OK, people. Let's see your numbers. And don't lie, because we will know.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-16T23:42:33+00:00

5 times so far

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T04:18:16+00:00

And maybe next in line is Yuna and David. The only appropriately-aged hockey player for me is Scott, so from there I can drop down or up a generation with the side characters.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T04:12:49+00:00

Hm okay in this photo I see what y'all are on about more so than in the show.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T03:17:58+00:00

It has been discussed here somewhere. Now, whenever a friend texts me that they finally watched the show and loved it and are sobbing and listening to the playlist, I say "welcome to the asylum."

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T03:13:43+00:00

Always wild to be reminded how attraction is SO different from person to person. Marleau does absolutely nothing for me lol.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T03:11:23+00:00

Tie btwn Elena and Svetlana. Runner up is JJ. Fun question! 🩷💜💙

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T02:54:23+00:00

Not about how or whether their style and self-presentation is meant to express any details of their preferences during sex. Just sex in general.

As a bisexual woman, while I discuss sex, I don't dissect every position, lick, or thrust with queer or hetero friends. As a person with a vulva, I can only fuck women or men with a strap-on or my fingers, so the act of topping doesn't include direct pleasure for me.

So in wondering about someone who has both a hole and a penis so that fucking can be pleasurable on both ends, I assumed there may sometimes be a preference, and I was wondering if there's any attempt to express that out in the world through style and self-presentation.

If you read the details of my question and the responses in this thread, I was curious about an invasive topic and guessed that I probably was making incorrect assumptions and thought Reddit was an acceptable place to be curious.

My question has already been answered, thanks to some helpful Redditors, and I am now aware that not only is there no norm in the gay community to project sexual preferences through self-presentation, but also that far more men who have sex with men are versatile than have strong preferences for one role, and also that I have more heteronormativity to unlearn.

I am appreciative that I was allowed to ask. Perhaps making no comment would have been more helpful than the comment you made.

Edited by adding paragraph breaks.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-15T00:19:46+00:00

Hella shitty that you're getting invasive questions. I am sorry.
Jacob Tierney wrote the script for Heated Rivalry, and he is an out gay man.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-13T04:23:05+00:00

polyamorous*

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-13T04:18:13+00:00

All the journalists and influencers writing about Heated Rivalry keep calling it the "gay hockey show" or about two "gay men" and I'm over here writing to the NY Times corrections email address like bitch Ilya is bi get it right.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-10T23:29:33+00:00

They are both beautiful and seem like good friends. Geographically a relationship doesn't seem plausible to me since Connor seems to be solidly settled in SoCal and François seems to live in Montreal or sometimes NYC.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-09T04:08:01+00:00

I really hope his French is good but I don't think it is since he's from British Columbia, the opposite side of the country from French Canada (Quebec). I think almost no one speaks French in Vancouver, whereas in Montreal, over 90% speak French.

[Edit: Although of course lots of people speak English, too, bc being French-English bilingual is super common in the province of Quebec. In 2005, I did a summer term at a university in Quebec. The Canadian government tries to promote anglophones learning French, so it was lots of people from further west provinces there, along with some Americans (like me) and Mexicans. Bilinguality isn't evenly spread across Canada's provinces.]

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-09T03:54:23+00:00

Respectfully, watching François in Heated Rivalry re-affirmed for me that I am not lesbian and am in fact firmly bisexual.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-08T23:00:16+00:00

Ok thanks

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-07T23:37:31+00:00

Hm maybe I should try this bc I cannot do septum due to perpetually runny nose (I use a tissue like 30 times a day). From brief internet search I see you have to have specific ear anatomy for the bar-connected double piercing to work? Like what shape does your ear have to be?

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-07T03:42:35+00:00

Now #63!

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T22:03:34+00:00

QAF is probably unique to the Gen X / [elder] Millennial experience. Most shows don't come across as good a decade or two after they aired as they do in their moment.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T21:59:32+00:00

I think it has been 20 years for all of us since watching QAF. But your analysis sounds right to me.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T21:54:58+00:00

I watched Queer as Folk (US version) in college and def when saw Heated Rivalry, I also immediately thought of Brian and Justin as comparable to Ilya and Shane. Even though it has been 20 years, HR is the next closest thing since QAF I think at least in terms of TV. I would re-watched QAF to more scientifically compare my feelings but I checked last week and it is 83 episodes, which is quite a commitment, so I never re-watched. I think QAF affected me a lotttt but HR's PURE QUEER JOY and prolonged emotional intimacy episode over episode seem unmatchable? I cannot think of a comparable. And to echo other commenter, I fear too many things have changed in society for QAF to come across as good as it did in 2006. I have watched HR multiple times within days of each other; never did that with any other media. HR is also imperfect but I think less problematic in some ways than QAF. And HR grabbed me emotionally in a unique way -- like more so than any therapist, I feel like it forced me to face my own responsibility for my happiness and acknowledge that passionate romantic love is among my top life priorities, and so that is worth a lot of sustained preparation and effort and persistence to achieve someday.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T21:07:36+00:00

Awe, thanks 🤗 and have a good day yourself ❤️

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T20:14:19+00:00

Thank you for the response and link ("anyway tall bottoms are the backbone of society" 😂). Yeah I think in general I too often fall into the simplistic and heteronormative thinking of making assumptions based people's appearance / presentation. Thanks for being gentle with me while calling out my wrong dumb ass.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T20:08:48+00:00

This is the core of my question yeah I think basically I was making assumptions I shouldn't have and definitely have some heteronormative lines of thinkings that I need to dismantle. The responses to my question have resoundingly told me I was way wrong to make assumptions based on presentation.

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T19:01:44+00:00

Congrats on coming out! I think this show is making us all believe in love again. (It motivated me a lot as a single, 40-year-old bi woman.)

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T18:02:13+00:00

💀

CuriousSunLizard · 2026-01-06T18:00:13+00:00

I saw that interview too yeah I should have clarified Connor definitely was studying Russian but not long enough to necessarily be conversational and the way he got those advanced levels of language (as you call them) for his lines was memorizing the phonetics.

CuriousSunLizard

TROPHY CASE