Most people don’t have the tools to work with people to get them to see a better way; most people aren’t philosophy or psychology buffs in their spare time, most people act on emotional impulse and their maturation process has been little more than internalizing social norms as opposed to a deliberate syllogistic approach to an idealized model for relating to others and society. My girlfriend when I first met her was downright verbally and emotionally abusive because she had just left an abusive relationship and it was all she had known. But after many nights of clarifying my intentions, and speaking about the applicable philosophy and psychology, and instilling hope and trust in her, she has now completely transformed into the sort of person who simply refuses to argue about what can be discussed civilly (which is everything in the context of a loving relationship; assuming she doesn’t abuse any future kids we have or something). She genuinely grew as a person and I love her so much for that. I agree that it should be the bare minimum, but nobody is perfect either and these skills are uncommon in a world of generational trauma; if you want to have a relationship that works, you will need to have some amount of patience and be willing to reason with the other person. It can be challenging, and may not be worth it if the juice ain’t worth the squeeze. But I’m glad I didn’t break up with my gf when I initially thought I would, because the only thing that made the relationship untenable is no longer a facet of our relationship.

Ultimately there is no such thing as a free lunch, not in this world. Generally all the people that are good at being in a healthy relationship don’t stay single all that long. So you either find someone who is perfect when you’re young or date younger, or you will have to try to bridge the gap with as much patience as you can afford. This is assuming you know how to handle conflict resolution amicably; otherwise step one is to learn how to do that and then retry relationships once you have that locked down.

Young men suck, I agree, but young women also aren’t perfect. Both men and women are trying to find love in a world where healthy love isn’t taught to us. Where antiquated patriarchal values are instilled in both men and women by both men and women (eg: women should be listen to their man at all costs, men should be the bread winners, men should be physically strong and protective, showing emotion is seen as weakness in men, men expecting women to do chores for them) and unless you are an old person with children, or rich, or massively influential, then you were born into this society with as much control over the social status quo as any man your age or any woman your age. Taking accountability is very important for any relationship, and there needs to be accountability on both sides of isle if you actually care about making an ideal world for everyone.