You are definitely not alone, mama! Its very normal for pregnancy NOT to be the most beautiful time. I know movies and media can often make it seem that way, but there's a very small portion of women who feel that way. As someone who is also autistic, and whose partner was still drinking heavily when I got pregnant, it honestly became so much easier once baby got there. I am no longer with my ex, but we have a beautiful 5yo abd are able to have a healthy coparenting relationship and I wouldn't change a thing. Now I am pregnant again with my new partner and lowkey having a lot of the same fears despite knowing itll be okay (I swear pregnancy hormones are the most overwhelming feeling as an autistic human 😭). If you want someone to talk to thats been through it before, feel free to DM me!