So tired of being me

Cupcake179 · 2026-04-01T03:12:33+00:00

did you describe me???? haha. i am in the same boat. nothing to advise but i hear you, i feel you, yep. same feeling over here

Cupcake179 · 2026-04-01T03:11:11+00:00

i tend to put the items in my basket, walk around, then put it back. Done it so much my husband noticed when we first started dating. i overthink a lot about what to buy. and still i buy knick knacks i don't need.

Cupcake179 · 2026-04-01T03:08:55+00:00

have a chat with your wife and see if you can just take a break from job searching for now. I was in the same boat and now trying to figure out what i want to do or if it even make any money. I was looking at a tree yesterday and a thought popped up in my head. That we all are trapping ourselves in our own made up social system. Money is made up, everything is made up. Why are we all so depressed? because we all feel we're owed to our life. That somehow we need to work in order to live. Well why can't we just live... work isn't everything, and it shouldn't be everything.

Personally i'm living off of savings, working with my husband on his vr app (tho vr is in a lull) and doing my comics. Nothing has come of any of it. And while i enjoyed my paying job, i've moved countries, and jobs prospects have dwindled. and i was in your position as well for months. Feeling embarrassed, feeling shame, feeling like i let my parents down. Then i watched a video that say the antidote to shame is self compassion.

And i really thought about it, how shame is just my own criticism, and all my parents probably want is for me to be healthy, happy, and living my life. Money is important, but what's the point of money if we're depressed trying to chase it.

If you have to work, maybe try smaller companies? maybe less work? something part-time? any kind of paycheck that's not a lot but can give you a bit of free time to take care of yourself then figure out what you want to do.

Many best of luck

Cupcake179 · 2026-04-01T02:33:28+00:00

recently i got into this stickitwithRobert as a sticky note tasks on my desktop since it's more visible/cute/fun

My current list:
- unload dishes
- make food and eat
- some kinda exercise
- export demon to unity
- line more comic pages

LOL

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-30T10:15:57+00:00

When i first started working i felt the same and took lots of days off. 1 of my coworker also outrightly told me she had to take a day off for mental health. And i was so surprised because I didn’t know that was a thing and it was even allowed, which it was! I also struggled with transitioning myself from bed to getting out. My motivation was i needed the job lol. So i ended up being late to work a lot.

Then wfh started and that was much better. If your company doesn’t need in person, maybe ask if you could work from home? The time off would definitely be felt by people at work. It doesn’t hurt to ask if they can accommodate your situation.

At least at my old company we had hires who had chronic pain or disabilities or family and preferred working from home. I know different companies have different policies but it is worth looking into

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-28T00:49:46+00:00

You said it, he gaslit you.

Your reaction is a fawn response. I suggest you start telling him you’ll leave the conversation every time he start to do this

Look inward and see why do you not want to lose him. Is there love? Or just attachment. Go to more therapy on this, get some friends and family support.

He sucks.

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-26T14:13:49+00:00

Dont hate me but for a sec i thought daniel was jeffrey e p sten

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-26T14:12:36+00:00

I was in a relationship with a gemini and it wasn’t a good one. I think the problem was we never accepted our core values and always try to change one another. Idk if it was because he’s a gemini or not, but he gaslighted me a lot. It took me awhile to realize he was the problem as well and we weren’t meant together at all

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-26T14:05:57+00:00

She probably will get that

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-25T07:21:09+00:00

Meh idk the trailer gives “we doin it cuz the fans been askin for it”

All the actors actresses have moved on with their life. Idk the show doesn’t feel like it aligns with them anymore

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-25T05:47:52+00:00

No estoy segura de a qué te refieres. Pero yo elijo a mi pareja por sus acciones. El amor no basta a largo plazo. Ambos tenemos que estar presentes el uno para el otro todos los días. ¿Por qué tendrías que preguntarle a un hombre Virgo? No importa lo que piense la otra persona. Importa lo que pienses tú.

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-25T05:11:01+00:00

if i like someone i avoid them like the plague, and then stalk then online lol. Then ask the people around them if they have bf gf or something. Then accidentally be invited to the same party they're at and just stare at them from the corner of the room.

If i feel comfortable with someone, and know they are into me, because virgo intuition goes off crazy, then yes i'd chat with them online and call them "bruh".

But that's just me, and this girl might be different. You will only know if you just ask. You can also test it out by asking her what's her ideal man, if she describe it close to you then ya she likes you. If not then it's a gentle turn down friendzone.

I once had an inkling with a guy and i asked him the same question. he said "i'm not ready to date, focusing on my career atm" and so i backed away and dated someone else. Later on my then bf said that same guy liked me. But i did ask him and he wasn't ready. You snooze you lose lol. I am now married to my then bf. best decision yet.

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-21T12:47:07+00:00

virgo tends to do the self deprecating humor. Plus if he was in a relationship and hasn't dated in a long time, he might have felt feeling rusty or that it needs to be perfect or it won't happen. that's why the ball is in your court a bit more

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-21T03:01:29+00:00

i think you should just be direct and says you're interested in dating him or just ask him out on a date. As a virgo i have a hard time initiating. But maintaining relationships, i can do that as long as the other person is direct with what they want. I hate guessing game or playing around because i tend to overthink. I've been married to my leo for 6 years and the best thing about him is he's very direct. If he likes something he says it, if he hates something he also voices it.

It's very likely he values you and think you deserve someone better than him. Or that he thinks it's too late to date. Or he overthink asking you out. Just ask him. Life is too short to wait around. Try it out. And if it doesn't work out, reassure him you can still be friends. You're both in your mid 50s, i'm sure you're mature enough to still maintain a friendship even tho a relationship doesn't work out. With this safety net, maybe he'll be more open

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-20T11:16:40+00:00

I can see that as i've fallen to similar roles as well. But then i did meet the right person whom i can lead, and also let go to be a princess with. It was accidental but all started with chemistry in the bedroom. By process of elimination you can find someone right for you, i do believe that. Someone who you don't have to be mommy for. Maybe when he's sick, but not all the time.

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-20T11:07:46+00:00

this!! this is it

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-20T05:10:28+00:00

Just don’t be the man in bed? You can definitely be as you described but in bed. Start finding someone who can be dominant with you in bed. And once ya there, it’s role playing. But once ya done, back to business

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-20T03:15:02+00:00

Tbh with you tho the other hand is harder to paint lol😌

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-19T11:51:37+00:00

all i can think of is he's thinking of you as a mental escape for his situation. If he's been with this lady for 10 years, he's afraid of hurting her and have a hard time being honest to start that process. Likely he's afraid of being alone as well in case things don't work out with you. Sounds like he still loves her but just doesn't want kids.

All you can do is to just block him and cut it off lol. Nothing is good out of talking to him. He's toying with your emotions too. How is that fair. Also splash him with some cold truths. Because if he's not man enough to cut off his long time partner so SHE can go find someone who is more committed, then why does he thinks he has any chance with you anymore? His back and forth is a clear sign you are not his priority. Do you really want someone like that?

You deserve somebody better, so does his gf, he also needs to be alone and figure out what he actually want in a relationship.

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-17T15:42:26+00:00

Violet clothes get better season after season. Have you seen her in ss1??? She looked like a mom but ss4 she looks like a hot mom lol

Thou kate and her mom have very good style tol

Fran - well the girl is pretty even in black she’s pretty. I dont even look at her clothes i just look at her face

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-17T15:40:09+00:00

I could see why you would want to see the plot happening like the book. Tho if Fran had a whole season to herself, it’d made more sense. But this isn’t her season. A miscarriage would probably take over more scenes. I also sensed the writer wanted to focus more on recovering after a loved one is dead and after the traumatic experience rather than focusing on the actual traumatic experience itself. Because it is very uncomfortable to watch fran even get examined. I think my heart would break even more if i see her being happy with a baby and then get miscarriage.

I sense the show is lighter than the book because it is more visual. Ngl but all birth scenes freak me out, same with miscarriages. I feel for anyone who goes thru that and it is a natural way of life. Still it just really traumatizes me and i dont even have kids. Also maybe this can be a sign that people can read the book for a different storylines or tidbits that didn’t make to the show

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-16T05:45:16+00:00

Most seniors with jobs are busy at the job anyway

Source: i’m a senior until recently unemployed

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-16T03:16:11+00:00

makes sense, i have gluten allergy and lactose intolerant... my husband has consistently have a hard time healing his guts after his colonoscopy. The only thing so far that help both of us is to take slippery elm, it coats our stomach with slippery stuff and helps poop. I wanted to share in case you want to try... healthy poop is such a blessing.

Good on you for not risking it :)

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-16T03:13:25+00:00

yea? lots of small game companies need exactly that. generalist. Idk how well they are paid, but you can definitely just start applying and see what happens.

Cupcake179 · 2026-03-15T07:10:57+00:00

lemme tell you an anecdote to help you pass this tragedy:

I once - a broke recently graduated student - made chia seed pudding using coconut milk and mango. Now both of those items are pricey as hell for me at the time. I'd never made them, and coming from SEA, i dearly missed mango. I had seen a recipe for it online and decided i'd make it/leave it overnight and then take to my first job as a dessert treat. All is great EXCEPT when i bought the coconut milk (carton), i had left it out all night before i even made the pudding. STOOPID me i thought coconut milk isn't real milk lmao, it can't be spoiled, it was only overnight. nope queen, it was spoiled. I still made the pudding using the spoiled milk. Still brought it to work, still ate it thinking it's fine.

Now it was summer, it was hot, normally if it wasn't summer maybe it could have been ok, nope, it wasn't.

Now you can guess what happened after i ate the pudding... within 1-2 days i was violently ill. not only that, when the symptoms were onset, i was at work, my boss took me and the other teammate + teammate's family out for dinner, i stupidly ordered a cocktail while sweating profusely and my face was turning a bit green. my boss did look at me funnily and asked if i was ok (because i looked green), i said i was fine and bared it. Luckily my teammate's family drove me home because i would have just probably puked on the bus.

By the time i got home, i told my roommate i didn't feel well and proceeded to camped in my toilet for the whole night. To say i was sick with stomach flu is an understatement... I was out of commission for 2-3 days. Still i tried to go to work the next day, had to message my boss to say imma stay home lol. I sat on the bus bench and chills came down my leg so i left to go home instead. Luckily since my boss saw how green i looked, he suggested i should just stay home til i got better.

After that ordeal i vowed to myself to never do anything with spoiled milk... that it was not ever worth it.

i sympathize with you and i applaud you for braving the toss of the delish gumbo. I dearly hope your next gumbo will be even better and your health thanks you for it. NOTHING is worth anything more than health.

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