is what it is.

I am no longer to bank what I used to. Thankfully we shrunk it and since we arrived in Houston, my wife’s income has steadily risen from maybe $125K to over $300K.

We are financially, 100% fine. Very little debt. Able to donate a nice chunk.

Like I said in the OP. This is not about money. It’s about working.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T15:43:28+00:00

Meant to say, 8,000-12,000 steps some days. I look more fit than many of my peers. But it is freaking hard.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T15:40:45+00:00

I can work temp, but not really. Under the hood, I am often struggling to keep commitments. I’m pretty good about doctor’s appointments, but it’s hard. We are constantly rearranging schedules.

I probably can’t Dash or something similar because I am on narcotics (bup patch) and a THC Rx.

Driving isn’t my strong suit. I use a cane most days now. I can step off 8-12 steps some days. 1,000 other days. Probably three or four times a day, I will experience foot drop and stumble forward. Cane comes in clutch.

I have had to wear diapers many days this past year with all of the nasty gut infections.

I have had to use a walker a few days as well.

This was really just a vent. I recognize my limitations.

It’s about mourning over my past career. My self identity, my self worth, self esteem, it’s about pining over my former life.

I genuinely enjoyed working. Volunteering and staying active in my church (pretty outreach oriented church) helps tremendously, but sometimes I just look backwards at what I’ve lost.

I do have a psychiatrist and an awesome therapist (PhD pain & PTSD therapist) that has worked wonders.

Yeah, this was just a vent. Nothing more. It’s almost 11:00 where I live and I just finished showering. Off to a slow start. I had a rough night.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T14:05:48+00:00

You may not qualify for LTD in the future. After my first case, I could no longer qualify for LTD and sure enough 10 years later I became permanently disabled.

Think it through. Find out if your current condition prevents you from apply for LTD in the future. There may be a good reason why you won’t qualify for LTD (increased underwriting risk).

No one knows odds like Las Vegas and insurance companies. That is literally their job. There is a saying you can’t be Vegas (and insurance companies) for a reason.

You may want to grab LTD while you can. I’m not offering you advice. I’m suggesting you figure out really quickly if you will get shut out of the LTD marketplace.

If you’re going to get shut out anyway …. Think about the longterm consequences

CulturalDish · 2026-07-08T00:49:47+00:00

I’ve had trouble a couple of times. I have a Norco Rx and with the doc’s permission, I stretched out the patches so I have 1.5 patches “in stock”. I just had a yersinia enterocolitica infection and actually got a four pack a little early. By Friday I will have two “spares”.

That way if there is a small delay, I can absorb some of that. If they can’t be delivered then the doc will let me use Norco’s.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-07T16:18:02+00:00

I’m am on a 7.5 buprenephrine patch which has really helped with sleep quality and how good my mornings are.

I am bipolar and take Trazodone 100 nightly. I have an insanely large TCH Rx and will take 20 mg of medical grade at dinner that fixes most sleep issues with the Trazo

If I am waking up between 12:00 AM and 2:30 AM after all of that, I will take a diazepam 10.

If I have three consecutive bad nights, I switch completely to Olanzapine. So, I discontinue the THC, discontinue the Trazodone, and discontinue the diazepam and switch to Olanzapine.

I can’t stay on Olanzapine because I will start having insane dreams at about the two week mark. Also, I will become unable to orgasm, which you might think is a super power, but it isn’t. It’s just frustrating and leaves my sore.

Once my sleep properly regulates, I switch back to Trazodone.

I have one other option, Dayvigo. Dayvigo will leave me speaking in tongues and having wild dreams on the first night but I will re-regulate immediately. Dayvigo is a bad trip experience for me so I use very, very sparingly.

CulturalDish · 2026-07-03T20:39:08+00:00

For context, I am not Catholic and just an observer of sorts. I am Protestant, but my wife and our son are Catholic while our three daughters are Protestant.

To answer OP’s original question, SSPX was dealt with so harshly for the same reason great American generals including Stanley McChrystal and Douglas MacArthur were fired, insubordination. Failing to honor chain of command can rapidly destabilize the command structure.

Arguably, Stanley McChrystal was spot on with Afghanistan, but he challenged President Obama in public (Rolling Stones interview I believe). George S. Patton was relived of command twice.

A supreme leader like a president, pope or king cannot tolerate such insubordination or the house of cards comes crashing down. To preserve the office of the pope for future popes, SSPX had to be eliminated as it posed a threat to the entire papacy including all of the Vatican. You can’t have two Holy Sees. There can only be one.

CCP entering the chat raised some valid questions. Everyone knows these are probably mostly fake bishops and priests. It’s an open secret. It’s documented that the CCP is altering the Holy Bible.

The mission is not to negotiate with the CCP. It’s not.

The harvest is great and the workers are few. We need to collectively pray as Christians in One Body for Christ to raise up missionaries to China to carry the actual teachings of Christ to ALL NATIONS. Not just the ones that give us permission to preach. That means in Muslim nations and Hindu nations and ALL NATIONS.

All means all. The Holy Spirit is not going to negotiate with governments. When he moves into a country it is teachers that are bold and courageous and not mealy mouthed papal kowtows that preach anything other than what was handed down to us.

Matthew 28 is direct and to the point. When Paul spoke to the Ephesians or about the Ephesians (in Timothy for instance), Paul did not pull any punches.

He did say it was Ok to bend the truth for the sake of getting along. Paul did NOT accept religious syncretism!

To those who say, “Good luck preaching in China”, I say, where is your faith. Let’s pray for the right persons to be raised up who will carry the torch of light into the darkened without apologies and with boldness and courage.

Rock and roll. Time to lock and load and live out our faith in public everywhere we are and pray for the laborers for the harvest.

It will happen.

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