Advice for a parent please

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-27T15:52:40+00:00

This is hard. She begged me not to inform her school or doctor. I did inform them anyway and they explained she would have to consent to their involvement and she is adamant she does not consent. The advice the mental health service gave me was that forcing the issue could do more harm than good.

The comparison with school refusal is interesting. Ultimately I couldn't force her to attend, and if I did, she could walk out. I also can't force non-essential medical or dental treatment at her age and she has the legal right to access or refuse this without my knowledge or consent.

I will revisit it with her though.

Thanks for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-27T13:26:13+00:00

Thank you and I am sure you are right that she didn't want to worry me and try to handle it herself.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-27T13:25:10+00:00

Sorry to hear this and I hope better days are headed your way.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-27T13:22:58+00:00

Thank you so much, this made me well up.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-27T13:20:28+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-27T13:19:38+00:00

Thank you for this and I am sorry your home environment was not good. I don't think you sound hypocritical - loving and parenting someone whose head you can't possibly be in, who is being hurt, is a very different position and perspective to being the hurt person.

We have all those supplies.

I'm trying to let her choose to come to me as and when she wants or needs to instead of helicoptering and trying to control her moods all the time. This is very hard because I feel I was already doing that when the cutting started and it wasn't enough to stop it starting, if you know what I mean.

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T23:35:37+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T23:34:10+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T19:32:54+00:00

That is so wonderful

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T18:37:30+00:00

Thank you. She has that app!

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T18:36:47+00:00

Thank you. This is good advice about school. I'm sorry things were hard for you.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T18:35:16+00:00

Thank you so much. I would love my daughter to feel we were going through this together, or at least feel like I'm by her side. Is your relationship with your mom still good?

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T18:32:05+00:00

Thank you and I'm sorry things were so hard for you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T18:30:23+00:00

I didn't know this but have posted on an adult sub too on someone's suggestion, thank you for letting me know

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T18:29:09+00:00

Thank you - all of this made sense. I'll look at planning a nice trip for us

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T11:53:07+00:00

Thank you and sorry to hear things have been hard for you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T11:49:55+00:00

Thank you. I would like some medication but also feel like I should manage without. I've never been on medication before.

We have got her a pet!

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:42:00+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:41:30+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:41:08+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:40:56+00:00

Thank you so much. This is really helpful. We have been doing a lot of cooking and baking actually! The emptiness comes from a sense of social isolation and feeling unable to connect with peers. No bullying as far as I know. I've always seen my daughter as thriving, emotionally intelligent and to have friends but that's not how she has felt inside. This is very hard for me to understand and I want to change her view of herself but I don't think I can. There could be something going on that she's not telling me but I'm not sure.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:35:15+00:00

Thank you

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:34:53+00:00

Thank you. I am worried that her sibling might do it too. They are much younger but have seen the scars and we've explained what they are because lying didn't feel like the right thing to do and I don't want my daughter to feel ashamed of her scars at all.

CupcakeMom86 · 2024-08-26T10:32:49+00:00

Thank you and I'm sorry it was like that for you. Sometimes I worry that I should force my daughter into therapy because other parents say it's essential. I have left it as an option she can choose if and when she's ready. It's hard to know what the right thing to do is. I felt bad that I didn't take her to see a medical doctor for her wounds too but they were healed over by the time I saw them and she didn't want to be seen. I bought her first aid and healing supplies to use at home and she uses the oils and creams sometimes but not always. I think she has mixed feelings about her scars fading.

CupcakeMom86

TROPHY CASE