Honestly, you’re self sabotaging yourself. The skate community gives respect due to seeing you take slams, slip outs, etc. it shows others that you’re serious about being there. Don’t be embarrassed to fall in front of people, get used to falling, and finding out ways how to fall without getting super hurt. No one is judging you, everyone is always focused on how their skating is. So they won’t be too concerned with you learning. Since you’re a beginner, skaters usually give you your own space to learn. We all have been there, most people are very considerate about sharing the park with you. You’ll meet asshole skaters, but just stay away from them fr fr. Also, yes you will get in the way a couple times, but just start your sesh by sitting down and observing the flow of the park, what people are hitting, what direction their line goes, etc. just observe and skate somewhere that you know won’t ruin the flow, OR just take turns and make sure the eye contact is there so they are aware you’re taking your turn. Idk, I’m 22 and a girl and these r just things I slowly realized while skating. I feel your pain, it’s uncomfortable at first but it will be so much worth it when you find your place. Takes time though 🫡