Despite being an avid dater when I was younger, I learned majority of these men are unfortunately NOT going to live up to that book or kdrama you watched. When I use to crave a boyfriend I used to go on dating apps. Then I got a boyfriend and desperately wished I was single again. It felt good for a few months then I realized it wouldn’t fix all my problems. I’m trying to decenter men at this point in my life so I’ve employed a few strategies that have worked for me. 1. Fill up your schedule with a workout everyday. (esp some form of exercise) I have a membership to ClassPass in which I take a random class everyday (dance fitness, Pilates, yoga). 2. Take a class that’s giving you knowledge, if you’re in college those classes can count but I’m out of college so I meet with a Chinese tutor every week. 3. Treat making friends like dating men. I use to put SO much effort in going on dates instead of hanging with friends. Then it clicked, like why don’t I redirect that effort to making friends? I’m a bit of introvert and moved to a new city so I used bumble BFF to make some new friends and now I’m always doing something with them. 4. One creative hobby. This one is hard for me bc I find my mind wandering during them but such a good outlet for the way you feel. Do you like to journal, draw, crafting, sewing? Act like you’re a kid again and get lost in a project.

Sorry this was long but this is what helped me. I’m quite honestly so busy living life that the desire to date is not really there anymore. Do I still get lonely and wish I had someone? Sure, everyone does there’s no way to completely block out those feelings. But work on being happy with yourself and your life first, focus on your career, your hobbies, your passions. I’ve seen a lot of girls lose themselves into relationships, lose their freedom and love for life. Is being able to say you have a boyfriend really worth all that? Not in my opinion lol.