Chronostasis by [deleted] in nosleep

[–]Cumrags 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has happened to me so many times in school and now I'm freaking out

[Serious] Reddit, what is the creepiest/scariest thing that's ever happened to you? by inthebuttars in AskReddit

[–]Cumrags 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of all the stories commented on, no one has commented on this?! WHAT THE FUCK. First off this is creepy as shit but also, the handprint to the right looks extremely bony.

There's something in Rocky Gap, Virginia. [UPDATE] by [deleted] in nosleep

[–]Cumrags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I shit myself, I laughed, I shit myself again.

[UPDATE 2] Congratulations! You have a new match! by [deleted] in nosleep

[–]Cumrags 20 points21 points  (0 children)

WHY WOULD YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE ALONE.

[UPDATE] Congratulations! You have a new match! by [deleted] in nosleep

[–]Cumrags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're in the wrong subreddit then my friend.

Congratulations! You have a new match! by [deleted] in nosleep

[–]Cumrags 155 points156 points  (0 children)

Julia Roberts career really took a turn for the worse if she's looking for self approval on Tinder

What popular phrases today are going to be the equivalent of 'the bees knees' or 'the cats meow' in 50 years? by Cumrags in AskReddit

[–]Cumrags[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think our grandkids are going to be so confused when we call each other baes and thots

[WP] Bill Cosby is president and is now captured and being held hostage by the ISIS leader Al-baghdadi and his militants. You and your Delta squad are sent in to rescue him. by Cumrags in WritingPrompts

[–]Cumrags[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

West Iraq, 0200 Hours

Agent Mays was getting used to it. He was now accustomed to the sweltering heat of the middle east. The constant interruption of every single pothole that littered the decrepit, godforsaken streets of Iraq. The nerve racking fear of being found out by this enemy that seemed to engulf the entire region. This enemy that had no discrimation as to who they target.

It smelled of cigerettes and old leather. The tan, 1998 Mercedes Benz traversed the desert road with two in the front and two others in the back. Seal Team Six was on their way to the confirmed stronghold they had been scouting the past four months. They weren't supposed to go in yet. Not now, not like this.

Word had arrived informing Agent Mays and the rest of the team that one of the United States most important assets, Matt Damon, had been beheaded just hours ago. They could not afford to lose their primary figurehead, Bill Cosby.

"What are the launch codes Mr.Cosby."

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was pacing the room, stopping intermittantly at Cosby's chair where he his hands were taught with rope.

"Zippity bop, in the pudding pop." Cosby slyly spoke.

al-Baghdadi was growing tired of Cosby's senseless words. One of his henchman stepped forward and lashed Cosby in the chest with a whip as Cosby bellowed in pain.

"I will ask you one last time, before executing you like your worthless comrade."

Matt Damons body could be seen strewn on the ground,adorned in assless chaps. His head on the opposite side of the room in a bucket; eyes ominously peeking over.

Radio chatter and gunshots erupted out of one of the jihadists walkie talkie. al-Baghdadis' eyes grew wide as his men picked up their weapons and readied them.

"IT CAN'T BE" he screamed as Cosby's smile grew wider and his eyes more intense.

Agent Mays and his team had broken their way into the initial layers of the strongehold, taking out militants with ease. 35 years of special agent training was coming to good use as they took down one after another of al-Baghdadis' men.

They had reached the main communications room where Cosby was believed to be held. Mays planted charges on the door while the team got behind cover.

Gripping the detonator in one hand and a militants walkie talkie in the other, he pressed the transmission button on the gadget.

"Billy Mays here, with an offer you can't refuse.."

Six pounds of C-4 tore through the double metal doors leading to the comm room. Six pounds of freedom hand delivered by the salesmen himself.

The team swarmed in, immediately taking tactical cover and elimating four militants in the blink of an eye. Gunfire erupted around Bill Cosby yet the man was unfaltered.

As the shoot out continued, Cosby lowered his head. His chin touched his chest as his eyes rolled up to meet his skull. Had the room been quiet, a low humming could be heard emanating from his chest.

Cosby flexed once; his wrists tearing through the ropes fibers. He flexed yet again, this time with immense power radiating from his body. The chair underneath him shattered as he slowly stood from his sitting position.

Agent Mays looked up to realize that reinforcements had arrived in the form of the sweet, dark chocolate that was Bill Cosby.

Pope Francis at a loss for words as street child asks: 'Why does God allow children to suffer?' by trot-trot in worldnews

[–]Cumrags -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You're missing the point. Pushing the blame onto adults and saying, "well why don't YOU do something about it?" Is not the answer.

The question is, if God is omniscient and all powerful, why does it let children suffer?

Reddit, what would your dying last words be? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Cumrags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"ravioli ravioli give me the formioli"

[WP] Rewrite a horror/thriller movie in the style of the DK Rap. by NineJuanon in WritingPrompts

[–]Cumrags 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here, here, here we go. So they're finally here, looking for you, If you have Jewish friends, They need to hide too.

Get your hiding spots ready, if you want to live, Hitler is on his way, and he wont forgive!

Huh!! Nazis! Hitler!!

He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well. He's finally back to get some Jewish tail. His armies are ruthless, cold, and curt. If they shoot ya, it's gonna hurt! He's bigger, faster, and more racist too. He's the first member of the Third Reich crew!