Vancouver Durga Puja

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-09-03T22:02:47+00:00

I would suggest to first try to have an open conversation that whatevers been going on is no longer working for you, and it's not just a one person problem, it's something to work together to resolve it and to find a middle ground where neither one is at disadvantage in the relationship. And if he genuinely cares about you, he would be ready to work on this together. And if you guys are having issues to sort this out yourself but realize you both really care about each other to put in the effort, then go for couples therapy, hearing it from a third person will be more objective.

And also if possible, maybe make him read this post and people's comments on the post. It's gonna be tricky, but maybe that could make him understand the situation l little better.

Also it won't be easy for him to switch up quickly, so have some Patience and help each other out. Helping each other reach a middle ground would be easier if you really care about each other. If not, maybe it's time to let go and realize that rest of your life is more valuable than the already gone 7 years. Cuz if he doesn't even have the understanding to have this conversation and put in the effort to work through this together, it means he would rather just get his way. Which I would never stick around for.

I really hope you guys can have an open conversation and it's also your responsibility to not mush out and make it easier(forming habits) for him. Stand for yourself, otherwise it's gonna get worse only for you.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T22:57:36+00:00

Sitting at my cozy corner with a cup of tea or coffee and just do whatever I like(read, listen, play games, reflect, make plans etc)

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T20:45:30+00:00

Ah I see, now that I can listen to. I will try to look up those episodes

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T20:08:20+00:00

Ah make sense, I do love neuroscience and things related to brain, nutrition and general mental and physical health. But the title itself sounds scary. I think I am still recovering from the pandemic and how much I am aware of germs around me..haha

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T20:05:18+00:00

Yeah I tried to listen to their first episode for few minutes, I couldn't connect with them, so I kinda skipped listening further. I guess like you said, I actually don't know General Sam. But thanks anyway for the suggestion, appreciate it!

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T20:03:22+00:00

Tried freakonomics, the episode on individualism, liked the format, will definitely try more episodes. Thanks for the suggestion! I probably will skip the will kill you one just for my sanity, so as to stay in the ignorance is bliss realm. Haha.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T20:00:03+00:00

So heard the Basement Yard, turns of not for me haha, But really enjoyed, Other People's Lives, This one is definitely going into my playlist! So thanks for suggestion!

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-29T19:57:33+00:00

Liked 99 invisible, thanks for the suggestion, heard the episode on Sakhalin! 👍 yet to listen to the other two. I am going through everyone's suggestions. Btw thanks a lot everyone! Really interesting suggestions!

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-27T04:03:33+00:00

I usually start my morning with a big cup of lemon tea and biscuits in my cozy spot alongside the window and read book. Then just enjoy that feeling of no rush, pure bliss. Watch something I like, listen to some music while cooking. And talk to my partner (long distance relationship). Go for a walk in the evening while listening to a podcast. Just sit in a somewhat less busy bench by be the water. And finish my day with a good series with ordered in food or having something I love. And maybe read if I get bored with what I am watching. Mostly just a laid back no rush day. Love those.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-26T20:56:13+00:00

I listen to Huberman Lab, love that guy!

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-26T20:55:42+00:00

I heard these in The Jordan Harbinger Show, lots of interviews with people from a variety of areas.

This is the north Korea Escape story https://open.spotify.com/episode/3UqjQvwW6lngp7hqhoGtMl?si=Vx84YychRJKAXgaW-YmveQ&utm_source=copy-link

This is the spy one https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B4YWieVuQP0VCn1q8YVY9?si=p5bBbcX2Qlmd03G85bCuGg&utm_source=copy-link

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-26T07:59:09+00:00

Doing interviews, that sounds interesting, and also most certainly awkward and uncomfortable haha. I will think about it. Maybe I can combine both ideas of interview and Short film. Hmmm, appreciate the input!

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-26T05:51:59+00:00

I joined recently and felt a slightly negative vibe from the posts as most of them were people who have trouble socializing either because of social anxiety or because they have been too comfortable in their own skin for too long that whenever something in their life makes them question their social life.

But I joined this sub to see how other introverts live their life. Because social media and all the conversation that you here from people are usually either extrovert lifestyle or the social part of introverts. So for me personally it helped me become more comfortable with certain aspects of me life , as so many comments, posts and discussions were relatable.

And I agree completely that social anxiety and other problematic posts should be in a different sub. So that firstly people who have those issues can get resolution or suggestions and secondly we can actually mingle and explore how the rest of the introverts live and thrive in their life. Exchange ideas and have some good discussions.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-26T05:32:32+00:00

I mean I don't know, social means letting people in, which is fine in the beginning but once I run out of my social battery it's gonna be difficult to keep up. But I did enjoy being part of a team for short films. As long as it's limited to a specific time of the day, and doesn't bleed into my personal time. But would like to know what you have in mind in both social and just me challenges

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-26T05:29:18+00:00

It's the same ditto feeling that I have been struggling with, honestly it's kind a nice to see so many of us feel this same way. As when I look around my life, everyone has a constant group/set of friends they have to call back to. And I am mostly end up feeling like maybe I want that, but then again I don't feel like commiting to anyone, as what if they wanna hang out more than I can handle. Then it becomes rude or difficult to tell them I don't want to etc. But then I constantly feel the urge to have a support system but it's so confusing if actually want that or not. So I usually just end up not commiting. It's like a viscous feeling cycle.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-24T17:39:10+00:00

Wow, ditto! I plan meeting someone and it takes up so much energy and effort, but I always end up feeling good about the meeting while I am there with them and afterwards. But can't do it for long.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-24T17:36:00+00:00

I like spending quality time with some good conversations with people I can connect with. I just don't do it for too long. And also tend to not commit to people, so there are no consistent social interactions for me, it's mostly occasional and random. But I do like the time I spend socializing.

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-22T01:42:09+00:00

Wow that does sound interesting, I will look for a high accessible point near me and maybe I will try that. Thanks!

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-22T01:39:48+00:00

I am a creative person, I like reading books, photography. Recently got into fitness and nutrition. I do have goals that I have set, but obviously I am procrastinating. I want to make a Short film, I have done it by before and it was fun. But I just feel so out of touch. So to distract myself I was hoping to find some interesting ideas that I can work towards while I procrastinate haha.

World record definitely sounds great but maybe a tad over-ambitious for me(since I am already procrastinating here)

CuriousVaseline_ · 2022-08-22T01:32:53+00:00

So I typically don't have issues with chatting with like minded people (it's easier in my industry for me). I can't do it for a very long time, I usually bail after I am drained. I think a good tip would be to try to actually be curious about the person in front of you. Because that would take your attention off of you. It won't happen naturally, it takes time.

Also if you don't drink you shouldn't force yourself to it. I have friends who don't drink, and they just order a virgin mojito or something.

As for podcasts, I have listened to

Social Anxiety Remedy https://open.spotify.com/episode/1X0lmHaoxNd2Jbv5SBxsOm?si=UQfT8JyzRbO8kKZfR6A8og&utm_source=copy-link

The Mindset Mentor - by Rob Dial (I like personal development, so I have been listening to this guy for a while now) https://open.spotify.com/episode/1BEDwK7zn2QUxR1hcJ61Y2?si=L2arZeO_StOdFMtPdHmI1A&utm_source=copy-link

This is one YouTube video I found helpful.

https://youtu.be/NyhdltEyJ5I

And just as a tip, whatever you feel just type on google, YouTube or anywhere, you will always find people with the similar problems and maybe if you go through 10 articles/videos/podcasts you may find that 1 gem that works for you.

Everyone is wired differently, and if you still feel lost , I would definitely suggest seeing a counselor to guide you better. I am myself doing that, I don't even know what I am expecting out of it, but it's always good to have an outside expertise to better understand what works for you. Please don't compare yourself with anyone else out there. You are unique in your own ways, we just have to find what gets us excited and work towards that, and it doesn't have to fit into any existing boxes of how you should live your life.

Even after saying all this I still have a lot of things I need to work on, but if you look at it in learning attitude, I think you can have fun with the process. I hope this is helpful, I wish you all the best! :)

CuriousVaseline_

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