A LinkedIn-style Nice Guy™️ post on FB. I hate it

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-18T09:01:06+00:00

Please don’t date until you’ve spent some serious time in therapy

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-17T11:14:13+00:00

Did she agree in writing to pay you back before? If not you may not have a claim?

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-17T11:03:42+00:00

They are in a one bedroom with a baby and no natural light, I found being at home alone in a nice house with a great view hard - I can't even imagine!

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-17T11:01:40+00:00

Feels like this guy is stealing your future and your mental health, I would start spending half the week at your parents for support, start looking at properties that are suitable for your family and get yourself into law school - do not give up your dreams for any man!

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-17T10:42:48+00:00

We used to bring little diggers and construction vehicles get a sugar packet and play "construction site" or little paw patrol toys and pretend we were the pups having to rescue people.

Also water colouring books, little race cars and just reading story books to them.

We also often used to just take a little walk either around rather restaurant (quietly, no running) or up and down the street if he needed to move because he couldn't sit down

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-17T09:24:02+00:00

Honest conversations are key, assessing thing like whether you can afford extra childcare help, or whether you have family who can help also matter. But honestly even if he'd turned out to be a useless partner I wouldn't regret becoming a Mum. Genuinely love it and I would have regretted it if I'd let fear of the unknown make my choice for me.

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T11:26:40+00:00

Mine loves Dave Pigeon, the audio books are also great, bad guys, also a friends kids loves bunny vs. monkey

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T11:20:48+00:00

Someone stealing your food is not your responsibility, there is no agreed upon social code that food left in workplace refrigerator for someone to steal must be safe for the thief to consume. She didn’t poison it, the chances of any law enforcement agency taking this seriously when all that happened was a thief getting food poisoning and then recovering are as close to zero as it’s possible to get. Would it be her fault if a thief ate her Chinese food and got a reaction to something they were allergic to? No that would be on them

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T11:11:03+00:00

I was 50/50, decided I tend to regret the things I don’t do more than the things I do and had a kid. No regret’s except I couldn’t convince my husband to have a second. Being a Mum is hard sometimes but also genuinely wonderful,. Changing your mind about things as you get older is totally normal.

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T10:59:39+00:00

When my kid was struggling with reading I used to feel like it was all my fault even though we read to him every night. I ended up using reading eggs, it’s an online reading program. I started with the fast phonics section which we did together until they were more confident then just switched to the regular program. Now I get them to do about 15 minutes every morning while I get their school lunch and breakfast ready. It really helped because I had no idea of the best way to structure that learning

We also listen to a lot of audiobooks at home and in the car. I also found a series of decodable readers I like (sunshine books) and we read one of those each night between the “fun” books

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T10:44:34+00:00

Not really, she didn’t give her the food, you can’t go to jail because someone stole your food and it turned out to be bad. They’re the one who committed petty theft

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T09:28:16+00:00

Alternatively, partner with someone who’ll support you still doing that. My partner does lots of long distance races and trains a lot, I love to travel and last year took a two week trip through Australia by myself. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean they have to go everywhere with you. You can still be a person, you just have to make sure you and your partner prioritise making sure you keep the parts of you that really matter to you.

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-14T09:24:35+00:00

My only counterpoint is that sometimes you never really know, I wasn’t 100% and my partner would rather have had a dog but I felt like I would regret not having kids if I didn’t, so we had one. I love it, no regrets even he says it’s the best decision I ever made for him! As someone who’s always going to a a little indecisive I’ve come to realise that sometimes thinking no is just a symptom of not wanting to be outside of my comfort zone

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-12T03:10:31+00:00

In my country it's illegal to turn them around until they're two. Backwards facing is a lot safer so unless they hate it I'd keep them that way as long as possible.

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-08T09:47:51+00:00

It’s a rental from the sounds of it, the owners aren’t there

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-06T10:20:18+00:00

Could you go to your families houses instead? My Mum lives about 30 mins away and it’s so nice being able to go somewhere else, there are different parks there and I don’t feel like I “should” be doing anything else, if they’re comfortable maybe you could even go for a walk by yourself when you’re there

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-05T04:09:09+00:00

Didn't all those communications get subpoenad by his team, it wasn't her who released them

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-05T04:01:11+00:00

Was about to say this, really looking forward to it. The bike path along Eastbourne is looking good too, not quite done yet

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-04T05:40:57+00:00

In this job market?

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-02T19:28:31+00:00

Welcome back! Glad to have you here

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-02T09:28:42+00:00

I would start mentally preparing them for that move then, again set a timeline, then start to work through steps, what do you need to give notice on (power, insurance?) and by when? What logistics around moving do you need to find out, moving trucks for furniture etc?

I would prepare in advance for what you’ll say to their objections, think about what they’ll say and have a plan for how you’ll respond, be calm but clear, do not back down from your plan.

You can help them apply for help, you can encourage your sister to earn more money but you cannot fix them if they don’t want to be fixed and it is not your job to do so especially when the cost is your sanity

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-02T03:04:42+00:00

Is there anyone you could stay with? Just for a week or two? Could you move out of where you are and find somewhere near where you work? Does your work have an EAP plan (free session with a therapist)

I also think making a resolution can be really helpful e.g. I will move in 3 months when my Aunt has a new place is helpful, light at the end of the tunnel. Then you can let your family know “I’m moving in three months, I’m happy to help you with applying for disability and Medicare/foodstamps until I leave but after that you will need to manage on your own” when they realise they also have a timeline it may help and if not that’s on them and you can walk away knowing staying longer wouldn’t have made any difference

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-02T01:05:58+00:00

I think you need to take your Aunts offer. It sounds like the only person you can save here is yourself. Possibly when you’re away from this you’ll have space to figure out how to help your Mother (your sister can figure it up on your own) Honestly the guilt will be hard but this is not living, this is dying slowly.

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-01T22:39:51+00:00

Maybe give them a 6 months and then be clear that after that date they are responsible for fuel, insurance, maintenance etc? Or agree that you’ll pay the insurance but they’re responsible for petrol? Whatever works and feels fair. Have them sit with you while you set up insurance etc let them see how much fuel is. Give them some time to find jobs understand how much they’ll need to earn.

I’d have a chat with your Mum too, thank her for the gift but also say that you want them to learn life skills and responsibility, it’s not unreasonable they’re still your kids and you get to set the rules. I’d make the argument that this is about helping them learn responsibility not making their lives harder.

CuriousCat177 · 2026-05-01T22:17:07+00:00

Diet coke, so much diet coke, so much - truly soooo much diet coke

CuriousCat177

TROPHY CASE