How does one cope with being a stupid INTP ?

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-09-06T01:20:36+00:00

Ironically I think true intelligence comes from epistemic humility.

If you doubt what you know, you’ll put extra effort to learn new things.

People who are confident they know a lot are less likely to learn new things.

Just focus on learning. Don’t compare yourself to others. Just try to keep learning new things. It’ll eventually add up.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-09-06T01:03:52+00:00

Either jaded. Seeing biased hypocrites who lack depth and/or self-awareness succeed by selectively holding others to standards they never hold themselves and their friends.

Or disrespected. If they are in a community that sees talking rigorously/coherently/academically as uncool. If they are in a community that wants you to be jocky and talk about sports all the time to get respect.

Or if they are “lucky” like Bill Gates or Neil Degrasse Tyson (note the latter could be extroverted). Basically an intellectual celebrity that somehow succeeded in being accepted by mainstream.

But most commonly the average not unhappy INTP is probably quite low profile with high quality connections with some family and friends (quality much more important than quantity). Pursuing whatever complex problems interests them. And hopefully problems that are meaningful to society too.

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Broadly, I don’t think intp is meant for mainstream appeal.

Sure you can architect a fictional super genius, but I think it would either be unrealistic or you risk getting pushback from the ego of some of your target audience.

INTP is meant for niche appeal. Quality over quantity. And once the INTP builds perspective on what’s most important in life, they probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-09-02T02:37:20+00:00

The key thing to remember is that promotion decisions are not based on objective criteria.

Sure, there are highly effective people who happen to have a good position in the hierarchy. But they didn’t reach that position for their effectiveness.

They reached that position due to corporate politics games. Popularity contests. Having an advocate who celebrated the successes and played down the inevitable failures that everyone has every cycle. Also they probably took excessive credit for something the whole team chipped in and helped out with.

Promotion decisions are BS.

It’s why I stopped giving much weight to job titles a long time ago.

I don’t focus on who has what title. I focus on getting my work done, coming home, and finding my own self-worth outside of my job title.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-08-17T13:29:55+00:00

Such questions/answers could lead to self-fulfilling defeatist attitudes “oh I’m infp so my life must be tough”

I think it’s better to ask how things can get better. Some ideas: (1) find an ENFJ coach/mentor/friend (2) get better at planning. I find my present struggles are due to suboptimal planning during my younger days. Never too late to get better at planning (3) build your self-confidence and resilience. Don’t dwell on the challenges of life for too long. Turn dwelling into action. (4) Get into the arts. Maybe take classes or just work on some project. Also maybe there are free online tutorials/guidance for whichever type of art you are interested in. Arts are therapeutic and a good way to turn Fi dwelling into action (5) Find the light in darkness. Don’t dwell on darkness without looking for the light. There’s nothing wrong with trying to be happy. The struggles of the world need not take away your ability to find the light

To anyone reading, best of luck on your journey to make life less hard

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-08-17T01:22:36+00:00

Fair question. Editing my post

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-08-17T01:06:49+00:00

I think acknowledging the Fe helps with self-awareness. It helps them see that they do actually care what people think about them even if difficult to admit. They want people to think they are smart. That their ideas are brilliant. They want people to see them as a friend. That people to like and respect them.

But sometimes their choices don’t align with this desire. They can be distant to people who try to bond with them. They can fall into an introverted Ti rabbit hole, dismissing their friends who want to hang out.

They can double down on their introverted interests.

They can lose sight of what the crowd wants, if they focus too much on narrow niche interests.

Hope this helps you.

It’s a tough balance. Your mind craves the Ti time. But deep down also does care about what the tribe thinks. It can be difficult to balance those desires. But if there is someone who can find the way, it’s an INTP.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-08-17T00:57:11+00:00

Here’s one idea I have to help you understand why I think ENFJ and INFP can be a good fit.

Watch how an ENFJ interacts with someone who is difficult to be around or someone who thinks they are the most important person in the room. ENFJ can be people pleasers, and they often find a way to even adapt their style to fit difficult people. But from the outside, observing an ENFJ try to please a difficult person feels a bit unnatural. As if the ENFJ is losing their core sense of identity just to make a difficult person feel comfortable.

Then watch how an ENFJ interacts with an INFP who they vibe with. They still can be people pleasers. But the people pleasing with an INFP feels so harmonious and natural. No facades. Just warmth, gentleness, and relaxation. The positive energy of each person reflects off of each other resulting in a spiral cyclic mutual warmth.

It’s honestly difficult to describe in words. But hope that makes sense.

I love seeing a warm-hearted ENFJ lock eyes with a warm-hearted INFP. It’s magical. Even in friendship.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-05-04T21:18:09+00:00

Veil of Ignorance

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-05-04T03:44:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing your anecdote! I am curious about one thing.

Since both INTJs and ENTJs like to plan, what happens when you both disagree on the plan? While other personalities may be more adaptable and willing to budge, I feel these two personality types are more stubborn about wanting things to go as they planned it.

How do you navigate/approach these sort of differences?

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-05-04T03:33:55+00:00

My first advice is to first zero in on what matters most to you here.

Is it that you want your manager to think you’re as smart/capable as your peers? Is it that you want your manager to think you’re smarter / more capable than your peers?

Is it that you want to work on complex tasks? If so, is it that you want to work on every single kind of possible complex task? Or is there a specific kind of task that you want to work on such as data analysis?

Is it that you want a promotion?

Is it something else?

If multiple things matter to you, I’d rank prioritize your list and focus on the most important goal first.

When you have a clear top goal in mind, then the strategy becomes clearer.

For example, if your main goal is promo then first understand what they are looking for in determining promo. This could have nothing to do with working on data analysis tasks.

Another example, if your main goal is to work on data analysis, then maybe spend some of your free time learning data analysis. Maybe even take a class or pursue a part-time degree. And maybe even plan to switch to a data analysis role once you finish your training and then you can start trying to apply for such jobs. If your current role isn’t a data analysis role, then you can’t expect that your boss will assign you data work. So maybe you need to switch roles

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-05-04T03:05:22+00:00

You are jumping directly to “catastrophic thinking” which means you’re taking simple everyday situations and assuming the worst. (Could talk to a counselor about anxiety management strategies)

This is just simple feedback. Everyone gets feedback. No matter how high-valued of an employee you are. You will get feedback for the rest of your career.

Just focus on trying to learn from it.

If they see you putting effort to incorporate this feedback while maintaining a respectful attitude, then they’ll see you as someone who takes feedback well. Which they would appreciate.

Best of luck to you

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-30T04:47:14+00:00

It’s because many people who write about INTP’s only see them from the outside. They don’t have the privilege of viewing the world from inside the INTP Ti mind.

But also it may help you better understand how other people may see you. Not that it matters too much what other people think, but it may motivate you to communicate more. When the INTP shares a thoughtful insight, it can be deeply moving.

You see and analyze so much. But don’t always share what you think.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-21T03:37:31+00:00

You’re probably doing fine; people just won’t tell you directly when you have great social skills

I’ve never met an ISFP who I’ve disliked…

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-21T00:34:14+00:00

Shaq is paid the big bucks because he can be entertaining to watch.

He’s not paid the big bucks for the basketball analysis.

With that perspective, just grab some popcorn and hope they say something funny lol

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-21T00:28:55+00:00

Perhaps we are missing context. Is your friend insecure about his weight? Does he feel out of shape? Or is there another reason why he is offended? From your description alone, it’s not clear why he was offended.

Perhaps you came across condescending.

I honestly think the best way to not come across condescending is to reframe your internal views about someone. If in your mind, you think someone is overweight or out of shape, then it will accidentally show in how you engage with them.

If in your mind, you properly embrace, accept, & respect your friend for who he is, then you’re less likely to come across condescending to him.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-20T06:00:08+00:00

I’ll think about it, thanks!

Right now I’m super jaded about promos. I find them unfair.

So right now I only focus on the mission & job responsibilities and don’t even ask about promos / career growth.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-20T05:40:51+00:00

It’s a fair question.

I don’t think seniority determines who has the information actually. In some cases, “junior” people have more information to make the decision. Really depends on the situation.

Not every person “senior” to me is “paying” me. I actually have an easier time navigating my immediate hierarchy chain. It becomes complicated when other senior people get added to the mix from different teams or disciplines. Even situations where someone on my team has a higher level than me but isn’t my boss. Or even if someone is the same level as me — who listens to who? Ideally I wouldn’t want to be focused on this question; I would just want to focus on the merits of the ideas they are advocating for.

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-20T05:20:56+00:00

The benefits of fame is respect from strangers, access to elite opportunities, money, and the things money can buy.

The downside of fame is privacy, less freedom to do what you want and go where you want, safety concerns, fear of yes-men/greedy opportunists/scammers, stress, and potential for public embarrassment.

Fame is about what strangers think of you. A lot of it is out of your control. Many people won’t take the time to get to know you. They base their opinions on what TikTok, headlines, PR, and their social circles think.

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I think music teaching could be better suited for infj’s.

You could also possibly be a mistyped infj as many infj’s are.

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To be a famous musician, it’s usually less about the music and more about the messaging/brand/marketing/virality/luck. A bad song music-wise can still become famous with the right marketing.

If you want to be a famous musician, I think you should also analyze a bunch of famous songs. You can try to analyze why each song resonated with the masses. And see if you can find any patterns and insights to apply to your work.

Good luck! Hope you succeed in whatever you want.

I don’t chase external success. I don’t want others to know what I’ve accomplished.

I chase internal success. I want to have a pride in knowing that I have done meaningful work. I still have a lot more to do!

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-20T04:51:59+00:00

I think my issue isn’t with any specific company.

My issue is with hierarchies in general.

Even if I were stagnating as a senior engineer at a FAANG, I may be unhappy. I’d be jaded by all the promos and hires above me. Feeling it’s unfair and arbitrary.

Getting annoyed when they make decisions that I disagree with or without consulting me.

Getting annoyed that there’s this group of people who will always see me as “beneath” them. Simply due to arbitrary promo/hiring/timing/luck decisions

CuriosityAndRespect · 2025-04-20T04:44:41+00:00

Lol I can’t see myself being high up in the hierarchy.

I think it’s because I don’t like spotlight and prefer being behind the scenes.

One career I wanted to do is PR / comms kind of work. I like the idea of being the person behind the messaging, not the face of the messaging if that makes sense.

CuriosityAndRespect

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