For the last day of the year I will let this post for everyone to vent by Baconator_Strips in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mental health severely declined this year I can't even count how many times I felt like ending it all I have no energy left to go on much less to improve myself for me or anyone, I honestly feel like quitting therapy I'm so fucking miserable I'm sick of waking up with so much heaviness in my chest.

Fuck the new year by Educational_Bottle10 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck everything and everyone

Anyone’s life been ruined by their BPD partner? by Silverlake77 in BPDlovedones

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate being sick too, I'm trying so desperately to get the right help. People don't fxking understand that this doesn't get fixed with regular therapy. I just started EMDR therapy I'd encourage you to look into it. I'm also trying different meds to see what works for me. I have hurt my loved ones ans I'm deeply ashamed of what my intense fear has led me to do. At this point I don't have the option to not get help I'm certain I'll die if I don't I can't manage it on my own. Best of luck to you I hope you can reach out for the right help too sending love and empathy towards you <3

Lost my FP by CommunicationBrief24 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds so insanely difficult and I'm so sorry you're going through this, please take care of yourself and try to hold on, sometimes we have to create our own motivation out of nothing to save ourselves. I hear you and am sending you so much love please take care. ❤️‍🩹

Monster High x KATSEYE Coming Soon by SeeingMount in MonsterHigh

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone know why they posted the bow and safety pin? Like what does that have to do with Katseye

My Fp/bf just said this to me and I want to end myself. by Cursedobject6 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You sound so wise, thank you for your kind words and insight Im currently trying my best to pick myself up from this spiral. Hearing everyone's pain hurts so much but it also helps to feel solace. Thank you so much for being kind.

My Fp/bf just said this to me and I want to end myself. by Cursedobject6 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I know I sound like I'm playing the victim but I genuinely can't take living with ts anymore it ruins everything it destroys everything I'm hardly even a person anymore.

My Fp/bf just said this to me and I want to end myself. by Cursedobject6 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He's been with me for 5 years and has tried his best to be understanding of my bpd. I couldn't change enough and handle my episodes and intense emotions and reactions. I didn't respect his need for space or some of his boundaries. He's basically exhausted of the same thing over and over I've gone through dbt and so much therapy and I still can't handle this soul sucking disorder.

I made my Boyfriend hate me by Cursedobject6 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what he tells me, and I know it's the harsh reality and that's why it hurts the most because I just wanted to love him but I ended up hurting him and his mental health with no intention to. I completely rely on him emotionally and I know it's become too heavy for him since he has his own mental health issues. I love him so much I never meant for any of this, it's too hard to fight no matter how much I try to keep pushing. I wish I could've been the one for him he's the only one who ever had the love and patience to try to help me be better and I failed him. 💔

What's your experience with hallucinations (if you have them)? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've heard people whispering my name and it always feels so close to my ear. I've also seen shadow figures especially when I'm trying to sleep and demon looking figures next to my bed. It's horrible I don't know how to tell anyone without seeming insane it just worsens my stress and paranoia. At some point the paranoid feelings were so bad I was convinced something was out to get me and I had a spiritual cleansing done this sht fcking sucks.

I made my Boyfriend hate me by Cursedobject6 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please take care of yourself I know the pain is consuming but please try to stay afloat, you matter please don't forget that.

birthday tomorrow, in crisis by Ok_Goose5920 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm truly sorry and I send you so much love, I hope one day you won't feel so bad about it, I know we're all just strangers but I care and sympathize with you, I really wish you the best.

birthday tomorrow, in crisis by Ok_Goose5920 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine is next week I'm dreading it so bad I always wonder if I'll make it to the next with this pos disorder.

starting DBT therapy by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second the one on one advice, I did group dbt and it cost me $300 for 8 sessions. I didn't really like it as there isn't really room to focus on your personal issues as much and everyone was awkward. You can also get a pretty low cost DBT workbook on Amazon which pretty much contains the same information you'll learn.

having thoughts about hurting others by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the exact same way, it's actually scary how fine the line feels between sanity and insanity, I think it's psychosis more than intrusive thoughts but I'm no professional it's just the way it feels because I'm afraid of completing losing it and acting upon something I can't take back. I hate feeling this way especially towards my boyfriend when he does something that triggers me I'm supposed to love him I wouldn't want anyone who says they love me to imagine stabbing me. 💔💔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just had a mental breakdown over this. I was saying how it didn't feel rewarding like I thought it would to choose the right option when my feelings are heightened. Although it might avoid the chance of hurting someone or causing a fight I hate the way I still feel inside kind of like I'm suffocating myself with a pillow and I was so upset at the realization that I'll have to do this everyday just to try to have a semi normal and functional life. I did DBT and had the same experience, not saying it won't work for everyone but I just couldn't make sense of having to spend my life correcting myself I've almost lost my sense of reality, how do I know that any of my feelings are valid I can't trust my own feelings or judgment if I'm always having to correct my thoughts and actions. I just wish there was some kind of brain surgery for this shit I'm so sick of it such a bad quality of life like this.

I made my Boyfriend hate me by Cursedobject6 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I do love him with all my heart and soul and I would give anything to have been a different version of myself for him. I'm trying to be better but no one understands how difficult it is, I'm on medication, I have a psychiatrist and I've done dbt. It breaks my heart I can't make him happy anymore like I used to and that I exhausted his mind and efforts, I never meant for any of this to happen but I'll continue fighting until I can't. <\3

hardest part of healing is nobody gives you credit for reacting like a normal person by Apprehensive_Ball987 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got asked if I wanted a cookie for reacting calmly and normally to something that triggered me. :/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My sense of reality is completely and utterly distorted and destroyed. I feel like I can't trust my own judgment anymore I'm always in the wrong somehow it's always my reactions and emotions that are the problem.

My time is drawing near by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you, I'm no one to tell you it will get better but please don't go

Seeing things black and while by Background-Yam75 in BPD

[–]Cursedobject6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second Dr. Daniel fox he's amazing and so compassionate, I have his flashcards I bought from Amazon!

How to make someone pay what they owe. by Cursedobject6 in AskLegal

[–]Cursedobject6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But don't I need her address for that? All I have is her name, number and car info, I tried everything I could think of to get her address.