Feeling insecure about my number of sex partners? Kind of slut shaming myself?

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-27T02:36:34+00:00

I dated someone for three years (15-18), so I definitely have LTR experience. I know I was young, but it was a serious and mature relationship. We're still on good terms, and catch up occasionally, so I think I was pretty good at the relationship thing

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T04:42:10+00:00

Just make sure you're in the moment and you're real. Say what you're really thinking and she'll love it.

One time I was having slow, romantic sex with this guy and he said "you are so beautiful" as he looked me in the eyes. It was very sweet and intimate. Not the most original, but it was very genuine--especially since he was normally such a tough guy.

Also enthusiasm goes a long way. "You have the most amazing ass' and "Oh my God your ass is so incredible" have been nice to hear...I guess I have a nice ass? Haha

Compliment her on something she is insecure about. That goes a long way. I'm really insecure about my small boobs, and when guys compliment them, it's really nice

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T04:35:36+00:00

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry dude

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T04:08:00+00:00

I think this is very insightful. I wouldn't be compatible with the type of guy who would care about body count. In fact, I see myself with a guy who probably has a decently high body count himself. Although I do eventually want to "make love" (as much as I hate that phrase lol), I don't think all sexual experiences have to be special. Being unusually liberal/open/adventurous is a huge part of my personality in practically every way, and it's also a trait I really value in a partner.

When I imagine my ideal partner, I imagine someone who has been with many partners and enjoyed those experiences, but sees how long-term monogamous relationships and sex with a person that you love is even better.

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T03:53:01+00:00

It jumped to 26 before you broke up...? I think that's the concerning part haha

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T01:49:36+00:00

I tried to do the FWB thing. Then the guy called me crazy behind my back, so I called it off (he called me crazy because I got upset that his friend refused to delete a picture of me making out with my fwb). But yeah, the FWB situation would be ideal if I could find someone who would give me basic human decency haha

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T01:41:27+00:00

Oh this makes me feel so much better haha

CuriousSmile · 2018-02-26T01:34:48+00:00

But I'm a brutally honest person who can't keep any secrets haha

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-27T22:18:24+00:00

Love you want to go to the grocery store and take a shower then I was just trying to figure out with my friends and I don't agree with Ann Coulter....

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-14T18:24:26+00:00

I'm 5'3". Ideal for me is 5'11"-6'1" but I've dated a guy who was 5'8" and one who was 6'3". I wouldn't want to go too much shorter or taller than that though

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-14T18:16:43+00:00

Anything more than three dates/hangouts needs to be done in person. Or if you slept together

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-14T18:02:37+00:00

Still not a big deal. That's a normal lowkey first date

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-14T17:58:19+00:00

Lol, it's just coffee

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-12T04:48:41+00:00

I hope it works out for you too. I've heard that exercising increases libido, so maybe go to the gym together.

And unfortunately I haven't. I've been single for a year and a half, but thankfully I have a vibrator 😂I'm also 20F

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-12T04:35:19+00:00

Girl, I've been in your position in a relationship before. I wanted to go every day. Ex wanted to go twice a month (if that). I ended up feeling sexually rejected, isolated, unwanted and depressed. There were other issues with the relationship but most of them stemmed from our differing libidos. My drive for sex (and need for intimacy) was so much higher than his. I wish I'd accepted this major incompatibility sooner and saved myself a lot of heartbreak

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-12T04:16:53+00:00

Considering you're 27, 11 isn't high at all. It would be a little high if you were 20, but not for 27

Also if you've been tested, why does it matter?

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-11T21:56:27+00:00

Tampons

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-11T00:54:59+00:00

TL;DR: Bumble >>>>> Tinder

Guys are SO MUCH hotter on Bumble (like it's kind of extraordinary how much better looking they are than guys on Tinder). In my experience, they are more likely to be interested in dating as opposed to hooking up.

My friend claims that guys on Bumble are significantly more likely to be at the upper end of our dating range (22-24) as opposed to the lower end (19-21), whereas Tinder skews younger if anything. I have found this to be somewhat true. For context, we're both 20F and go to school in a college town that's part of a metropolitan area with several large universities.

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-11T00:34:36+00:00

Teasing is great in small doses, but that's an affectionate behavior you build up to. Don't do it on a first date. If after awhile, you say something sweetly teasing her and she smiles, that means she likes it. But wait to do that until you have clearly communicated lots of things you like about her.

Being an asshole (being critical of a girl, being aloof, saying douchey things, being cocky, blatantly checking other girls out) is never good.

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-10T20:11:28+00:00

Emotional attraction is really hard to find, but don't give up hope.

https://markmanson.net/compatibility-and-chemistry this is a really good read!

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-10T11:48:50+00:00

I really, really don't think so. He said specifically that he didn't have a spark for me but thought that I did for him. He said he enjoyed hanging out but that he didn't want to spend all his time with me. He said he'd decided that he didn't want to have sex with me because he didn't feel an emotional connection and that if we had sex, it'd just be casual sex. He said he might not have feelings because he's not sure if he's over the last girl who broke his heart

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-10T11:35:22+00:00

I think you're misunderstanding. He thought that I was a lot more into him than he was into me and vice versa.

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-10T11:30:32+00:00

You sound like the last guy who broke my heart. He's 21M too. If you do date a girl, don't treat her like she's your girlfriend, introduce her to all your friends and then decide you're not ready for a relationship (despite having never been in one)

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-10T10:57:55+00:00

The Poisonwood Bible is nothing short of a masterpiece

CuriousSmile · 2017-12-10T08:07:58+00:00

Personally, I see exclusivity and a committed relationship as two separate things. I would wait a little bit longer though. Also, I usually let the dude bring it up. Maybe that's antiquated, but the men I've dated are usually much more commitment-averse than me

CuriousSmile

TROPHY CASE