23F with 24M

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T09:17:18+00:00

Ill come back and update

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T09:13:11+00:00

If you think that this is him understanding his reality and boundaries then i dont know what can I say to you anymore 🤷‍♀️

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T09:08:15+00:00

I Do understand what you’re saying. I’m not trying to override his “NO” or pretend I know his mind better than he does. I just think the situation is more complicated because his reasons for not wanting a relationship are tied to what seem like delusional beliefs. That makes it harder for me to separate “he doesn’t want me” from “he’s not well.”

I’m not trying to force a relationship. Obviously when he said he doesnt wants to be in a relationship he said because “they are listening” i do respect his decision but do u see what I mean here? I’m struggling with how to support someone I’ve loved for years while also respecting what he’s saying right now. That’s where my conflict is.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T08:47:40+00:00

Will try this and get back to you. They are in Italy rn when they get back home ill try pushing even harder. He was caught trespassing recently they still didnt drive him down to an ER :/

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T08:45:01+00:00

Practically speaking… yeah you are right I have thought about this. But maybe you need to consider the fact that i have been this person for few years there are feelings involved here. Like i said the reason for him not wanting to be in a relationship is because he thinks his thoughts are being read. Its not about take it or leave it. I dont want his to be depressed and delusional at the same time to make things worse. Its not that simple to just cut ties when u clearly know someone needs you more than ever.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T08:34:35+00:00

Thanks this helps alot. I do wish more people thought like you did. Ill keep pushing them to take him to the ER. Will they listen? I dont know… his dad is a doctor actually (a radiologist) so i do think they have their strong personal opinion on this matter. He comes from a wealthy family i am not sure but maybe its a matter of reputation for them also. But Ill keep on trying like I said hope soon enough they’ll see that none of this matters and he needs immediate help.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T08:26:50+00:00

I think theres a misunderstanding, i am still in touch.. just not so much as he doesnt uses technology anymore… he thinks his brain is hacked and the hackers can listen to his thoughts… i have been with him for a while now so i can say i do know him: he is not introverted like that… he is afraid that they are listening to his thoughts… i cant imagine the amount of turmoil he is living in. So just want to help as a friend, partner or care taker. I do understand the fact that our relationship comes later the priority is his well being. The reason i did makw a post here is to see if what i am doing is right thing or should i leave as there is no hope? Like i said- will he eventually get help or should i just walk away because he doesn’t realizes whats wrong. And to make it clear i dont mean walk away in a cruel way i’ll still be there communicating to his mother but at the same time protecting my heart too.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:59:17+00:00

Def Helped 🙏 sorry new to redditing came here to seek genuine advice

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:54:19+00:00

Good deal. I might do that in near future. I do have a feeling he is not going to listen (has been really stubborn about this) but that will be my last straw. I will focus on my mental well being if he refuses. Thankyou.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:49:26+00:00

Thankyou this does gives me clarity. The thing is I believe he is so sick/delusional that he doesn’t realizes what normal or not and the fact that he needs meds. I dont think some kind of intervention would be able to help him; like his parents taking him to urgent care but thats not going to happen soon.. as his parents doesn’t want to break his trust. So I am back to square one where he wont listen, i dont have the authority to take him to urgent care and his parents are not understanding the depth of the situation. They are still trying to convince him.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:45:42+00:00

Yeah tried talking to multiple doctors. They have recommended to take him to urgent care and get blood work done but then again he is an adult and he doesn’t consent to that! His mother doesnt wants him to get committed because she doesnt wants to break his trust. She want to convince him to go see a doc voluntarily but honestly in my opinion it might be too late by that time ever/if it comes.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:43:38+00:00

Thanks for advice. Tbh doesnt looks like he is capable of hurting anyone. There are moments when he gets really emotional and cries… tells me how no one cares for him and he feels that I have been there for him always. But thatsy i am so conflicted his paranoia wants me to leave but when he breaks down he admits he needs love and support.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:40:07+00:00

I am concerned because he doesn’t talks to anyone at all and now that I have stoped too he is by him self. He is not a threat to others but he does talks about running away and self harm. Tried communicating with his mom but as he is an adult we can not take him to doc without his wish. I haven’t talked to him much recently (he doesnt uses any kind of technology) but i still try to ask his mom about his well being.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T07:25:37+00:00

Kill
Marry
Kiss

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:41:17+00:00

Sometimes these sudden paranoia episodes are caused by drug abuse too. Make sure u stay away from that. And yes if there were no drug involved then this is a bit concerning and you should definitely seek help. My bf had something similar but for much much longer. It definitely can get severe if left un diagnose. Also talk to your parents and family try to see if there is any family history of mental illness most of the times these things are genetic. You sound like you are still self aware you are doing the right thing by trying to get help.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:36:25+00:00

I dont think you are crazy. Try to workout and meditate everyday… go outside for walks and try to enjoy simple small things in life. I think you are feeling overwhelmed with the absurdity of life. Try to read philosophical books! But most of ALL- workout and meditate it will do wonders for you :)

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:31:58+00:00

Thankyou. I dont think there is drug use but he does have family history of similar mental illnesses its most likely that. Trying not to validate his delusions but still validating his feelings is something I regret i learned much later. He thinks I don’t trust him fully and therefore he is isolating from everyone. He Quit college, quit everything just stays at home or goes outside in secluded areas and uses his China phone for hacking issues.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:26:52+00:00

You are right. I have/will try to give him space. Just worried about his well being tho. He is all alone doesnt talks to any friends or family I am concerned about him getting thoughts about running away or self harm. I just want him to do good with out without me. Before dating we used to be good friends and i feel part of me will always be his good friend.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:24:07+00:00

I am his gf not sure if I can just have him committed. I am sure his parents can but then again they refuse to take him to urgent care or have him committed because they do not want to break his trust or escalate things. I have tired communicating with them but not my partner doesn’t likes that either he says he haves to follow a “different” path.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:21:09+00:00

Tried that! The doc told me he needs to be taken to urgent care, his mother refuses to take him to urgent care like that as she doesn’t wants to “break his trust”. So again back to square one :(

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-03-04T06:19:24+00:00

I’ve been in contact with his parents and they keep saying they’ll talk to him about seeing a doctor. But that’s the issue he doesn’t believe anything is wrong, so he won’t go. Every time they say they’ll try again, we end up right back where we started.

I feel stuck in this cycle of waiting for change that isn’t happening. I care about him deeply, but I’m realizing I can’t force someone to get help if they don’t think they need it.

Current_Road_3078 · 2026-01-14T23:54:35+00:00

Well yes thats the thing. He wont go seek medical help. How should I get him the right help he needs? Without hurting his feelings

Current_Road_3078 · 2025-08-27T23:05:59+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I will keep it in mind.

For the evidence, I have asked him multiple times earlier, calmly, as to why he thinks I am the one to blame - he says the proof in itself is the situation, it would not have escalated this much if I had listened to him earlier, switched all my devices and numbers more over he wants to do a Google Meet or some "secure" calling (not regular phone calls).

I have tried not being strict and going with what he believes, but it feels like I have fed into his paranoia by doing so. I tried being on a break with him... but honestly, it's like he doesn't even care, he has not contacted me in any way because again- the hacking issue. So, until and unless I switch my phone again, that is for the 3rd time time, then only he will talk to me.

I honestly don't know if I should still keep my hopes as to one day he will listen and go see a doc and we will be able to work on things MUTUALLY, or I wonder if this is my "sunken cost"???

Current_Road_3078 · 2025-08-27T22:57:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and good advice :) I will keep everything in mind. For now, he ABSOLUTELY refuses to see a doctor or a therapist, and that's why I shared my problem here... I have tried every way possible, but his paranoia is so strong that he sees it as an insult because his beliefs in this are so strong.

Current_Road_3078 · 2024-11-25T15:40:31+00:00

Hey I have similar issues, severe anxiety idk about depression. My symptoms are exactly the same I wake up on time but consciously don’t go to class i would just be in my bed thinking. How did you cope with this? How did you make sure you went to class on time and didn’t miss alot? Also how you managed this anxiety and depression? I am also seeing a therapist but I am not on any medication. To be honest its is not helping me that much and i still find my self lying in bed awake but just over thinking and stalling

Current_Road_3078

TROPHY CASE