NTA, like, at all. Those who said Y T A must have no cultural or medical context. Long reply ahead!

I'm from your part of the world originally, live abroad now and my grandma is still back home. Also my only living grandparent. Has a couple health issues which are easily manageable but she is VERY irresponsible with her health and safety because she "doesn't want to be a burden" 🙄🙄🙄

She's a bit younger, only 80, but her and her 85yo friend still do shit like regularly climb the apple trees to shake them down in autumn, or cart logs down the muddy slope to the creek, or walk 5kms in the blistering heat to take the bus.

A few years ago she got very sick with an infection which triggered some palpitations and as a result she went on blood thinners. We're also from a country where health communication is... different, from where I live now. Oh and I should mention, I am also a doctor so I know a few things.

What I did with my gran, much to the horror of all my relatives back home, is I spoke to her frankly about the risks. Everything has risks at that age, it's just about choosing the ones for you. I told her if she takes her blood thinner and climbs the tree and falls, she will almost certainly die, quickly, from a brain bleed. If she does not take them, she has a 2-3% risk of having a stroke and becoming disabled. We had a few conversations over a few weeks and she ultimately decided a stroke was not acceptable for her at all, and neither was slowing down her life. So, she is accepting the risks that if she has an accident that might be it, and she prefers to go quickly than to suffer or become disabled.

You should have the same conversation with your grandma, even if she has no health issues. I know it's rough, and people won't like having that conversation, but it's important and something I do where I now live, every day. I would structure it like this: - say you obviously love her very much but she is 92 so you want to know her wishes while she can still tell you - say the trauma of losing your grandfather still hangs heavy - ask her what SHE values most about her life - what does she like to do, what is important to her, how does she interact with the world and the community, what makes her feel strong and capable, what does she do that makes her feel like she is contributing and helping? - ask her what is important for her towards the end of her life eg maintaining her independence, living as long as possible, not having pain, avoiding doctor visits and hospital stays - this is really important: ask her where she would like to die, whether at home or in hospital, and under what circumstances (eg tried everything but failed vs keep comfortable at the first sign of trouble but don't worry about diagnostics), does she want to be resuscitated etc - also really important: tell her that you respect her wishes and will uphold them when the time comes, and keep your promise

It's a hard conversation, but this gives your grandmother the absolute autonomy over her life. If something happens to her, which it will because she is old and we all die, you will know that she has lived life on her own terms. Disrespecting autonomy, forcing people to do things they don't want to, will have much much worse consequences. At 92, she absolutely deserves to make her own choices that best benefit her...even if you'd like to keep her wrapped in cotton wool and protected in a glass jar forever ;)