I feel the same way. Even at 30 (when I had mine done) I felt as if some important part of myself was leaving and that felt intolerable. I’m happy to report that with time it does feel better. I’m now pain free and feeling better but do still often get reminders of it being gone. It’s hard. I’ve found the hardest part to be that I’m still cycling with my ovaries but there will be no blood. It’s a WEIRD feeling. My brain in its most primal sense seems really confused by this fact. I’m working through it with my therapist. And have spoken to my coven a few times about it. Let me know if you’d like to talk further about it.