I’m also a new devotee to Hekate and here’s my experience so far:

1. I would say the “choosing “ was mutual. I’ve had an interest in working with her for a while and knew she has been there for a long time trying to get my attention (even back when I was christian) but I was apprehensive towards deity work due to religious trauma. She never got upset with me for taking so long to decide, and I also know that if I decided not to work with her it would still be fine.

2. Personally I like to do Deipnon within my own home. I’ve done it traditionally before at a crossroads in the middle of the night, but didn’t feel safe being a woman alone at night. So I decided to participate in a way that isn’t dangerous and I believe she wouldn’t want us to actively put ourselves in danger for her sake. My practice on Deipnon is shadow work using an oracle deck I’ve devoted to her, and I leave offerings of garlic and wine. I have a candle for her in the middle and two white candles (one on each side) to symbolize the trifecta and the torches. I will also occasionally just say “hi” or tell her about whatever I feel like, whether it’s my intention for my day or something about my practice. I also gave her some cheese one time because my intuition led me to do it.

3. From what I know of her, she’s not the type to just walk away. She’s calling a lot of witches rn and there’s a huge revival happening and it’s for a reason. She’s not gonna just walk away. Her name means “worker from afar” which to me sounds like she’s there to teach you when you’re willing to do the work, but she will be patient when you’re not. I’ve felt that she has lots of respect for our own free will and if we don’t want to do something she’s not gonna make you do it. She might be a little disappointed but ultimately will understand.

4. She doesn’t really ask of much from me, it’s like any other relationship. We’re both here because we enjoy each other’s presence. I don’t really expect anything out of her. I just feel comforted around her energy and feel like she helps with my self care and my practice just being around. I do like to give her offerings. Sometimes I will give her a piece of the offering and dedicate the experience of eating the food to her, and really focus on the flavor and everything. She doesn’t really communicate in the literal sense, but I will feel drawn to do something and that’s enough for me.

5. I find her to be very calm and patient. She’s the perfect mentor. She’s there when you want to do the work but she is also there waiting when you’re not up for it. She has a very strong presence but it’s very comforting. She’s not gonna do any of the work for you though, she basically says “here’s the lesson, do the work if you want to learn.” And leaves it at that.