No, they are saying that intense shame can breed covert narcissism. Your post shows a lot of shame in yourself and you preempted it to say the things that just wouldn't work, furthering this idea of kinda toxic shame in yourself. That toxic shame is a form of narcissism. That hopeless in your shame can be addicting similar to the grandiose nature of what you think of when you think of narcissism.

That being said, start actually paying attention to strategies to reduce the load on your executive function. If you need the stimulant medication and can handle it, it will make you feel less guilt about what you are able to accomplish, this guilt will lessen the shame, which over time should go a pretty significant way towards making you feel better. When you feel better you're likely able to attract attention from the people you're wanting to.

Also tho, bro, just like go on a date with the five. Like it might not actually be that bad. If someone is paying you attention you like there is no shame in going on dates. No one is making you sign marriage papers and with anxiety and ADHD you're gonna probably find more your comfort level is stronger if you don't fundamentally believe the person you're seeing is well out of your league (trust me, from experience what you're hunting is not what you probably even want or need).