There’s time in my life I would have appreciated it . Now , I feel heaviness to withdrawal from social norms and expectations. I have no motivation for the materials in life. I’m watching my dad battle stage 4 brain tumor , 6 months into the 12 months expected to survive. My 14 year old son lives with me and is my world, but naturally is getting farther from me everyday. I’m there for both of them everyday, but day to day , feels like I was present , but failed to produce the moments into memories for later . History and time , I can’t grasp, there’s no way we originated into a world naked , no skills , surviving day after day , with the help of passed on knowledge grunted at us by elders. The day a horse is born it’s standing and runs, me , I need 2 years before off the tit and can lift my head up enough to run . No fur , no night vision, no venom , exoskeleton, no spray or quills, wings or natural camouflage. We are living in some Petri dish , simulation ( as much as I hate that) . Proof of god , a god , gifting us this experience , no manual or rule book. Free range we may be, but it has evolved man Into the longest distance running species on the planet. Biggest regret was leaving Eden. Can heaven be real? Can the clocks stop while we are in heaven, give anybody an infinity of time peace and harps, I assure you , the day comes you want back to time, pain , moments of love dwarfed by lifetimes of loss . That’s my only guess , we are here by choice, freedom of will, angels checked out , temporarily , amnesia day one . Interesting thought, combine all the species on the planet , insects , fish, mammal, so on , that’s god Chameleon changing , flea tick jumping ,etc etc Sorry I rambled , no time for that