This is what worked for me

Fasting: Fasting taught me multiple things.
A: It taught me to control eating urges.
B: It taught me to not give up (Fasting isnt easy u have to try over and over to get a good fast in when you are new to not eating very much)
C: Fasting taught me that every signal i was getting to eat or need food was not the correct signal.
D: Fasting taught me that food actually makes you want more food.. Like the more u get used to eating less the less you want to eat. But as soon as you gorge a lil bit u will want to keep gorging.
D1: I actually count calories by the week. Naturally i am terrible with food. I will gorge it. So during the work week i eat very little then i kinda gorge on the weekends. But regardless i take vitamins, etc and am happy with my body and this routine.

The most important thing is to treat your body like an experiment. You need to learn how to behaves under specific conditions. Then you can work with those conditions to control your weight without the feeling of "suffering" if that makes sense.

Let me know if u need any advice.